About a month ago, I suffered a very painful miscarriage (I was only 6 weeks pregnant). A few weeks after, my boyfriend broke up with me (I moved out of our home and moved in with my parents). My boyfriend said he couldn't handle the way I was after I lost the baby. He even told me to "get over it" because I wasn't even "that far along". How can I move on? Where can I get help? I feel like I had everything I wanted, then lost it all. I lost my baby, the man I love, and my home. I try to act like I don't care...that I am happy. I cry every night when no one is around...I have very violent thoughts towards my now ex-boyfriend...I feel like I hate everyone...and I hate myself. I don't want to have these thoughts...I've never been the type of person to have such violent thoughts...I hate this! I feel like I lost everything. I used to be a happy person...now I'm just bitter. Why did God let this happen to me? How can I begin to move on?
2007-03-21 09:11:20 · 14 answers · asked by ~Empty~ 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me. And I went through the same terrible sadness and anger afterwards...and I had terribly angry thoughts about my ex and his parents.....Two years on, and I am now happy, with someone lovely, and studying to become a psychotherapist...my experiences with my emotionally abusive ex and his horrendously ignorant parents almost tore me apart. I was suicidal. I would not have gotten out of it had I not gone for some help. I went to a therapist for almost a year. I would urge you to please please go and see a therapist...a miscarriage is a terribly shocking and sad thing to happen to any girl and what with the break-up as well. I ended up with post-traumatic-stress-disorder. Sweety we are all only human and there is only so much trauma we can take at one time before we need to get help. Please do this, please try to find a therapist you can talk to about this.
2007-03-21 11:25:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk with a mental health professional (psychologist/therapist), because, clearly, you are not able to resolve your problems related to the miscarriage. Added stress has been created due to your boy friend's abandoning you so that you actually are faced with two dilemmas which are beyond your abilities to control. God did not cause the miscarriage; that line of thinking is not helpful. Generally, a miscarriage occurs because there is a congenital defect of the fetus that will prevent it from developing normally or surviving, either that or there was a physical condition which you had (such as a tilted uterus) that might have contributed to the failure of the fetus to thrive. Whatever the situation, you must convince yourself that the occurrence, however painful to you, was for the best ultimately. Eventually, you WILL heal and will become pregnant again (hopefully, when you are actually married and have a caring husband to support you), and you will surely be able to have healthy children. For now, do find someone compassionate to talk with you. Good luck!
2007-03-21 09:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lynci 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The loss of a baby is always a sad thing but the child is in a better place. Sounds to me like maybe you weren't meant to have a child with such an obviously heartless man. This man should be consoling you instead of putting you down for your feelings. God didn't let this happen to you, I just think your situation just wasn't meant to be. Have some confidence in yourself, don't let this man bring you down and one day you will have a baby with a man that will love you for know you are and stand by you no matter what. You may also want to see a doctor about being put on something to get you through this. God Bless and sorry about your loss.
2007-03-21 09:20:04 · answer #3 · answered by Angela F 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You just do.. day by day it will get easier until one day you will be able to feel"normal" again. it's hard when you loose a child to miscarriage but you will get over it. As far as your boyfriend he sounds like he has alot of growing up to do.One day you will look back at this time in your life and be that much more thankful for the things you have. Hold out for true love and when the time is right you will have a child. Life is full of these peaks and valley's. As a good friend once told me" It may not be the party you expected but while your here you might as well dance" And that's what you have to do. Life is a blessing don't waste a single moment!!!
2007-03-21 09:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by GI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you find a support group in your area (of people that have gone through a miscarriage) or a support group on the internet if you can't find one locally. Often I think that it is difficult/almost impossible for other people to understand what you are going through unless they have been through the same thing. I don't have the personal experience to help but I can say that you should allow yourself to grieve your loss and I think you have every right to be upset and angry. You really need some people around you that can provide you with support and understanding. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that things get better for you. Take care and best of luck to you.....
2007-03-21 09:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by sydney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God didn't let this happen to you sweetheart, we are living in Satan's world right now...God loves you, and so does Jesus...there is no need to blame anyone, because it is just a sad thing that happened...The Lord blessed us with the beauty of reproduction, and you will concieve again...it just might not be the right time for you...it hurts me to think people always blame God, when that is satan talking...if anyone, blame satan,...he is the one who is out to make you disbelieve in God..and I feel you are a person who does..in the meantime,...Pray for healing, and forgive the boyfriend that is hurting also...men sometimes show their hurt differently..even when it seems cruel...Time to not sleep with him any more, and wait till you find a man who will love you enough to marry you, and you will probably end up having many little ones..I am truly sorry for you, it is a very hurtful thing..but maybe just not meant to be at this time...this happened to a friend of mine, and she now is the mom of a beautiful child and another on the way...and with that, all the hurt is gone, except for a kind memory of the angel she lost...Be strong, and just pray for strength, but don't turn on the one who Loves you the most...God Bless little one..
2007-03-21 09:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry u are going thru all these things at once. But from personal experience i can say that if u r having violent thoughts it may be a form of post partum-even though u didnt carry to term u have built up alot of hormones and it can really have strange effects on people./ i suggest u go to ur obgyn or even a family doctor and tal,k about getting medication to help regulate ur hormones and help u cope better./ my family was very against anti-depressants,k but i was depserate for help and i use them./ Now two other members of my fam use them too./
2007-03-21 09:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be careful. answer the ex civilly which you're so sorry this befell to her at that distinctive time. clarify which you too had a tricky era yet have now moved on and are fortunately married, prefer her each and each of the final and that's that. Dont answer from now on of her contacts.. yet, previous is previous, close the door. Dont permit the ex come into your existence. it is going to in all risk reason your spouse some lack of self assurance and jealousy, thats favourite, and you dont prefer to do something which will disenchanted your spouse or your cutting-edge courting.
2016-10-01 07:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better you found out that he was a loser before you did decide to have a family with him. You are with the people that love you the most now, and the only thing you can do is work towards your future. I know what it's like to lose something so precious...but you never know what the future holds. Remember you are not the only one. my grandmother miscarried before my mom... google some websites that deals with women and the pain they endure when they miscarry.
2007-03-21 09:19:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think the key is that you need time to mourn the loss of the baby. If you try to move on as if nothing happend it will eat away at you. You need to mourn the loss of the pregnancy, maybe even talk with a grief counselor that specializes in miscarriages. Check with your Physician or local Hospital. They will give you the keys on how to deal with your grief.
Best of luck to you.
2007-03-21 09:25:56 · answer #10 · answered by Aundrea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋