I myself personally am considering joining active duty and making it a career .. I was just wandering how do active duty soldiers in the Army find love, get married, have a family, and keep it strong even tho they are constantly being moved and deployed... plz give me your thoughts good or bad.
2007-03-21 09:10:02 · 11 answers · asked by Chris 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Further ?'s ... i shoulda threw this in the main thing.. sorry.. but nehow..
Once married can wife move w/ you from base to base as long as ur not deployed, and does the Army benefit them too?
2007-03-21 10:22:00 · update #1
If your wife is willing to accept that she is not the most important thing in your life, it will work. It's hard, though. I know my husband would like to be at home with me but I also know that his job takes priority.
Personally we met before he joined, so I can't really help you there. I think the most important thing is communication though. When you are deployed, calling home rests entirely on you. Even when you're tired and don't feel like calling, keep in mind that your wife/kids will have been sitting by the phone for days waiting on that call. You have to make the effort to call and then be willing to honestly communicate with her to make the relationship work.
Personally the moving doesn't bother me. If you marry someone who is really close to her family, it may be difficult for her to have to be far away from them when she is already going through a difficult time if you're deployed. Technology makes it easier to keep in touch, though, even if you guys live overseas.
When you get married, your wife gets free healthcare, cheap life insurance, and all the other benefits. She can shop at the commissary and exchange and use anything else on the military base, just like the service member.
Overall, its a good life, but it IS very hard. It can be especially difficult for young kids. There's a few years there (2-6 yrs or so) where they are old enough to notice that Daddy is gone, but not old enough to understand why. That can be tough, but if you and your family are willing to work at it, it can be worth it.
2007-03-21 10:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I met my husband while he was in the Marine Corps. It's not easy - but our married is very strong. We have been married for almost 16 years now. He was in for 8 years & in the field or deployed for a great amount of that time. It takes a strong marriage to survive - benefits it makes you both even stronger.
Now my brother (Army) married while he was enlisted also, he married a girl who was looking for a father to her two children & a way got of her small town - 8 years later (and I might add; after he served over a year in Iraq) they are divorced. So you never know how things will work out - just give it 100%.
2007-03-21 16:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to say it isn't hard but it's defintly possible to find and have a strong family while your career active duty. Sure you may have to wait a little longer and look a little harder to find the right one but they do come along in time. Then it's just a question of how hard your wiling to work to keep them going strong. There are some really hard times and I wonder for half a sec if i made the right choice, but the love of my husband is never in question and I know I wouldn't be this happy anyplace else. You just have to get through the hard times and look forward to the good times. It's a different life but it's worth it.
Kelly
Fort Bragg, NC
2007-03-21 16:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by bonnieblue716 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've been married to my Marine for 15 years. It hasn't been all easy...but it hasn't been all hard either.
Trust and communication are the only things that will help you during deployments (especially year long ones).
There are no guarantees in marriages...
But (and I can only speak for myself) when he does come home from deployments it's like we are on our honeymoon again.
And RESPECT. My Sexy Love Man respects me and what I do back home to keep things afloat.
Good luck. Marriage is work regardless of being in the military or not. But it is also soooooo rewarding.
EDIT** The military for me at least has given us a great life!! I've got to see new places that I wouldn't have otherwise and met some great people. I've always looked at it like an adventure.
2007-03-21 17:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by twinmomm 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As long as the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is supportive of your military career, it isn't a problem. Sure, there are challenges, but any marriage has challenges.
Definitely... the most important key is a spouse who is understanding of how much time and effort must be put into your job.
2007-03-21 16:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by fredonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advice: you will be away for home for years and it gets lonely. It's one thing to date & have a good time. It's another to end up married/preggers to someone you don't even know that well. So many females will try to get preg. and keep the guy even if they hardly know one another (not all but plenty do it). TRY to avoid making any big commitments for a while til you have your career underway.
2007-03-21 17:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a military wife I can tell you my husband and I met by being introduced by mutual friends. We had alot in common when it came to what we wanted for our futures. Family and marriage just seemed a natural progression to our friendship, mutual respect and love for eachother. As long as any couple go into a relationship knowing what to expect from eachother and neither partner deviates from that, a relationship will stay strong. It's when one lies or suddenly changes their expectations that things go awry. Trust is your greatest asset.
2007-03-21 16:18:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you think about the relationship portion in the military you should see if you want to do this as a career. If you don't like what you are doing then your not gonna be happy regardless.
2007-03-21 16:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The "strong" part is what's difficult. It's not for everybody. The divorce rate is high in the military. It takes special people to make it work.
2007-03-21 16:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by Matt 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
ive never been in one but my sister married a army man.......they have a bumpy road but every relationship has that. it takes two dedicated people who are really in love and dedicated to make any type of relationship work. i hope this helped a lil
trust and communication goes a long way..........................
2007-03-21 19:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by amopsamster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋