I have a 15 year old daughter and both my husband and I starting to get concerned about her behavior. We can't get her to take care of herself, like brushing her teeth, wash her face, brush her hair...can't get her to go hang out with friends, or attempt at making new ones...can't get her to do anything around the house, all she does is sit and watch TV. When it comes to school she struggles in every class with the exception of PE. She's constantly lying to us about everything, from homework to simple questions. She wants to get her drivers permit soon and I don't see that happening at all. We are just so worried because she lacks responsibility and maturity. We’ve tried giving her responsibility but it doesn't work, she blows it off and we get upset. It's like she just doesn't care!! We've taken things away from her when she's does something bad and have told her she has to show responsibility to us before we let her have her permit and so on. Will she ever grow up, be responsible?
2007-03-21 09:03:08 · 18 answers · asked by CJ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I agree with all of the above, and as a mom of 3 older kids, I say it could just be a stage too. One of my kids was so moody at that stage, I brought her to a counselor and they told me we were both 'normal'. It reasured me though, especially since I was worried she might do something silly (to hurt herself or run away) Just made me feel better to have a total stranger evaluate the situation, and took the pressure of worry off me.(at least for awhile) She's fine now!!
2007-03-21 09:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by nickname 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi I'm 21 and I remember 15 very we'll. Have you ever considered she might be depressed? People always think what can a teenager have to be depressed about? A lot of things. School is the number one. With classes and homework to the other kids. Kids can be real cruel in today's world and with most girls they just want to fit in. Maybe shes having a hard time fitting in and that's why now she doesn't care what she looks like. You really need to help her out of the whole not wanting to have good hygiene. Maybe you can buy her a new outfit or take her and get a couple things of makeup and show her how to wear it if she isn't wearing it yet. This age girls are transforming into women. There are a lot of pressures on them. There are drugs and eventually sex and I doubt she has come across these yet. When I was 15 I was an honor student and I dealt with everything that I have mentioned and the stress of pushing myself and everyone else pushing me led me to try to commit suicide. I talked to a guidance counselor once a week after that. I'm now 21 married and just had my first daughter. Be patient and don't push her but let her know Ur always there in case she needs to talk.
2007-03-21 10:53:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mom to Isobelle 2, & Gavyn 8mths 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this could be depression, but then you are a better judge of whether this is the way she has always been or is this something new, a phase ?
If this is the way she grew up watching TV, not grooming herself or taking care of her self then....well thats her norm thats the way she grew up, she doesn`t know any other way. And now that you`ve started to notice that then well, start all over tell her the importance of those things..... in a loving way.
Well, if she usually does those things, takes cares of her self and does her chores around the house and doesn`t watch too much TV..... then this is a new attitude and seems like she is going through a phase.
In whatever case, Try to find the cause by developing a loving relationship with her. Leave everything and make her your priority and solve her problems....she`ll love you and make you proud of herself.
You are her best counsellor
2007-03-21 10:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by Who? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with SexyBlackFasho, Stop Spoiling her. Stop letting her run the house, she is still a child. Spend time with her aswell, show love and affection but don't spoil there is a diffrence. She needs to be more responsible, the only way she will be is if you teach her that she has to work for what she wants in life.
Don't get her a car until she can prove to you she can be responsible. And until her grades get better and aswell as her behavior. People may say it may be depression. I was once 15, and it could also be her way to get attention. You just need to spend time with her. Mother and daughter time, maybe she wants that. I'm guessing their is a stepfather..if so then she just wants to spend time with you. If you were spending time with her than you would know her more and why she acts the way she does.
Spend time with her, go bowling together, take her to the salon, have a one on one conversations...get to know your daughter.
2007-03-23 04:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by Moe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say, but I think a few things when I read this...
she could be depressed
she could have bipolar (and thus depressed some of the time)
she could be using drugs
Why don't you consult the school and see what they think of her behaviors there? Then consult a professional (psychiatrist &/or counselor) to see what their thoughts are.
Bipolar kids are famous for not having friends, lack or responsibility and being unkept. But there are so many other factors and you can't say just from this little bit. Get some feedback from those that are around her all day.
2007-03-21 09:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
teenage years, they are harder to deal with then walking on nails, i think you should join a local support group, i can't give you advice because every teen deals with things differently and without knowing her, i wouldn't want to suggest something that might cause a disaster, i feel for you, i have 3 teens, but listen to your gut, if it's telling you something is wrong get help, even if it's in a support group, social services offer free classes to parents with teens that are full of new ideas that you can try also a local rec center, ask for advice from her guidance counselor at school, the local YMCA might have classes or groups look in local newspaper, if you are involved in a church that's a great resource, go to a book store and look under teenage girls or parenting a teen, this is your child try everything, and good luck, feel free to e mail me even if its just for some support
2007-03-21 12:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by melissa s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might be depressed or sorry to say....on drugs. Maybe you should take her to see someone and take away that TV. And don't even think about giving her that car.......you will just end up with a spoiled brat.
My cousin was the same way actually. He talks to a professional now and has improved. He has friends now and doesn't lie anymore. Maybe thats what she needs.....a professional to make her appreciate you more and all. Good luck
2007-03-21 10:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She needs to get a job, I know winn dixie will hire her. It's a start for her to learn to be more responsible. She is still under your roof, don't let her sit around and watch TV. You are the parent, its not because your being to strick..its because you care. She is still a child, maybe you should spend time with her and have mother and daughter time. And just tell her your concerns without yelling, tell her she can talk to you about anything. (and she should be able to) Don't give up on her, and don't let her run the house. (she is still a child for goodness sake) You need to call her school everyday to check up on her and set up conference with her teachers (don't wait until they call you) You need to get down to the root of the problem. And tell her teacher's that your daughter needs help with her school work.
Get her involved in some after school programs, And if she wants to watch tv or wants money or anything else she needs a better attitude. I wouldn't put up with that. She needs a good old fashion butt whipping. Stop spoiling her, don't let your children run the house. YOU ARE THE PARENT!! She needs to obey your rules or be mad...who cares!!!
Just get down to the root of the problem, do some girly things together, teach her girly things don't just tell her, buy her perfume, and face cleasner, and things like that. Make her feel beautiful and maybe she feel better about herself. But the attitude has to go if she always want, want, want...she needs to work, work, work
2007-03-21 09:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by SexyBlackFasho 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She will grow up to be responsible and so on. Don't give up on her if anything push her more into being responsible and let her know that responsiblity is big thing in growing up. Spend more time in things that she might want to do get her started in something that she likes or might like and she should go on from there. Don't baby her.
2007-03-21 09:13:09 · answer #9 · answered by Dtwins 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
nurture her interests, if she likes PE, enroll her in some after school sports classes, excerise = motivation and increased feelings of well being (endorphins and all that jazz)
also she has expressed and interest in getting her drivers permit soon - yet you say you do not see that happening.
sounds like you need to show more faith in her and beleive in her, even if the rest of her behaviour doesn't show that she believes in herself.
when someone is showing signs of depression and they are generally lanquid, then they need to be encourages (subtley) about the things they ARE trying to do.
but for sure I say start with a few different after school sports, she will be proud of herself and it may help her out of whatever else she is dealing with deep down.
all the best with it.
2007-03-21 09:12:32 · answer #10 · answered by Beluga 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋