My boyfriend had social anxiety. What can I do to help?

Question

My 20 yr old boyfriend has suffered from social anxiety since middle school. He overcame much of his disorder when sent to a therapeutic boarding school for high school, but he still is uncomfortable in talking to those he isn't very close to, and doesn't like crowded social scenes. Is there anything I can do to help him? What are the do's and don'ts of dealing with a close friend with S.A.D. ? Thank you!

I just want him to be happy and be able to hang out with me and my friends sometimes, because most of the time it's just the two of us. Is it better to introduce him to one friend at a time slowly or should I just not bother? What are some things to keep in mind to keep his confidence up and anxiety low?

Answer 1

Accept him and don't try to push him as he may just turn away from you. Try to be understanding but do not compromise for him. If it doesn't affect him so much that it's ruining his life and he can't function in society then leave him to it. But be supportive. If the answer is that it is affecting him in this way talk to him and maybe seek profession help. Good luck!

Answer 2

Social anxiety can cause these feelings, which can also lead to severe depression,
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...

if not you could be suffering from Generalized Anxiety
Disorder..http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/general_anx...

There is hope; I've been there, and still am there, it is a long, hard struggle. I recommend
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me, with mild anti-anxiety meds. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.

Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.

Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.

The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxiety.us/findinghelp.... and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.

I recommend a mild anti-anxiety med in addition to CBT therapy.

Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!

Answer 3

You can be there for him and be his friend, but fixing him is not your job. It is up to him and getting help from a therapist to resolve his problems.

Answer 4

try talking about it then try tostop it.