Well, i just met this girl about a week ago. She just moved into my town. As soon as she did i introduced my self and we qucikly hit it off. We are now going out but as im finding more about her i dont know if i want too. See she said she has smoked b4 which i think is grose and i told her that. She said she smokes ony once and awhile now. Well anyway she flirts with a lot of guys and she said she had lied to her boyfriends b4. I just dont think she is the right one for me. Im thinking about dumping her but i aint really sure. Her friend pretty much threatened me telling me not to do anything to hurt her. Although at the same time i dont wanna get hurt either and get lied to. She also dosent have the best home life. Her dad drinks, her brother smokes. Her mom sounds pretty cool though. If i break up with her i just dont wanna hurt her, is there any ideas anyone has for me?
Srry for the long post but its what i found out so far
Thanks!
2007-03-21 08:44:25 · 24 answers · asked by Paul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell her, you are not like other guys and you like to wear women clothes and you're thinking about having a sex change.
2007-03-21 08:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by Jagger Otto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm I don't know if there is a such thing as a "pain free" breakup, unless one person doesn't have any feelings for the person that they are going out with. But if you do not believe she is the right girl for you, you are justified in ending it, because you should be spending your time looking for someone that is! Be as polite and complimentary as possible- tell her that it has been a lot of fun but she just isnt the right girl for you and you like her as more of a friend. Say that any guy would be lucky to have her (doesn't matter if you mean it- it's nice!), and that you know one day she will find the right person, but it is not you and you dont want to hurt her by leading her on and making her think that you are. This way, she will probably still be hurt, but will at least not think you are a jerk (hopefully). Good luck!
2007-03-21 15:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by Charlotte M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this girl really likes you there will be no such thing as breaking up "easy and pain free". It's will hurt her...BUT if you are going to do it it's best to do it now while you have not been together too long than letting her get more attached to you and being hurt even more later. Tell her something like this..."I need to talk to you. I like you and we have only been talking for a short time: but the more we talk the more that I see that we don't really have alot in common, and I think that we have too many differences to make a relationship work. For instance you smoke and I really don't like smoking and I don't really want to be with someone who smokes. You also flirt with alot of guys and you may not think that there is anything wrong with that but I do because I don't want my girlfriend flirting with anyone but me. So I just think that we are not right for each other. I don't want to hurt you but I would rather do this now than let us get further into this relationship and be hurt more later". Then you be quiet and listen to what she has to say and then work it out from there. If you are really sure this is not the girl for you please don't stay with her out of pitty because it may take longer, but you will end up breaking up with her later. Do it now and let her move on.
2007-03-21 16:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by kristin747 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, it sounds like you are young & from a small town, so you will see eachother a lot - which can make for a stickier situation. You have only known her for a week, which I hope means there has been nothing going but hanging out.
Since it sounds like a small town situation, I'd only hang out with her in groups of other friends & do nothing romantic - hold hands, kiss, put your arm around her - just be a guy in the pack. If she asks why it's not going anywhere you can then say you like her as a good friend, but that's where you are at - a friend. As far as I can tell with no further details on what you have done together - this should be sufficient.
2007-03-21 16:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by ang_phx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're making so much out of this - you met a week ago and just tell her that you want to be friends first and rushed into being her boyfriend (if that's even your status), because it sounds like you all are young - under 17 and it's really not such a big deal, because relationship wise, if you see qualities now that bug, why let it prolong things?
2007-03-21 15:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by HappilyEverAfter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i hope she doesn't read that! lol...
i know how you feel... because that has happened to me before! i just took a deep breath and arranged to meet them... i said it was something important but for the best, oviusly he knew what i was going to say! we went out for tea and chatted about not knowing eachother that long and maybe being together isn't such a good idea... questione ing everytihng i said, so he had a part in it, making sure it seemed it was split choice to split up! luckily it went okay and we remain good friends! just explain that it is too soon and you didn't really know who she was and it would be cool to stay friends!
good luck!
ashali x
2007-03-21 15:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u seem really sweet and sincere! tell her exactly what u wrote! if she doesn't understand then she's not worth it anyways! she doesn't sound like she the right girl to get into though! drop her, and when u do it be be the person in ur question! she has hurt enough people without hurting u too! and if u wait too long, ull lead her to believe u do like her and it will only get worse! do it quick, b4 it's too late!
2007-03-21 15:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lollipop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've only known her a week, you shouldn't even have to "break up" -- just don't call her anymore.
There's no way of getting out of a relationship without causing the other pain (unless she's having second thoughts about you, too).
Can't be done.
But don't see her any more.
She'll get the idea.
2007-03-21 23:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she isn't the one then go before it is too late. It's been what a week? it can't be all that serious. Don't worry about the friend either lots of people like to put up tough fronts. trust me there is no painless way to break up just a less painfull way. and one way is to get it done before it really is serious.
2007-03-21 15:51:35 · answer #9 · answered by missi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you don't feel like a relationship between the two of you just doesn't feel right for the time being..and that you want to break up. If it hurts her, it isn't your fault..you shouldn't stay in a relationship you don't want.
2007-03-21 15:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, a week ago huh? taht doesn't constitute much of a relationship so you wouldnt' really be breaking up with her. what is it so hard to say "the more i find out about you the less intersted i am. sorry" that's why people date, to find out more about that person and see if it's really worth their time. move on dude, grow some balls and move on...
2007-03-21 15:49:12 · answer #11 · answered by al e. c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋