As i wake up in the morning with a dizzy head,
I look over my shoulder all confused and all upset.
I turn around and in the counter i see, a card that says Happy Anniversary.
Why do i feel so much sadness in me , then I walk towards my big mirror and then I see.
My face swollen up and witha black eye Is this hopeless or should I try.
I hear a voice deep inside, get out while your still alive.
2007-03-21 08:39:16 · 21 answers · asked by devenylee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its ok i give it a 6
2007-03-21 08:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 out of 10
2007-03-21 08:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Goldman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good i'd give it a seven! go over it and look at ur adjectives like "big mirror"! come on there are better ways to describe a mirror! i would also take out the "all" before upset! we already know ur "all" confused so ur gonna be "all" upset too!
But it has a great meaning and it makes me think about abuse and how stupid it is to deal with it! and if this has happened to u follow the voice inside!
i think ur talented and u should keep up the poetry! good luck!
2007-03-21 08:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lollipop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is solid. i like the preliminary set up, and the lead in to the darkness. strains seven and eight are incredibly difficult to artwork into the total poem. you've absolutely the reality that the overdue nighttime walkers could be on their protect, and then contradict it with some are yet some are not. This contradiction is the purely difficult area of the poem. i like the wrap up and how you pull a activate the reader on the acceptable of the poem. i could provide it a 6.5 out of 10 only because of the contradiction and the way it sits with the reader. solid success
2016-12-02 11:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10, I have been there it's a horrible feeling. I really hope your not going through it. I'm only 21, I started going through it when I was 17. It's rough, but if you are going through it... Trust me. Leave while you still can. Get help and get out.
I have been out of it since I was 18. I finally met the man I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with and we are getting married April 14th. Hunny, it's not worth it. Trust me.
2007-03-21 08:46:18 · answer #5 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
caught my eye and had me think. I would give it a 10 because no woman should stick around and i would hope that they were in there right mind to think GET OUT WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE
2007-03-21 08:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by secretlovechic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Your poem sounds very sad and if you are experiencing physical and verbal abuse please seek help and get out of there . I will not give it a rating because it sounds serious and also a cry for help .
GOOD LUCK !!
C
2007-03-21 08:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by Constance M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure hope this hasnt happend to you and ifit has you need to take your own advice and get out
10
2007-03-21 08:44:06 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10. I don't think people's personal thoughts and feelings should be criticized, no poem is anything less than a 10.
But please if it is based on fact, find someone to help. No one deserves that.
2007-03-21 08:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
... ah its pretty good but... yea, if the poem is about you... you really do need to get out while you're still alive. just a suggestion.
2007-03-21 08:43:35 · answer #10 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋