comfort or desire?

Question

lets just say you met this guy once like almost two years ago but he was a bad boy with potential....instant sparks.....but you were already involved with someone you have been with most of your life and have a pretty good life with....but you were like a second class citizen in youre old relationship....you stay with the old boyfriend but constantly think of the other guy everyday is it stupid to have stayed and let that kind of feeling pass or dive in head first into something that is not sure unknown and scary but there was a mutual attraction and definate chemistry that was unlike anything you have ever expierienced.is it better to leave well enough alone to just wonder about what might have been for the sake of my current family situation kids and what not sorry it was so long

he doesnt want to get married and my key board and operating system is french so thats why my punctuation is off a little i apologize for that i know its annoying sorry

its probably just the seven year itch thing but why in the hell does this guy dominate my thought its insane and so not my style we didnt even ingage in any kind of kanoodeling what so ever

Answer 1

Aww. I'm so sorry you missed the chance. Be more ready to jump next time.

It's your genes, girl. Women like rogues because they fulfil an important genetic function.

Humans brains, instincts and emotions are suited to our natural state, predictably. That natural state includes living in groups of around 50 individuals. Everyone knows each other, and everyone knows their relative status in the group. This is a very stable situation, and good for everyone's stress level, etc. It's the living pattern that 'communes' are based on - but unfortunately few of these work well in reality, and some of them are disasters: largely due to the fact that the sort of modern people who do something so unusual are frequently driven by a touch of sociopathy, and some are downright nuts, and think they're the Messiah and so on.

But that basic plan is what we're designed by nature for. And it has one major problem: inbreeding. An isolated commune or small village (or the other similar groups as found in desert and plain nomads) tend to have a rather shallow gene pool, and every now and then it's necessary to introduce some new blood so as to keep immune systems working and stop lethal recessives building up. So this is seldom a problem for humans nowadays, even in Mongolia, but it used to be before travel was possible.

In the jungle, among species who live in communal groups, nature solves this problem with special individuals, sometimes called rogues. These are usually tough loners, and a bit sociopathic by temperament. Their 'job' - which is really just an instinct - is to move between groups, impregnating the high-status females in hurried and torrid secret encounters. If they and their partners carry it off, the rogue is soon over the horizon, and the female's official partner is none the wiser. New blood is in the system, and everything goes back to normal.

Obviously this wouldn't work unless the high-status females found these rogues attractive enough to be worth risking all manner of bloody retribution if they're found out, an the certain death of any resulting child. And there's no time for the rogue to carry out a major seduction - the whole thing has to happen like blitzkrieg.

So there has to be *something* about these rogues that is a devastating turn-on. They need to have good genes to begin with anyway, so they're going to be physically attractive in some way. They also need to be tough - because if they're found out the other males will try to kill them with extreme prejudice. Good running is no doubt a must.

Modern humans no longer need such complex subterfuges. Even where isolated groups still exist, they'll usually have a degree of arranged marrying-out or -in to fix the problem.

But the instinct still remains in both sexes. The tough, romantic loner is still an icon of fiction, and the idea of women being drawn to 'bad boys' is still true and real. In posh society the actual part of the rogue is often filled by tennis or judo coaches, pool cleaners. They inject (cough) their genes into high-status families where hubby may have all the money and status, but not necessarily the best genes. In some countries the percentage of babies born who could not possibly have be sired by the woman's official partner tops 20%. There's a lot of it going on.

How this impacts you is that you have a chance, once in a while, to have a brief fling with an individual who turns on some deep instincts and responses in you. Chances are, this will be fun. Just use barrier protection and there will be no fallout but memories - but instead of the regretful ones you have now, they could be exciting, secret ones of a magical night or two when the earth really moved.

Just remember that your body will be working against your better judgement in some ways. Tests have shown that these flings, when they happen, tend to coincide with the woman's maximum fertility. In this and other ways your ancient programming will try to make sure that your oven is ready for buns. You should make sure you block this part of the plan.

CD

Answer 2

Well, i think the most important thing to consider is, are you really attracted to the new guy because of who he is, or do you just like him because he is not your current man? If you only want him because he's new, than you should stay and make it work with your current man. However, If your current relationship is really not going anywhere then you have to do whats best for you. Dont worry about what could have been, thats not a good enough reason to break up with your current man. The past is the past, you have to focus on the future, yours and your kids. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

God, I miss punctuation and capitalization. It would make your question much easier to read. Don't be afraid to use the enter key. Splits things up.

In answer to your question, I personally go for comfort. The whole "bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". BUT if you don't mind being alone if it doesn't work out, go ahead and take the risk.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

actually ..I felt the same way with someone ...only now Im more mature and learned that ppl that charishmetic are usually fake...A stable relationship is better...I thankGod I didnt fall for an idiot..
I am however unmarried.. But I can be sure that there must bemore charishma with being married and having feelings for someone else.

Answer 5

I dont think of housing inspectors care approximately those issues. yet you will possibly prefer a technique to get rid of sewer and trash, and a technique to maintain your pipes from freezing. telephone, information superhighway and cable arent needed. water and warmth are. I dont have under pressure out telephone, information superhighway or cable, and no automobile- and albeit, ought to care much less what every physique thinks. I certainly have a job, pay hire and taxes, and am as lots a member of society as all people else.

Answer 6

Life is full of choices... don't allow a moment of pleasure to ruin a lifetime of love and by all means address this second class citizen issue that you have, because you are not....

Answer 7

the right thing to do is to do what is best for your family. the feminist movement has women brainwashed into thinking they should follow their desires and disregard what is right. before long we're going to have women leaving their husbands for high school boys. women should realize the sex isn't the most important thing in life.

Answer 8

if you didn't already have a family and kids, i'd say go ahead and go for the other guy cause you're not in love with the one you have now anymore. but since you're probably already married, you can't do that to your husband and your children. you made a vow that said "until death do us part." keep it.

Answer 9

Stop thinking about your sparky bad boy with potential..
That is a road to ruin for you...
If you are looking for excitement, find something new
and exciting to do with your current b/f...
How about getting married ??

Answer 10

desire can lead to heartbreak and lonliness my friend. comfort can be rewarding try sparking up a few things. Use your imagination and allow it to bring desire into your comfort zone