My boyfriend is greedy with money. He is selfish, immature and does not admit that he has a problem. He has been married before and left her because she did not give him enough sex, she did not have anything to do with him for six months. I am now with him and since we have been together for the past 3 years it has been a tough relationship . He has kicked me an my kids out and we got our own place and now we are back again living with him again six months later. He is very hard to satisfy and I feel sick all the time and depressed because he makes me feel like I have to behave or I feel like he doesn't love me for who I am. I feel scared because I don't have a job right now, I was just in the hospital for three days for falling, I feel like he has complete control of my life and I want to find the right man who will not boss me around and make feel like I am lesser than him.
2007-03-21 08:30:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he treats you like crap because he can and you allow him to do it.
What you must realize is that we TEACH people how to treat us by accepting certain behaviors...you have taught him that its okay to treat you crappy, the very fact that you took him back lets him know that its OKAY to mistreat you.
You left only to take him back and allow him to continue his abuse...your not helping him, your hurting him by letting think its okay to be a jerk and its okay to be abusive and on top of that your hurting yourself.
The cycle breaks when you break it.
2007-03-21 08:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by yunchi30 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK ......
First, forget about men for the moment. Concentrate on YOU and your kids.
Second, contact a friend or family member you trust. Ask them if they can support you until you find a job.
Third, leave his house ASAP.
Fourth, get a job and send the kids to school.
Fifth, start paying rent or move out to your own place.
Sixth, stay away from this man and all others like him.
Seventh, wait a few years before you date. Think of how these men influence your kids lives.
Eighth- Be strong and make some friends!
2007-03-21 15:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by Bear 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend treats you like crap because you let him. It will only get worse as time goes by. It is very hard to undo.
I know that people should be nice and treat you nicely even if you don't ask them to, but people don't.
A person like you ATTRACTS MEAN guys. They see you and think "Patsy." You are attracted to mean people because you think they're "powerful and in charge" and it is comforting and safe, until they try to overpower and demand of you.
Today! Call a domestic violence hotline and let them help you. Right this minute! You are a victim of EMOTIONAL ABUSE and so are your kids. Call a college Women's Center. They will help you.
Every day you stay is a sin against you and your children's future happiness. You could be permanently disabled and then what...??
Grow a backbone, and take you and your children out of that miserable life. Get a roommate or two jobs, but get out now.
Now you are hurt , and it will make leaving that much harder. Get out while you have any life left.
Get out now, and get a tiny little place, and live your life. Do what YOU want and think is right for your children.
Quit looking for a man to bail you out --you will just find another controller--
Grown, adult, kind men, good men want someone who is grown and independent to live with. (And to MARRY!)
If you don't like the kind of men you attract-CHANGE YOU!
A decent guy wouldn't do what he does to you, and a loving, respectable, strong woman wouldn't put up with his crap for a minute. YOU can DO THIS!
I bet if your DAUGHTER had a boyfriend like that guy you would want her to get out now.Right? Think about what ou would tell her, and then DO THAT!
Teach your children to stand up for themselves, be strong, and work to live right, by YOU doing it.
Teach them that love doesn't HAVE to hurt. That they deserve to be respected and loved for themselves. How are they going to learn that where you are now?
BTW, if you have been with him a while, and put money into his accounts, you are entitled to half his money-in most states. CAll a bank to find out.
Good luck, hon. Tell us how it's going. E-mail me for moral support. Go tot he phone right now, and call the hotline.
2007-03-21 16:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be mean but he does it cause he can. If you do not demand respect from people you are not going to get it. Get up get a job and make a life for you and your kids. Get rid of him. You deserve better and so does the kids..If he would kick you and your kids on the street what kind of man is he anyway and to be honest that should of been enough right there to get you to leave him. Leave again and this time stay gone!!
2007-03-21 15:37:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you are setting a very good example for your kids. You are allowing him to treat you badly and they are seeing this. You may not think that they understand what is going on, but they do.
It sounds like you need to get yourself a job and then get out of there. You need to be independent and not look for another man to take care of you. He is treating you like this because you are allowing him too!
2007-03-21 15:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by Meadow Soprano 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend does this because you allow it all i can offer to you is this get out now and do not listen to any boo hoo's ect from him you will only continue to get more of the same from him as you already have gotten so now you know why his first wife is an ex
2007-03-21 15:34:44 · answer #6 · answered by billc4u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He treats u like crap cause he can. Leave his ***.. life is 2 short to put up with an asshole like that. Until u have some self respect, you aren't gonna get any respect from him.
2007-03-21 15:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by Amelia 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He treats you like CRAP because you ALLOW him to.
2007-03-21 15:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't treat you like crap, your treating yourself like crap for staying with him. Respect yourself and dump his ***
2007-03-21 15:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by lindarh22 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
face it lady you are a doormat. he will treat you like a doormat as long as you let him. get some self esteem
2007-03-21 15:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by Biggy smalls 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋