i might be pregnant... testing this weekend to be for sure... well, if i am my bf and are getting married... his family is agains birth out of wedlock and noone has done it in his family for generations. he doesn't want to let his dad down so we plan on going to the court house asap and getting married. we both know we'll end up married down the line so is it ok to get married now to keep his family from disowning him if i'm pregnant???
i'm 20 and he's 23 btw
2007-03-21 08:29:47 · 11 answers · asked by Back*To*Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Only if you love him and want to marry him. Don't do this to make others happy.
2007-03-21 08:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a shotgun wedding too, cuz we both knew eventually we were gonna get married. Just remember its your choice not your families.
I really dont understand why the family would disown either of you if you do plan on getting married......its 2007! I've always heard once the grandparents see the baby, things defenitly change for the better and they forget about everything else.
But if you do get married take a few months to plan, so that everyone can be present, you can shop, have parties, and not feel rushed. Your probably gonna be hormonal, so take it easy and avoid stressful situations. Good luck.
2007-03-21 15:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i found out i was preg at 17. i waited until i was 18 6 months preg and me and my husband got married. We had talked about getting married later on down the line but things just happend a little quicker than we both planned. His parents pushed us to get married fast before the baby was born. I do not regret doing that i mean i love him and we have been married for 5 years now. i'm just as much in love with him as the day we met. Things were bumpy at first but if you truly love him you will stick it out and take the ride things will get better. Make it through those tough first couple of years i promise it will get better. A good peice of advice is dont listen to other people do what you want to do whats right for you guys. If you love him and you feel that its right to get married then do it. I dont regret it. I wish i would have had a bigger wedding it just didnt happen that way but i married the man of my dreams anyhow.
2007-03-21 15:34:55 · answer #3 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm...I guess. It depends on how long you've been dating.
Just so you know: you're really young and have a lot of growing up to do (that's not meant as an insult). Most people don't truly become individuals until they hit 25...by then, you're living on your own, have a job, and can run your life without help (and you'd have only been doing so for 3 years, assuming you went to college).
Me? I'd pray for a negative test. If it was positive I'd think about how "Catholic" I was (you get the subtext) because 20 is too young to have a kid...I know that girls who are 16 are doing it too, but I haven't seen it work out too well for them. If you want to keep it and you've been dating for at least a couple of years, then go tie the knot...
Tough situation, so good luck!
2007-03-21 15:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not suggest getting married just to please other people and especially only because you are pregnant (if you are).
You are young and have a full life ahead of you and have a lot of time and opportunity to think your decision through before you take action.
It is not uncommon for a non-married couple to be having a child nowadays. If this is something new to the family I am sure they will quickly get over it. Their issues should not be a factor in the decisions you make for your future.
Best,
G
2007-03-21 15:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by Georgina 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think marriage should be something that's forced, regaurdless of whether or not you & your boyfriend think you'll want to later anyways. So what if his family gets upset. If they love you guys then they'll understand or get over it eventually. If you present the issue to them by saying like, "Uhm we're pregnant so we should get married right?" then they're going to jump all over you, knowing that neither of your are strong w/ making this decision. Tell them you are pregnant & that it's best for the child to live with happy parents. Having a child will just put a lot more pressure on both of you & who knows whether or not you guys are ready for that yet. Hell I know I'm not planning on having a child until five or so years after I'm married.
I know this child probably wasn't planned but I'm just saying. You want a child to be brought up in a stable environment, it's easiest to create that when you're already married. But that poor kid would suffer if you & your bf couldn't work things out & were fighting all the time until you finally get a divorce. I don't know how open you are to having an abortion but I assure you that if I was in your situation I would get one. I want to raise my children when I'm stable & able to support myself, also when I have a loyal husband to help.
Basically if you're set on this getting married quickly thing then I think you need to stand strong on your decision. If you're going to have the child out of wedlock (which would be more flexible in case things don't work out) then stand strong & don't let his family's disapproval knock you over. You are your own person. You make your own decisions. It's none of their business if you & your bf want to share having a child. It's a privillage for them to be involved in a new life. They're not the ones that will be changing the diapers & staying up all night, you will, so who are they to complain?
I know I said what I would do but it's definitely all your decision. All I'm saying is that you need to stand strong on your decision, regaurdless of whoever disapproves or approves.
2007-03-21 15:43:39 · answer #6 · answered by aussie_gurl118 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two should not base your decisions in life on what other people will, or will not think about you two. If you want to wait to get married, that's up to you two, not other people.
The times have changed since our parents, and grandparents were younger, and because they did something one way, doesn't mean you have to do the same thing, especially something as important as marriage
2007-03-21 15:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both of age so do what you think is best for both of your lives. If you get married Congratulations.
2007-03-21 15:35:10 · answer #8 · answered by djsanner@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong as long as its what you want to do. just be sure that its mostly for you and him, than for his family and other people, before you do it.
2007-03-21 15:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get married.............but remember what you really want!
2007-03-21 15:41:49 · answer #10 · answered by chr_met 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋