I have been dating a woman who has 5 kids
from 5 different men. She was sexually molested by her mom's boyfriend as a child.
Do we have a chance? She is very evasive
and manipulative.
2007-03-21 08:28:35 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
An irresponsible uuu umm S L * * !.
Her being sexually molested as a child is no reason or excuse for having 5 children with 5 different men.
There are unfortunately many women who have been sexually molested and they are responsible.
There are such things as keeping her legs closed and birth control.
She should have got help a long time ago.
She should be in counseling, if she is willing to go that is.
Morals and self control definitely lack with her and the fact she is evasive and manipulative...counseling or not...I think you would be better off without her!
She has too many issues and too much baggage!
2007-03-21 08:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Intelfem7 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would leave before you do get too attached and learn to adapt to her situation. I think she may need some type of counseling because most women who are molested usually tend not to be with a man at all or when they do they are very promiscuous !!!!! She obviously has problems dealing with men and relationships and there is a reason why she has 5 kids with 5 different men. They didnt leave while they had the chance. Dont let there be a 6th kid that has a different father and where she may be on the way to her 7th guy. !!!!
WHatever your choice........... GOOD LUCK !
2007-03-21 15:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this gal sounds like she is trying to get as much attention as she possible can. no one can really tell you what to do, but if I was in your shoes I would step back and ask myself is this a relationship I really want to persue? Her being evasive and manipulative is not really a good sign. Try backing off on seeing her and see what happens, she might have a different attitude if you kind of ignore her.Also ask yourself the times you to get together what is it that makes you want her? Has she told you everything about what has happen with the 5 kids dads? This gal might be one of those who wants alot of attention just so she can try and forget about what had happened to her in the past. Whatever you do, only you can decide. Be careful and if you continue seeing her do it cautiously. Good Luck!!!!!!
2007-03-21 15:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by lilmystic63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know what??
Get out while the gettings good!! This woman has too much baggage and too many problems. Needs to get herself some professional help and God Bless those poor children.
You certainly don't need this relationship.It would never have a chance and she's had enough relationships already to last her a lifetime.
Evasive and manipulating!! Go boy,as fast as you can.
2007-03-21 15:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she needs help to deal with the emotional baggage left to her by the abuse
She uses her body to get what she wants because that is what she was taught as a child.
YOU cannot make the changes for her and you will never be enough for her to overcome the past- she needs professional help.
If you love her then be there for her as she works through the past. Eventually she will come to eralise that not every man wants her just for the sex and not everyman will use her.
You need to go to the library and do some research to see if you can handle all that it will require for her to overcome this.
2007-03-21 15:35:35 · answer #5 · answered by bootsjeansnpearls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is manipulative, and have 5 kids of different men, what she needs is to look for a phychology, cause something is wrong with her. I think she is not the right woman for you, if you think in a serious relationship.
2007-03-21 15:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by girlofdbest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-03-22 00:27:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mark V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand quite a bit about sexual molestation and what it does to the psyche. For you to even be asking this means you probably have what it takes to dedicate yourself to her and make it work. However, so far she does not have a positive track record with relationships. She is obviously the one with the problem. She does not need you to stand in judgement. She needs to be understood. Without proper counseling, she will probably never be mentally able to commit to just one man because her mom's boyfriend led her to have a deep inner fear of intimacy with a man. That explains her evasiveness. Being manipulative is one way victims like her learn to cope with their past. Often times it stems from learned behavior and they actually take on some of the negative traits of their molester. Other times, being manipulative comes from someone over-protecting themselves from harm and heartache to the extremes of "doing it to them before they do it to me."
You will be in for a long, difficult journey if you choose to stay with her. I have seen relationships with similar circumstances where the woman got help with dealing with her past and they both got relationship counseling where he learned how not to trigger flashbacks from her awful past. Whether you have a chance or not depends if you can care about her enough to go through enormous emotional challenges and whether she cares about you to try to face up to her past and learn how to overcome it.
2007-03-21 15:57:15 · answer #8 · answered by Deb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this sounds like my ex sister in law. she gave up her ist child from daddy#1. got pregnant while she was with my brother in law. dna test says its not his. got pregnant a 3rd time by daddy#3 said it was my brother i laws, not his! the baby was another race. 4th pregnancy from 4th daddy was the neighbors kid! now shes on #5 from daddy 5. this girl manipulates everyone. uses her kids as pawns. i think some people are just too messed up in the head to waste your time on. i have children from my ex-husband and my new husband has children from his ex-wife, its hard enough to deal with 1 ex but 5!!!!!!!!!!!!! one more thing what do her kids fathers think about her? that might tell you alot. also why hasnt she learned from her mistakes the first 4 times. by the way my ex sister in law has abandoned her last 3 children, dept. of family services is looking for her, and shes wanted by the police. sure you can stay with her but good luck daddy#6 LOL
2007-03-21 15:45:54 · answer #9 · answered by lori n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that she may have some unresolved issues with what happened to her as a child and may need to seek some help. I'm sure she is a nice person but without professional help she may always be evasive and manipulative and without it she may never be able to have a loving, lasting relationship.
2007-03-21 15:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by accebermn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋