My partner and would both love nothing more than to start a family together. 2 years ago we bought our first house and our mortgage payments are really high. If i became pregnant there is no way i could give up work as with a mortgage and other debts it wouldnt be possible. I am a traditionalist and would love to be at home for my family but thats not going to happen and as i dont have family around to help with looking after my child it only leavs me with one other option and that is to find a child minder. The cost of this is not cheap approx £175-£300 per week per child. I am aware that you are able to claim working tax credits to help with these costs. I went onto their website and completed a simple online form to see roughly what benifits i could get to help with the costs and it came out to £40 per week. I was hoping that it would totally cover the costs otherwise we couldnt afford to start a family. any advise please???????
2007-03-21 07:58:14 · 16 answers · asked by nightshadeblue 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You will NEVER be financially prepared to have children. The fact of the matter is, you have to be MENTALLY prepared. No excuses, no "well if we have a kid we can't do this..." etc. If you're not prepared to make sacrifices, you're not prepared to be a parent.
I had my daughter at 22 years old, and she has never gone without. I don't have fancy clothes, or an expensive house, or even a car made in the 90's, but I have a beautiful little girl who thinks the world of me. When it comes down to a new toy for her, or a new pair of jeans for myself, the toy comes first. When I had to choose between a promotion at work, or taking another job that was night shift so that I could be home with my girl during the day, I chose the night job. It's just something you do when you're a parent. You put your children above anything else. If you're not ready to do that, you're not ready to bring a child into this world.
2007-03-21 09:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by * 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from experience that no matter how much you save you are never really ready for a child, financially speaking. I got lucky and found a job that allows me to work from home 3 days a week and I take her in with me the other two days. I know that's the ideal and most don't have that, but maybe you could work from home a few days and only need daycare 2-3 days a week, cutting the cost of that. It's a shame to miss out on having a baby and all the joys involved just because of money.
2007-03-21 08:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mandy W 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask...then you cannot afford it. Pay off bills and refinance or pay off your house. Then you can start a family. Maybe try reading books by Dave Ramsey. They will help you with paying off your debt.
My suggestion, since I have been in the same situation (I chose children) would be to pay off as much debt as you can in a year, then see where you stand. 1 year is not a long time to wait and then you may be able to stay home. If you do not, then you will end up having to work and probably somewhere down the line would feel guilty for not staying at home.
2007-03-21 08:19:45 · answer #3 · answered by any p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clear your debts. Work overtime, save hard and pay them all off one by one so you are only left with your mortgage.
Also look around for another mortgage company that may offer you a better deal (you will find one)
Once that is all done, you will be able to have a child. Maybe you could consider working part time around your partners hours once the baby is born?
Be patient and don't give up!
2007-03-22 22:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by LauraMarie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can afford to have children. If everyone had the same thought, there would either be no children or all the worlds children will grow up in someone else home or daycare center. I couldn't afford any of the seven children I have but The Lord has provided a way everytime I needed it and No, I do not live on welfare. I couldn't help but notice that you referred to the other person in your life as your partner which would imply either a boyfriend or live in love of the same gender. If you want to raise a family and you are a traditionalist then wouldn't you want to be married or if you are, wouldn't you call him your husband. Just wondering.
2007-03-21 08:09:08 · answer #5 · answered by dadof7n2001 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i got pregnant with my first daughter when i just become unemployed we never got anthing as we got married and due to my husband working we wasn't entitled to benifits till she was born.
We managed my mil bought pushchair, bedding clothes etc. We bought a cot for £38 including the matress from ikea and a sterlisier for £15 incluing the bottles.
You dont have to buy new carboots, charity shops are great as babies grow so fast the clothes are as new anyway!.
We now have 2 daughters and are more stable we get working family and child tax credit i stay at home. i'm like u in that i think you should stay at home with the children.
I don't think you can ever b finicaly stable to have kids they are expensive but u manage.
2007-03-22 06:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by donnalouise83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
40 per week to pay or only 40 per week cheaper than the original cost.
well either way,
in my opinion and what i have found to be..children financially are a HUGE sacrifice. Not only does it cost daycare..but diapers, wipes, formula, baby food, clothes, gear, etc etc etc are A HUGE cost.
I stay home and my hubby works BUT we have had to scale down our lives BIG time. even if I worked, we would still be scaling down too. We at one point have owned only 1 car, moved to a lesser apartment, no vacations (just day/car trips), we do not eat out accept on Fridays and its pizza (nothing expensive or fancy).
Its possible to have a child but you really need to look at fiances, see where can be downsized (mortgage,car, cable, phone plans, trips, eating out,etc) or done away with and if that's the kind of sacrifice you want to make.
good luck !
2007-03-21 08:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by tara t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's all about priorities. If you really do want to have children and be at home with them, which in my opinion and experience is a very worthwhile and rewarding thing and best for the children - maybe you need to move house to somewhere cheaper where your mortgage wouldn't cripple you? Nearer family so they can help you out?
2007-03-21 09:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by flowerpot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a smaller house in a cheaper area?
Track all your expenses for a month - keep every single receipt- and then look at it to see where you could cut expenses, give up your gym membership, limit eating out etc. It may be possible for you to afford a baby with a few sacrifices.
2007-03-21 10:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a smaller home then you wont have high mortage. Whats more important where you live or the child you always dreamt of. If you leave it too long you might not be able to have children as fertility decreases with age.
2007-03-21 10:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by allforme283 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋