How to ask for wedding sponsors?

Question

I am getting married in August and my fiance is Mexican American (Chicano). His family says that we should ask friends and family to sponsor our wedding. How do you go about asking family friends to sponsor your wedding? (Especially those friends that are not familiar with this tradition).

I have to admit that I am a little upset by some of the answers given to my question. I don't appreciate all of the closed minded responses and I would really like to hear answers from those who understand the culture and it's traditions. I already know that the tradition is native to mexico and that it seems weird to some of you, but please try to give helpful responses. Thanks!

Answer 1

Actually wedding sponsors is a tradition in many Hispanic cultures. Since there are many people not familiar with this tradition, I would recommend you and your fiance sit down with your immediate family to discuss the various cultural traditions (including wedding sponsors). But I would still leave it up to your family to offer any assistance. Then I would sit down with your fiance and his mother to discuss possible family and friends who they think would be good to ask and how best to do it.

Answer 2

Wow I guess i just didnt realize how many small minded people there are in this world especially in Amercia! I am at least intelligent enough to research the question if I don't know the answer. Alot of cultures have similar traditions and we as americans have semi adopted some of them. Where do we get the tradition of the money dance from?! In Italian weddings the couple accepts envelopes of money from different family members so while they dont get the money up front they sure get it afterwards! American parents often buy their children houses or cars or pay for the honeymoon etc and certainly seem to feel obligated to then try to control your life. I am American and offered for an extended family members wedding to pay for the flower girl dresses also for the tuxedo for the ring bearer I didnt however feel obligated in any way to push my opinion onto the couple nor that they were cheap or tacky in accepting. Why don't we offer to help people more? Why would anyone think it tacky or in bad form to ask someone for help? We seem to think it is PC to be involved in donating to some charity we probably know nothing about but have issues when it comes to simply lending a hand to family members or people we know or even to people we dont.

I researched the answer the same as other people chose to do:

"Sponsors" are usually god parents or special others who contribute to the cost of the wedding. In establishing the wedding budget, and particularly in contracting for wedding services, it is important to know which sponsors may be paying for what part of the wedding"

I found this link to be very informative:
http://www.weddingdetails.com/lore/mexican.cfm

Answer 3

In some cultures, it is an honor to be asked to sponsor a wedding, and is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, so don't banish the idea out-of-hand. However, it sounds like this is not a custom in your culture, and the bride has usurped a custom from another culture for her own gain. While I think it's great to combine customs, they should be used because they have some meaning, or add something to the wedding, not to satisfy greed, which is what the bride in your case was doing. We had the kind of wedding we could afford (and paid for it ourselves), just as most of our family and friends did. I would have been mortified to ask anyone to help us.

Answer 4

I'm not sure about the traditions of Mexican Americans and I've never heard of asking the family to sponsor the wedding. I know that Mexicans are a very close-nit group of people so I imagine they all chip in and really do up every occasion - weddings, birthdays, etc. Just talk to his family and ask what they can/are willing to help with in preparations. Just keep in mind, when you ask others to help you, the outcome of the event may differ from the event you have in mind because you can't take people's gifts and donations of help without taking some of their ideas as well. So if you want to keep the reign of control on most of the details, I would suggest you do most of it yourself. Good luck.

Answer 5

My understanding of this tradition is that certain friends and family VOLUNTEER to help sponsor the wedding. You're NOT supposed to ask them or suggest to them.

(I mean, way to put someone on the spot! If they say no they look like the meanest, coldest person ever, if they say yes they may be agreeing to something they cannot afford, just to save face!)

ETA: Wait, I take most of that back-- it turns out that it's the parents' role, not yours and the groom's, to find the padrinos. Here is a quote:

"Religion and tradition required that the parents of the bride and groom (consuegros) find a couple to sponsor their children for their wedding. "A request to serve as padrino (best man) and madrina (matron of honor) was an honor, and seldom refused. It carried responsibility for supervising the preparation of the couple for the wedding and providing guidance and counseling if the couple experienced difficulties in marriage."20

Answer 6

Perhaps you know a paragraph or two that could briefly describe/explain your tradition of "sponsoring". I suggest typing this on a separate color parchment paper and include it in with your wedding invitation envelope. At the bottom it would be nice if you added:

"As part of our wedding day, we wanted you to be educated and understand all of our wedding traditions, including sponsorship. However, this in no way obligates you to participate unless you would like to. We are happy you are able to share in our joyful day."

By including this extra note in with your invitations, you are not only providing a better understanding of your culture and traditions; but you are also giving your guests plenty of time to consider a sponsorship.

Hope this helps! I'm sure you'll look beautiful, and I'll pray for beautiful weather, as well. Our daughter is getting married in June 2008!!

Answer 7

Different cultures have different ways of doing things, What seems cheap in American culture goes back hundreds of years in the hispanic culture.
The Mexican culture are more of a family unit and they all chip in when they do weddings.Please good Mexican/hispanic wedding traditons to learn more. The exchange of gifts from both parties was expected and so today I am presuming it comes in the form of money. They like the jewish people have a money dance and other forms of gifting the bride and groom.
So with this in mind read what the actual tradition says, and work out a solution. You could ask for donations of flowers, or other wedding items, that would lessen payment. Be able to explain clearly what these traditions mean. It will not only help with the wedding but the future relationship between the parents of the bride and groom. Ask your fiancee to help in this research and have both sets of parents sit down and speak about it. Happy married life.

Answer 8

I think you should ask his family who to ask since "sponsors" are supposed to be people who are mentors to the bride and groom throughout their engagement, and even after they are married. The bride and groom honor them with a place in the wedding program.

"Sponsors" (Padrinos) are usually god parents or special others who contribute to the cost of the wedding. In establishing the wedding budget, and particularly in contracting for wedding services, it is important to know which sponsors may be paying for what part of the wedding.

You'd need to sit down with his family and discuss which people have influenced his life the most, or who his godparents are. If he hasn't any godparents or close family friends like that, then I don't think you should expect Padrinos.

Answer 9

I am not of that culture.....but my family seems to carry the same tradition. It isn't being "cheap!" What @$$holes! My family are twisted on it, tho.....If they believe it to be a good match, they will help (even if you don't want them to).....if they believe it to be a bad match, they won't.
It is difficult with some of them, but I just came right out and asked if they would be willing to help! Traditionally even whites' weddings were paid for by the parents! Modern days, most families are not structurally sound.....so many youth pay for their own, and forget about tradition.

Answer 10

I personally have never heard of this tradition but Im not Mexican American either so... I would suggest you ask someone on your fiance side of the family to write down and explain this tradtion to your side of the family at the engagement party. Im sure your side of the family would love to learn about his culture so they can embrace him into the family. But many other cultures might find it rude, if you do not explain the significnce that it sounds like it has to his family. Just remember you still might get to some rude comments if they are not willing to learn about different cultures.
If you arent having a engagment party and still want your side of the family to be party of the sponsoring of your wedding, I would look around at a few websites explaing the procedure and send it on pretty paper in a thank you for what they have done in your life card. This will allow your side of the family to be include in everything his family will be.
good luck!!!