How do we tell my ex that I'm dating our mutual friend?

Question

A friend of mine (Jake) had a crush on me for several years, but I wasn't interested and I was honest about this. I later became interested in a friend of his (Paul) and we dated for about 5 months. Paul and I broke up (painfully, but not maliciously) and, in the aftermath, I ended up in the arms of Jake, having realized how much he means to me. We have a great relationship that has been built upon years of trust, etc. Even though he's known me longer, Jake feels a little guilty -- like he's stabbed Paul in the back. How should we tell Paul that we're together in the least-awkward way possible?

Answer 1

Jake knew you longer and had a crush on you for longer. Even though Paul didn't do anything "wrong," Jake has more of a claim on you than Paul does so he shouldn't feel like a back-stabber. Paul knows you're friends -- just have Jake drop a few hints about the fact that you've been hanging out more often and then say something along the lines of "We're kind of dating." Paul probably won't be upset -- unless he's still hung up on you -- although he might be uncomfortable. This is natural, let him know that you understand that it's awkward, but that you're hoping you can all be mature about it.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you're going through, I just dumped my ex's friend and got back with my ex.. Lol.. Now the answer to your question:

First up, there is nothing wrong with dating an ex's friend and his friend might feel guilty but hey he liked you way before Paul did!

Depending on the kind of person Paul is break it out to him. You should have been honest from the beginning, but we never are. If you know he's going to get real mad then pretend like you asked him for permission before doing it! And if you know he's not then just tell him!

Answer 3

He should feel guilty as that is just what he did....snake.

Why do you feel the need to tell your ex, something is wrong with you. Maybe you feel guilty of breaking up two good friends and ruining that friendship forever.

Paul will find out when that happens, one of you telling him is just throwing salt in a wound. Why do you want to hurt him more?

Clearly Paul is better off without someone as mean as you.

Answer 4

I think Jake needs to tell Paul man to man how this whole thing went down. I think he will understand.

Answer 5

It's hard to tell because of the fake names. The names are so corny and distracting.

Just tell your ex, honey, when I was with you, I always really wanted to be with your friend. I'm always thinking of other guys. Tell this to "Jake" too, so he knows that you think of other guys all the time.

Answer 6

I don't think that paul should get mad, cuz you mad the deciton to go with jake. but jake should be the one to tell him, cuz there good friends.

Answer 7

in specific circumstances we unwittingly serve up our adult men on a silver platter to so referred to as friends or perhaps kinfolk by utilising discussing intimate info of our relatives with them. needless to say it hurts to lose somebody yet to lose them to buddy or kinfolk member is an greater harm. Be the bigger guy or woman and circulate on. you will consistently ought to manage him because of the fact of your baby. enable your baby be your concentration, you will recover from this. the final guy will come alongside at last yet you ought to shop the main substantial factors to your self.

Answer 8

don know
try wearing a catholic school girl outfit next time u bonk em so he'll forget one guilt for another!

Answer 9

Well, if you don't tell him and he finds out he may or may not be happy about it.

Answer 10

that's atough question, he's going to be hurt no matter what you say