Is there hope for someone like me?

Question

I'm not very funny (i.e. I am not witty or good at cracking jokes), but I do know how to laugh and can see the humor in life. I don't have many things to talk about because I have kind of a boring job and I'm a busy college student. I just feel like I need to be more exciting. My gf says that she loves me, but I have trouble believing that she can love someone like me. I'm strong, but I don't act macho. I don't act chauvanistic. I never had a father figure, so it's hard to act like a man's man. If that makes any sense at all....does anyone have advice as to how I can expand my horizons, be funner, enjoy life more, and be more masculine. I am not like a little girly girl, but I truly think I need to learn to act a little more chauvanistic (not a pig), but just more of a smart ***, etc. I do good things for my girl. I take her to the movies, plays, treat her like a gentleman, etc, but I feel like something is missing on my part.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like you feel life is passing you by and you want to catch the spark ...I commend you for wanting to expand your horizons and be a better person...She Loves you as you are but that doesn't mean you should stop growing..we all need to learn as we go through life..so don't let anyone say stay as you are...be the person you want to be and can be...there are books you can check out from the library and if you haven't read it you should read men are from Mars , woman are from Venus..it will give you incite into how woman think and the differences in the sexes...but then read other books and educate yourself with a little effort you will become that man..

Answer 2

Don't be trying to live up to the expectations of others as far as what constitues a man. Men, just like women, come in all different shapes, sizes, characters, and temperments. Learn to be happy with yourself. I think you are feeling a little insecure; thinking that your girlfriend would like you more or that other people would like you more if you act like someone else. Why go to all that work, acting through life? Be yourself and attract people who like you just as you are.

If you think you could stand some character growth, look around at men older than you. Find one that you respect and figure out what it is that you respect about him. It may be that he is a man of his word, a man of integrity. That doesn't require being macho or loud or aggressive. It means being true to your word.

As far as expanding your horizons, try some new things in life - different classes in college, a different place to eat, walking in a different park. Read, watch the educational channels on TV. There are so many worlds to explore. The uncharted one may be the one inside you. You can gain emotional and spiritual growth by looking inside through meditaion. Maybe this is what you're missing.

Answer 3

Eventually life will catch up with you and you'll find that these attributes are actually what a lot of women like in a man. I don't know what you think you're missing, but being a smart*** is not what you need to do. If want to "butch up" a little join an intramural sport like evening softball or play some pick-up basketball. Hang out with the guys some.

Answer 4

Obviously she doesn't. I am a bit older than you and could say the same thing. As far as being funnier, just look around and see what's going on around you, then make a quick comment that nobody really gives any thought to. Ex: Why do they have locks on the doors of stores that are open 24/7?

Just watch some of the stand-up routines on Comedy central (Christopher titus, Bill Engvall, etc.) Hilarious.

Answer 5

People see way deeper than those ideals. You are your own person; that's who your girlfriend loves! If you tried to change you, find hwat's missing. then you won't be you anymore...
Try to think of all the little things you like about your girlfriend; they all add up! It's the same with you! You don't have to be funny, you don't have to be a "man's man". Just be who you are.
Nobody wants to become a smart ***! Just be smart! And the nice guy you are!

Answer 6

Make a list of things you always wanted to do (a realistic list) and pick one a week or month and do it! If your girlfriend says she loves you, chances are, she does. But more importantly, do YOU love you? You don't need to be more macho, you just need to learn to appreciate the person you are.
The world has enough smart**ses and MORE than enough machismo's.
Just be yourself and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you.

Answer 7

There is always hope! Besides you sound like you treat your gf pretty good. You should ask her if there is anything missing in your relationship as she is the one who really counts.
Don't go taking a bunch of crazy ideas from people on this site and try to change who you are...go with the flow and grow on your own. I would think input from your gf would carry the heavier weight than answers from those of us out here. Good luck.

be cool...

Answer 8

u are exactly like i was befor i got into public school

and so my friend will stop bugging me stop saing masculine

what u need is comedy central

just a joke but seriously if u want jokes learn from the pros

and for the abbs problem check out 24 fitness or puchas a bow flex

Answer 9

I think you are spending too much time thinking about yourself. Volunteer at a firefighting department. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Volunteer and help those less fortunate. A lot of people never had a father figure (including me). Life isn't fair.

Answer 10

mainly u need to stop trying to be something ure not. i dont mean this in a mean way. u just need to find something u are good at and go with it. if ure girlfriend says she loves u i, im sure she really means it. u just need to do things to boost ure confidence. the main question here is, are u doing this for ureself or other people?