im a girl and i have this guy friend. i thought we were really close, we used to talk alot and share personal stories and we even talked about the fact that we are attracted to each other even though nothing will happen cos of his long distance relationship with his girlfriend. the thing is whenever i text him to hang out he never texts back and when i see him the next day he says he got the message late or makes some excuse. but he always manages to text me when he needs help with his college work. i dont understand whether he's just a fake friend who is using me since we seemed to click s well and he always says im the only person at college hes met that hes on the same level with. what do u think. ive been distant from him lately because i feel used and he asked me the other day if i had a problem with him. should i bother telling him or just end the so-called friendship.
2007-03-21 07:25:52 · 14 answers · asked by poppettes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would let him know that you feel like you are being used.
He wants you around when he needs you, but fails to respond if you need him.
Sounds like a user to me!
Let him know and then let him go and move on to find a real friend.
Maybe by telling him he will change his behavior and stop using people...but most users remain users.
At least you will get how you feel off of your chest and will be able to move on easier.
be cool...
2007-03-21 07:33:31 · answer #1 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I'd bother telling him or necessarily end the friendship. He seems abit self focused. Maybe putting some distance between you might be a good thing, or not being so quick to respond to him. You can always opt to offer the same lame excuses as he does when he asks why you didn't respond. You have a life too. Since he has a girlfriend there's no need to even think about a romance at this point. I don't think it's a good idea to alienate him though...since a college guy could come in handy on campus for any number of reasons (help with car trouble, catch a ride somewhere or use him to fend off someone who's harassing you). You never know--you might need him as a friend. You're right to question why things seem so one-sided. It's obvious he's avoiding hanging out with you--maybe he feels guilty. But I see no reason to be too open about your feelings as you don't owe him anything. Keep it casual.
2007-03-21 14:33:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't end the friendship, have it out with him. say to him what you've said on here. let him know your concerns if you're so close. perhaps he feels that he can talk to you better face to face rather than by text message. there is always a reason behind this kind of behaviour, i just hope you sort it out.
Maybe he thinks when you text him that it's something more serious and you're after him as a boyfriend as opposed to a friend who's a boy! Maybe he's worried he'll wreck the friendship if he explains this to you.
The best thing you can do honey is talk to him.
Good luck with it x
2007-03-21 14:34:18 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Tickle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you want a closer, more serious friendship than he is capable of having or allowed to have. He's definitely your friend when he needs help. He's uncomfortable being your full time friend because that might mean that he's romantically interested in you and that would not be acceptable to his girlfriend.
If you can accept him as a part-time, when he needs you, friend, continue to be friends. If you need more constant attention, let him go and find other friends.
Friendships will hardly ever be on just the terms you want them to be. The better plan is to accept from every friend what they are willing to give and be glad to count them as a friend.
2007-03-21 14:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hes using you for help on his work im afraid to say i did that when i was in college, its not nice but thats the way it goes im afraid, be civil to him but dont get your hopes up..good luck
2007-03-21 14:40:43 · answer #5 · answered by SUNIL S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should just let it go coz if he really wants you he will sort him self out but if u give into him he will just feel u are for free.if he really wants to be with u he will sit down and try to make a decision so he does not miss out on you
2007-03-21 14:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by shiva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a dont think hes using u dear a just think he dont want to hurt u by saying to u he dont want to get close to u when hes away from his girlfriend!speak yo him how u feel!tc.
2007-03-21 14:57:59 · answer #7 · answered by james480468 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally think that he is just using you!!! I also think that he doesn't have any friends at school and he wants to use you for comfort!
2007-03-21 14:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he IS using you.. you should let him know u feel that way BUT He will try to sweet talk uback into becoming his friend. just ignore himand stuff
2007-03-21 14:29:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mandy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just end it. Let him look for you or come to you. Then you will know where you stand.
2007-03-21 14:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by MindGawker.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋