When your man breaks up with you and asks if you still want to be friends, isn't that like your mom asking if you want to keep your dead dog after he's been run over? Wouldn't it hurt worse?
2007-03-21 07:19:28 · 27 answers · asked by Lucky Lady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No..absolutely not...many people split up for different reasons and remain friends sometimes very good friends..does not have to be all or nothing unless there was some terrible thing that happened...........if not be friends..if it hurts too much at first do not spend much time together until you can deal and feel comfortable
2007-03-21 07:21:58 · answer #1 · answered by connie b 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with your analogy. I know couples that are able to stay friends after a breakup, and are glad they did. It depends on the level of maturity of the people involved, as to whether or not this can happen...and also the reason for the breakup.
Just because a romance is ending, doesn't mean we need to behave as if that person doesn't exist. Yes, it can be difficult to step back and be platonic with someone we'd shared intimacy with, but we got together with them for a reason, so there must be some good stuff in 'em, y'know? Sometimes it takes a break of a few weeks or months, to let the heart heal, before we can be around them and not feel pain or longing...but it can be done and it's great when couples can do that.
One can never have too many friends. ☺
2007-03-21 07:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's nearly impossible to have a real friendship immediately following the breakup of a romantic relationship. There is a natural period of mourning, resentment, adjustment, and healing that needs to occur before any satisfactory friendship can occur.
What the "dumper" is trying to do in this situation is express that they are sorry for hurting the "dumpee," and still values them as a person. However, the "dumpee" needs to validate their own natural feelings by saying that they need some time and distance to deal with the problem, so if the "dumper" is sincerely interested in being friends, they should respect that separation for a few months and then renew contact.
2007-03-21 07:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that being friends after you break up can only happen if either you BOTH want to break up, or if enough time passes for you to get beyond the hurt part. If you are still in love with the person who broke up with you then you are setting yourself up to being exposed to having to see him with other girls possibly, like if your whole group is hanging out together or at the same games etc, At least you won't be forced to sit through that with a fake smile and trying to be nice and be a "friend" when your really trying not to cry and wanting to rip her hair out !!
2007-03-21 07:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by trixxxi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Its more like sending the dog to the pound, but still being able to visit (for some love and affection), while he gets three new ones. Those situations only hurt the women. If a guy can achieve that- that's pimp!
Sorry, next time don't be afraid to ask the guy if he's ready for one good meal, or if he still enjoys buffets? Good luck!
2007-03-21 07:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can u think it this way my dear friend
If man himself breaks with you because he does not care, then he won't care enough to keep you with him for future, he will say good bye and good luck.
If man loves the other sincerely, he would like to keep the other at least as a friend because what matters most is the presence of a loved one. Presence is necessary to make things better in the future, if the other is not present, relationship is dear for the future.
2007-03-21 07:25:28 · answer #6 · answered by Goldman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up and asking to be friends is a good way to say:
"Even though it didn't work out can we agree not to trash each other when talking to other people?"
Let's face it...you're probably not going to keep going bowling every weekend, but at least you can agree not to hate each other and if you "agree to be friends" then you dont' have to carry around a bunch of anger and mess with you
2007-03-21 07:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on the type of relationship you had in the first place. If you were open and it was based on friendship, it would be fine to continue being friends since you have so many things in common.
Although if you were never friends before and don't have any hobbies in common it's not even worth keeping his number.
2007-03-21 07:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for some people it works better just to remain friends, and yet for others it doesn't. Depends on the matters at hand. My ex husband and I are the best of friends, and this has benefited our children. Other people find it hard to move on if they continue to have contact with their ex. If this is your case, then at least be cordial when you run into your ex and do not think you owe him anything more.
2007-03-21 07:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol that is exactly what it is like girl!!! I don't think that it is what men really want!! I know that if you tell your friend about a new guy you met that are happy for you, you tell your ex who is now your friend they get jealous, fly off the handle and want you back. So how good of a friend are they really going to be!
2007-03-21 07:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋