I love him and we've been together for 7 years. I just don't know if I want to get married, in general. I don't want to plan the wedding. It just seems like so much work. If we do it, I just want that run away to an island and get married on the beach. Is that wrong? Did anyone else feel this way?
2007-03-21 07:11:15 · 29 answers · asked by jenny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To clarify....
I wanted to get married before he asked...terribly. And was fine with everything for about 6-8 months. And recently I have gotten scared and overwhelmed. So it is confusing because I can't understand why I was so elated before and now I'm freaking out. My solution is to run away and elope....but we have so many close and dear friends that we can't leave out....nor do we want to. But I don't want to plan it! And I'm scared to get married because....its just scary. I don't want to leave him. He is my everything (we've been together for 7 years!) So that's not the issue. The issues are: A) I don't want to plan a wedding but I know I have to because we have friends that would be pissed if they were not there and B) I'm freaking out about marriage and the committment and just accepting the fact that you're getting older!!! Anyone relate? Some of you may think its crazy or wrong to have these feelings or that I'm shallow or deceiving....and that's fine....
2007-03-21 09:47:19 · update #1
There's no rule that says you ever have to get married (I think many people do it, merely because it's what's socially acceptable). If your fiance feels the same way, why not just stay together but not get married? Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. If you just don't want to plan a wedding (I'm with you on that one, by the way), then go away and get married, just the two of you. Do things your way - that's the only way you'll be happy.
2007-03-21 07:20:07 · answer #1 · answered by crabbyone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Planning a wedding is a lot of work. Heck even a destination wedding can be a little time consuming, but it can be a lot easier than the bigger events. My cousin and her husband chose a destination wedding, and they were thrilled. It was just the two of them. When they got back we had a nice dinner party/reception for them. When I started planning my wedding, my cousin highly recommended a destination wedding, because I was a wreck! We decided on getting married in a really nice park outside of Vegas, and I am glad we did.
If it is just the idea of planning a wedding that gives you the shudders, I think you really should consider the destination wedding style. If it is marriage in general...you may want to have a long talk with your fiance. Maybe if you two really go over what you both expect, want and do not want, things will be ironed out, and you will become excited again.
2007-03-21 07:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I dated approximately a yr, then we had a youngster. We in which married earlier than the child used to be a yr ancient. This yr we will be able to be married 31 years. And I'm now not going to lie Its a up and down existence you ought to provide and take. When you're competent to simply stop and stroll away, Just dig in that a lot more. You love the now and then and you do not like them plenty of the time. So make certain you're marring any one you'll reside with at all times it doesn't matter what!
2016-09-05 10:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married does not equal having a wedding. You can get married legally without ever having a wedding; it's not wrong, it is all up to you. Your ceremony can be as simple or as elaborate as you, yourself, make it to be. If you want to be legally married without a hassle, just have a courthouse wedding, and then perhaps go on a nice pressure-free honeymoon to celebrate. Or, you can go someplace and elope - many people go to Vegas, but it doesn't have to be Vegas, could be any other place, including an island of your choice.
If you don't want to "be married" - that's a different story, but then you shouldn't be engaged. Be honest with your significant other and let him know that you're happy to stay in the relationship, but you don't want to be married. There's nothing wrong with it. Do what feels right to you. Good luck.
2007-03-21 07:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I'm a little confused. Is it that you don't want to marry your fiancee or you just don't want to have to plan the whole wedding ceremony?
For the first, if you're not sure if he's the one for you, don't do it. You'll only regret it later and you will have spent a lot of money on a wedding just to have it end in divorce soon after.
For the second, you can always hire a wedding planner. They take care of all the details so you don't have to.
Either way, good luck in your decision.
2007-03-21 09:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you not sure you want to get married or are you not sure you want a whole big wedding?
I would try to sort these two things out first, if you sit down and can honetly say that you would be lost without this man in your life, then go get married on the beach somewhere, its obvious you are good candidate for the destination wedding. If you cand see yourself being happy without him then its the actual marriage that you arent into and its time to end things and move on.
I can promise you one thing, when you have met the right man you will never question marriage with him, you may still not want the whole shebang of a white dress and a reception, but you wont waiver on want to be married to him.
Good luck
2007-03-21 08:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's defintely not wrong if it's the way you feel.
I'm not planning a large wedding with my fiance, we want something small and for ourselves, something intimate and personal without all the stress, because our relationship is very anti-stress!
The only thing I plan on doing is having a party/reception/celebration sometime after the wedding ( in the next weeks or so afterward) with all of our family and friends so that we can all celebrate together. This way it's less stress, and the wedding doesn't ruin the wonder that is the begining of a marriage.
2007-03-21 07:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by lovely 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOU REALLY NEED TO TELL YOUR FIANCE THIS i'M SURPRISED YOU SAID YES IF YOU WERE UNSURE.
If you plan to do this just elope get married and then when you come back just have a big dinner reception and dnace with family and friends. Though since this is both your first marriage and he would probably like the whole traditional aspect for family and friends your the ones that are getting married so tell him what you would like to do most guys if they love you more then anything whatever makes you happy were all in.
Congrats and God Bless may you find a resolution to your dilemma.
2007-03-21 09:01:26 · answer #8 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you overwhelmed by wedding plans or do you just not want to get married? You can have a small wedding. You don't have to get married if you don't feel comfortable. Marriage is over-rated anyway and the divorce rate is up 50%.
2007-03-21 09:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by kathy s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mind is telling you it isn't right. Don't go through with something this big unless you feel SURE. You have to stop all this and see if you can't just go back to being a couple who is dating.
It sounds to me like its more than not wanting to plan a big event. Of course you can go to the beach-we are, and so do tons of other couples. It sounds like you're not sure you want to be married, and that's a far more serious problem than not wanting the big ta da.
When my fiance proposed tome, I knew the answer was yes without even having to think about it. I still know the answer is yes, without reservation. You should not marry anyone you have any doubts about at all.
2007-03-21 07:19:03 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋