I am due any day now and I asked my doctor who can I have in the delivery room with me besides my Hubby. I was told 1 person besides my hubby can go. My mom has always been there for my other deliveries from my first marriage. This baby is my hubby's first child and my mother in law's 2nd grand kid. I love my mother and mother in law but I hate to choose between them and possibly hurting their feelings. My mother in law already included herself to go to the hospital and my mom is not aware of this but she says its okay if she stays home and watches my kids while I'm at the ER. But if my mom ever finds out that my mother in law was at the delivery room I know there will be some fights. What should I do?
2007-03-21 07:03:26 · 19 answers · asked by Baby 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Labor and delivery should be what YOU are comfortable with, and with the people YOU want.
Having a kid is tough enough -- if you need the support of your mother, put your foot down and have her in there!
If you're fine with either mother for support, then offer them a compromise -- maybe they could trade off each hour, and see if you get a special exemption from the hospital for the baby's actual moment of arrival so both grandmas get to see it.
If the only way to keep peace is to keep both out, then unfortunately that's what you'll have to do.
Another alternative is to kick out hubby and bring in both moms, but that's probably the worst option of all :-)
2007-03-21 08:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like even though your mother-in-law included herself to come to the hospital, you can still have your mom in the delivery room with you (you ARE the birthing mother after all, and able to make that decision!) and allow your husband's mom to wait outside during the blessed event. Your husband will need someone there to go on coffee (or other) runs for him while he's waiting for you to finally push your child into this world.
2007-03-21 07:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Double check with your doctor again. My mother and I got to be at my cousin's delivery and that also included her mom and husband! They said it was fine and just not to get in their way. Ask your mom what she thinks, after all she is YOUR mom. Worse case scenario just let it be your hubby! I will be having my mom and hubby in there I wouldn't want anyone else! Good luck!
34 weeks, 1 day with my first!
2007-03-21 07:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by Claudia-Elena's Mommy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your mother. Your mother in law is not your mom. I would tell your mom to be there and have the hospital tell your mil that she can not go in. Play stupid and have your mom with you.
Bottom line, you will feel more comfortable with your mother then your mil when you are laying there with legs apart giving birth. There is really no need for your mil to be in the room.
2007-03-21 08:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just have your husband there. Have the grandmas take turns with you while you're in labor, to give hubby breaks, etc, but when it comes time to deliver shoo them both out. Having either of them with you will just breed resentment in the other, and honestly, the midwives, nurses and drs are far more helpful anyway.
2007-03-21 07:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Angela M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have it be just your hubby and you. That's what I did and I LOVED it!
I have 3 kids.
#1- was hubby and mother in law
#2 - was hubby and my mom
#3- just hubby
2007-03-21 07:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hire a labor doula to be with you and your husband, tell BOTH mom and Mom-in-law to stay at your house with the other kids...cooking and cleaning in preparation for your return...they can do more good there than they can in the delivery room.
2007-03-21 07:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by motherhendoulas 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would go with my Mom, this is the only fair way to do it. Besides she even offered to stay with the kids!! This means she is there for you, besides your mother in law already went! Hope all goes well! :)
2007-03-21 07:12:57 · answer #8 · answered by aamc 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to have who you feel the most comfortable with. My hospital let 2 people plus hubby. Maybe if you talk to someone ahead of time, they could both be there.
2007-03-21 07:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Trying♥ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain your situtation to the doctor, they may let you bring both. If that's definately out of the question and you don't want there to be a lot of hard feelings then it should just be you and hubby. Whatever you choose, tell your doctor. He or she will be more than willing to kick anyone out if necessary :o)
Good Luck!
2007-03-21 07:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by kmunis 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋