We've been together 4 years, and it has been mostly great. I think about marriage a lot. But I am someone that needs to move around and be in a place where the outdoors is at my fingertips. She's moved with me twice already. The place I want to move next, I am super excited for, but she has decided she hates it. Neither of us has ever been there; I've based my decision to move there on job market, recreation, and housing cost research. Basically, it's a ski town that hasn't blown up yet, yet also has some urban character and is in the state I want to be in. She says, "let's move anywhere but there." I'm not sure how to respond to her--I've set my mind to going there; I've idealized it to the point where it would cause me great regret to not at least give it a shot. I know I would regret losing her over this, but it's coming close to now or never for us. Neither of us know specifically what we want to do for work--our careers aren't tying us to any particular place. What to do?
2007-03-21 06:32:51 · 6 answers · asked by Drew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its not hard to see that she is obviously tired of moving for you. Give the woman a break already. You say the new place is a ski town. Then why not go there for mini-vacations. You say you've never been there but you want to move there based on some "research". You seem a little flighty. I don't blame her for wanting to stay put. I can almost guarantee you once you move there within a short time you'll be itching to move again. Pick a spot and stick to it.
2007-03-21 06:53:57 · answer #1 · answered by Kimmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is more tired of moving around.
She has her own interests as you have yours. It was bound that you two were going to disagree on a place as people disagree on restaurants. Some like to eat high class while others is perfectly okay at Taco Bell.
She seems to want consistency. You moving around means you are not ready for marriage. You can not up and go whenever you please and blame her for not wanting to go. She wants stability, especially if marriage and possible future kids are being discussed. It is unfair to place the burden on her, thinking it is your way or the highway.
If you choose to leave, you are risking your relationship.
If you choose to leave over the relationship, that means you are far from being ready for marriage or settling down. Allow her to search for someone who doesn't move a lot and wants to settle down.
She knows once that town that "hasn't blown up yet" will "blow up" in population or increase of housing as decrease in job market, you will want to move, yet again.........
Be happy and settle where happy. Not move when something changing as each environment will change.
She might want to stay for school, family, friends, or her own career choice.
You have no right to be upset because she won't move.
You won't grant her own goals and wants to stay.
Can't always be your way.
2007-03-21 06:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she feels like your just dragging her around... and she wondering if it's going to go anywhere. Why don't you pop the question so she knows your serous about your relationship. I won't move until I was engaged.... why should I give up my life until I know that person is serious about the future!?
2007-03-21 06:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to listen to your girl. If she has followed you through 2 moves already and she's still around maybe you should grant her this one request to not move to that particular place. I can almost guarantee a breakup over the fights if she actually follows you to that place.
2007-03-21 06:43:31 · answer #4 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's probaly tired of moving around with you and following you everywhere. Try to consider what she wants
2007-03-21 06:39:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, maybe she's not the one for you. Maybe you should get married before living together.
2007-03-21 06:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋