That is how bored I am! Will def. be choosing a best answer tho.
2007-03-21 06:21:01 · 18 answers · asked by Insomnia 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ok heres a few::
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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
2007-03-21 06:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q.wats between a womans breast when she gets older?....
A.belly button
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Bl0wj0b?
A. Bl0wj0b: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a bl0wj0b.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin?
A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A. We'd eat p*ssy every Thanksgiving.
Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?
A. Love doesn't last forever.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife.
Q. Why do women have small feet?
A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. How do men sort out their laundry?
A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.
Q. What's the difference between a man and ET?
A. ET phoned home.
Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?
A. It doesn't need cleaning.
Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called c*nt scrapes.
Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your c0ck?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.
Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties?
A. Clitty litter
Q. I married Miss Right.
A. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
A. He's smoking a cigarette.
Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A. He worked it out with a pencil.
Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete?
A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving
Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"
Q. What is the cheapest meat?
A. Deer balls, there under a buck.
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
Q. What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?
A. The captains log.
Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A. A lesbian with a hard-on.
Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A. A red headed b*tch with a yeast infection.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for a** holes.
2007-03-21 06:40:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
definite, sexist jokes normalize sexism - tries to cause them to commonplace, poking exciting, etc - each and all of the final rationalizations. you could't rationalize stereotypes, hate, bias, bigotry, contempt. Humor is subjective - it ought to no longer offend all, yet whilst it could offend even some - why use it? Are we so constrained creatively that we cant locate humor in issues different than communities? i think of those jokes are no longer in effortless terms in undesirable style yet teach an absence in originality and creativity. And to the adult men that rationalize sexist humor, how mushy are you with sexist jokes that use adult men? Wouldnt those jokes be seen male-bashing? laptop? Please. The MRAs are doing a extra perfect pastime at censoring and being laptop police than feminists ever have been. Ask them how "commonplace" that's to apply adult men in sexist jokes - I wager you will get diverse answres....hastily, sexism isn't so exciting anymore, is' it? It additionally gets me how ppl think of sexism jokes are ok yet no longer racist jokes. exhibits how plenty females's value is in society.
2016-10-02 12:37:45 · answer #3 · answered by ulberg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day two kids were wandering around near a stream. One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther down stream. The boy who was wandering down stream started to get lonely, so he went to find his other friend. When he got to the bush were his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away. The boy that was here for a long time got curious and ran after him and asked, "Why did you run away."
The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."
2007-03-21 06:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by ilovemychemicalromance_2007 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says.
He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."
Oucccch.
2007-03-21 09:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by Answer Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints! What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Slap her! What do you do if a bird sh!ts on your windscreen? Don't ask her out again!
2007-03-21 06:27:10 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely Witch 25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q: How do you know when a man is lying???
A: His lips are moving!
Q: Why did God give women small feet?
A: So that she could stand closer to the kitchen sink!
2007-03-21 06:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
scientist have discovered that the average penis weighs 8oz but they cant establish the weight of the actual **** so could you hop on the scales and call me back
A girl was granted 2 wishes by a fairy god mother,
she asked for big boobs and tight ****,
the fairy gave her 38DDS and your mobile number
2007-03-21 06:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: why is children's day celebrated on 9 november?
A:because it arrivies 9 months after valentines' day (14 february).
2007-03-21 06:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by blazing_star 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How are women like dog poop? The older they get, the easier they get to pick up!
What do Ford Mustang's and Tampons have in common?
Every p*ssy's got one, lol
2007-03-21 06:24:00 · answer #10 · answered by johnmfsample 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋