Why do People of The West Leave Their Parents in Old age homes when they get old?

Question

Do they forget that when they were youung, their parents cared for them, and when they need it the most, the kids just sorta throw it away...and live with this fact? Why?

Here (In pakistan) There's no such concept.. Older people live with children, and as they get old they get more respected... I don't understand this custom of the west... Please explain

Answer 1

I alos think that sometimes we forget that teh life-expectancy of the elderly in the West is among the highest in the world. While waht the other answers say are true for some people, they ingore a simple medical fact that sometimes a specialized institution can give better care than the adult-child can.

I have no intention of putting y parents in retirement home, however, should misfortune happen that my parents need medical attention and management, I think the best option for the best care would be to entrust my parents to trained professionals.

Also, on a social and psychological level, some people choose tosend their parents to a retirement home because if they were to live with teh child, the parent would spend all day alone. That kind of existence is alienating, lonely, and unhealthy.

There are benefits that derive from retirement homes that other than selfish considerations. These benefits are similar to why people send their children to boarding schools. The social environment, activities, individualized attention, and other such benefits often outwiegh the desire to keep one's parents in their own home.

When the decision to place one's parents in a retirement home is healthy, it benefits everyone invovled.

Answer 2

Individual independence is a very strong value in Western culture.
Sometimes the parents are even more reluctant to live with their children than they would be to live in assisted living facilities.
Western society has also stressed the idea that advanced medical technology should be available at all times. Most people's homes are difficult to equip as well as hospitals are equipped.
Some parents and children simply don't like each other.
That said, it is a shame that parents and children find the difficulties of living together too hard to face.
My folks recently moved 400 miles to be closer to me. We are delighted to be around the corner from each other, and we fully expect that when and if they need more care they will come to live with me.

Answer 3

Well, first there is the difference of "customs". Yes in most cases it is sad, but I've seen older people thrive in retirement/nursing homes. As they get to see other people every day and get their meals and medicines correctly. Most people have to work and cannot take care of their parents like they should be, there's no one at home to do that, as they are working, so that leaves the elderly uncared for. Meaning unable to make their meals, take the correct dose of medicines, clean themselves. Many end up falling and becoming worse off. That's where the retirement/nursing homes come in. It's to help take care of the elderly. While I do agree with you on the children taking care of them, I do see where many cannot do to having to work, or the means to take care of them. I do see where the elderly are "forgotten" once they are in these types of old age homes, but there are those who do benefit from going to them. It's a hard decision. Depending on the illnesses of the elderly, such as strokes, so forth, sometimes it is better for them to be in an "old age home" to be able to get the proper treatment and care.

Answer 4

In the western world, it's more about the quality of life. Rarely can a person afford to provide adequate care for their own children AND their parents. The best solution is to hire professional care for your parents, just as you would your kids. This is the necessity for assisted living homes and nursing homes. The elderly do require a great deal of care and should be cared for well. We are just trying to provide the best care for our aging relatives, not leaving them in old age homes. It would be more detrimental to their health to leave them un-assisted at home 40-50 hours a week while working just to be able to say "My mother/father lives with me".

Answer 5

Not everyone does this. I know for a fact if my mother ever needs a care giver I will be more than willing to do it. She is my mother and I would do anything for her. I feel the same way about my husbands parents. I will not allow my parents to live in a "retirement home". So that is a generalization, not everyone does it. And some parents don't want to "put their kids out" and "be a burden" that is just the way some people think.

Answer 6

It's a cultural distinction, we don't do it in the Middle East either.
I think people in the West have too many other responsibilities, like working, etc, that they think will prevent them from caring for their elderly parents full time.
Also, there is a mindset amongst older people here that to live with anyone is to give up their independence.

Answer 7

Well I'm American Muslim so I understand my Islamic duty to take care of my mother when she is old. Problem is she is not going to be thrilled about going to Saudi Arabia and living there. So that's an issue. But yes most people in America see their old parents as a burden and don't want to take care of them so they stick them in institutions. Some old people have a lot of medical needs and the grown children don't want to deal with that either so that's another reason they get thrown in institutions.

Answer 8

Do not generalize your statements. I am from the west and care for my parents at home. The reason old age homes exists are because some people consider older people to be "useless". I feel sorry for those who have never experienced the love thier parents give to thier grandchildren.

Answer 9

You are making an assumption that it is an easy decision to make. I can assure you it is not.My dad had many complications from diabetes (neurapathy, amputation, vision ,blood pressure etc) resulting in him needing professional nursing care. My dad and mom lived in their home with the assistance of their children and home care.My mom could no longer care for my dad and it was very difficult to place my dad in a nursing home. My mom went to live with my sister.It was a nightmare.There are many reasons that the elderly are placed in nursing homes and it isn't always for convenience as you suggest. My heart still aches just knowing that it was a decision that the doctors even recommended.

Answer 10

I love my g-ma more than anything, but she would nerver want to live with me or my parents. She is in an assisted living facility and she loves it. She is an independant women and wants to be some what on her own, she says it keeps her going, but if anything happens help is a button push away. I think the elderly are some of the smartest people on earth you just have to have the patience to listen.