I am getting married in Sept. to my first love. We have known each other for more than 10 years and we have a 6 year old child. My dilemma is him, his mother and our daughter want me to have another child. My issue is I want to be able to wear the wedding gown I already paid for. I love them all to no end but they just aren't seeming to understand how much this day means to me. I would love to have another child after the wedding or even if we had an oops that was closer to the wwedding date maybe august or something. I wouldn't freak out as much because I would still be able to fit my gown.
How can I explain to them now is not the time to welcome another child into the world. Thank you in advance for all answers.
*Please Keep all rude comments to yourself*
2007-03-21 05:59:48 · 34 answers · asked by ~Skittles~ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm not pregnant now . I'm taking pills that make me sick but I'd rather be sick then pregnant right now.
Severe headaches, and really bad mood swings. I can deal with a 6 yr old and and infant and plan a wedding with NO help. I can't...
2007-03-21 06:09:31 · update #1
Best to do what you feel is right not only for yourself, but your family. They are not ready for another baby until you are ready for another one as they are also part of the raising/experience.
Just explain that at the moment your focus is on the wedding and then afterwards, it will be up to discussion/planning. No time to spent other than that wedding night :)
All in all, it is something you have to let them know truthfuly and ask them to not pressure you. After all, you don't want the pregnancy experienced to of felt like it was pressured than "planned" when ready per say.
2007-03-21 06:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them how you feel. The 6 year old may not understand that Mommy wants to fit in her wedding dress, but you can explain that when the time is right Mommy and Daddy will add a sibling to the family. And as for the fiance and the mother-in-law, they should know that a wedding day and a new baby are wonderful things, but they don't have to happen at the same time! Have your wedding, then try for the baby, then you can enjoy both without added anxiety. :)
2007-03-21 06:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
September isn't that far away. All they have to wait for is getting through spring and summer. I would just say I love you guys very much but this is my body and the only wedding I want to have, we can try for a child after the wedding. Why should you be unhappy for what is supposed to be the best thing to happen to you? You're marrying the man you love. He can wait. You also might want to be careful having an oops before the wedding as you might swell up and look bloated. Remember these wedding pictures will be around forever.
2007-03-21 06:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by Brownie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what his mother wants, dont you just love that crap? As for your daughter, tell her that you wont be having another baby, end of discussion. When she brings it up again tell her that you said you didnt want to hear about another baby until after the wedding. I have an almost 6 year old, I know they can be persistant, but if I keep cutting her off eventually she gets the drift and drops the subject.
My concern is that you say your Pills are making you sick, did you speak to your Dr to have your prescription chnaged? I used to get very bad headaches as well, I just needed a different hormone level. Talk to your Dr, you shouldnt be getting sick from your pills, there are hundereds of choices for pill prescriptions, hardly any Dr gets it right the first time, most women have to change at least once.
2007-03-21 08:23:09 · answer #4 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look at it this way, they can not physically make you pregnant. It is your body and u are in control of it. tell them that having a baby is something you will do after the wedding but you want to enjoy your wedding day without being sick, and be more stressed than you already are. You dont want to be walking down the aisle and get sick. Enjoy your wedding day with as little worries as possible.
2007-03-21 06:35:16 · answer #5 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them what you wrote here!
You really are looking for your one special wedding day when you get to wear that beautiful gown it took you forever to find! You would love to have a child after, but right now is not a good idea.
Besides, you have a lot of wedding planning to do and just can't afford being exhausted and tired all the time. Too much running around to do for all of that!
2007-03-21 06:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well you have absolute control over this. Discuss this with your man, he is the only other one that matters in this by the way. You take the pill or whatever you do on your end and make sure the KNOWS there is no nookie without a condom. If all you are waiting on is after the wedding he can handle that until then. After the wedding all bets are off!
2007-03-21 06:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain it to them just as you explained it to us. You are willing to have another baby, but not right now. Maybe later in the year. What is the rush with them anyway? You have a 6 yr old together, so it isn't like his mom doesn't already have grandkids. I totally understand you wanting to make ur wedding day as perfect as possible, including fitting in your dress. It isn't like you can return it on a whim to get one with some elastic in the waist. Besides, who's to say that trying now would yield a baby immediately? Explain to your hubby-to-be that you are more than willing to go for the gusto on your honeymoon. His mom doesn't have to understand considering she won't be the "father". What really matters is you and your fiance's decision. I am sure he will see it your way easier than his mom will. Good Luck on the wedding and the baby makin! ;-)
2007-03-21 06:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by SWTCHKS925 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not get pregnant until I wanted to, for what ever the reason. I don't think you are selfish or do I think you are just thinking about yourself. It sounds like you have enough on your plate right now with the wedding and the rest of the family. You just need to make them understand that there will be a time for a new baby, but now is just not good for you. I commend you on taking charge and making the decision that is best for you! Congrads and God Bless!!!!
2007-03-21 06:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by ransdoll90 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If talking to them and seeing your point of view is of no use, then I would suggest that you take the pills secretly, at least until you are ready for another. Its a great responsibility to shoulder, having a new baby around, whether the reason be it that you need to fit into the wedding gown or not. Good Luck!!
2007-03-21 06:04:11 · answer #10 · answered by Celia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋