Can anyone help me??

Question

I have this intense fear of people I don't know. I think that everyone is judging me and secretly laughing at me. It has gotten to the point where I can hardly check out in a store because I just panic. I feel like the people are wondering why I am even out in public.

Is this a sign of social anxiety or what? I can act normal around people I know.

Answer 1

Do you have this fear because you're constantly judging and secretly laughing at every person you see? If you are doing that, then the question becomes why you would judge perfect strangers based on appearance only, and try to stop yourself from that habit since as the old saying goes, you can't judge a book by it's cover.

If you aren't judging every person you meet or see, then logic should tell you that they aren't doing it to you either. People do look at other people because it's interesting to observe the people around you. Judging and secretly laughing about what people see is rarely an overriding issue.

Go out and forget about what others may be thinking and just be yourself. The thoughts of strangers around you will never be yours to know, so there's no sense in worrying about what they may be thinking, and frankly, they're probably not really paying much attention to you anyway unless you're a celebrity.

Answer 2

You seem to be very bright because you do recognize that it's not your 'normal' behavior. Also, you have even given your behavior/feelings an appropriate name. I think you're on the right track for getting help. Social Anxiety can be treated but I'm not sure if it's something you can 'fix' by yourself. I, too, have anxiety, a different kind but I definitely know that you're not nuts, and there is help. If you want to try and work on it by yourself there are techniques to try.

1) Write down on 3x5 cards the things that your friends and family like about you. Also write down a short sentence that says something like "I'm ok, I look fine, I talk fine, I do not need the approval of strangers to exist." Carry these cards with you and when you feel the anxiety rising, find a place alone (even if it's the bathroom) and ...

2) Practice deep breathing and focus exercises. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Do this slowly, breathe in & release slowly 10 times. While your doing this, read those cards and your sentence over and over until you have re-programed your mind enough to complete your shopping or event.

3) Do this in short increments and slowly increase the amount of time you're able to be around 'strangers' without being panicked. Don't rush yourself, you're not on a limited time frame, it's ok if it takes awhile.

4) One more thing, really study yourself, your looks, your intelligence, your hygiene, your hairstyle, all of the things that make you unique. Remember, everyone is unique and no-one is 'normal'. However, I know we all want to fall within the 'normal' range, so don't forget to study how you feel about people who aren't within that range. Are you critical, judgmental, rude, or think they shouldn't be out in public? If your answer is no then you should give yourself that same grace that you give to others.

Take care, and if these ideas don't work, check into some type of counselling or group meeting or mentoring group, they will be happy to work with you as you overcome this anxiety.

Answer 3

This does not sound like general shyness, which is a common personality trait. Anxiety is typically the result of completely irrational thoughts, so exercises to build up your confidence may not help. If you are experiencing panic to the point of having panic attacks, you should definitely consult a doctor. It does not necessarily have to be a psychiatrist; a general practitioner or family doctor may be able to help. One common treatment for anxiety is the prescription of a lose dose of Xanax, but your doctor will be able to provide you with more information about treatment options. It should be noted that in people with anxiety, it does not matter if the things they fear are reasonable or actually happening or not. In this case, it is very unlikely that the fears mentioned are rational and that people actually are judging the writer, but anxiety can come from a person's perception of reality and not necessarily what's actually happening.

Answer 4

your probably just shy or suffering from low self esteem and self confidence. you should get over it when your older but if not and it really does become a problem that keeps you from livng a normal, healthy life or begins to make you physically sick then you need to see your doctor and/or a therapist asap to diagnose the cause and provide treatment.

one thing that helps me when i'm in public and insecure is i tell myself "whatever, who cares, thats life, nobody's perfect, and after i leave i will probably never see these people again" 9 times out of 10 its true and even if i do see someone again they've either forgotten, dont care, or didnt know anything about it at all.

think about your own life, how many of the people you come into contact with on a daily basis do you remember, or even care enough to think about afterwards? probably not many. you could have seen hundreds of faces in one day and really only remember a few. well guess what, the same is true for everybody else as far as your concerned. its really not that big of a deal and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll blend in and just be.

the easiest way to draw attention to yourself is by trying NOT to draw attention to yourself.

Answer 5

I think if you are thinking about this as a routine then you need to get some kind of professional help, since whatever anyone says here, it will not change your mind.

There is always a chance that people ARE laughing at you or talking about you, but only if you give them cause, like acting odd or strange in their company...

See someone and get help, BEFORE it gets to be a serious problem. (thats not to say it's not serious to you now, but not leaving the house would mean so much more anxiety for you...)

Good luck though..leave you with this..

If they are laughing or talking about you -
So What?

Answer 6

Oh my ghosh, I have the exact same problem. I feel the same as you...., but don't worry. Nobody's judging you everyone is too busy with their own lives. Personally I find it difficult to walk into a shoe store and get help cuz i'm afraid of the guy who's working there will think i'm a freak, but I learnt since I don't judge ppl, why should I believe they're juding me?...Try to relax

Hope this helped.

Answer 7

Well, I have the life long bug called " Shyness ". I am very shy around people I don't know. I don't panic when I get into a store..I think you are not confident with yourself...You need to build up what we call "Self-Confidece". You think people are judging you and laughing at you because you may think you are ugly or weird or whatever you may think. I am shy because I can't start a conversation with people I don't know. I hoped I have been of help.

Answer 8

I would think you would need professional help for what you have. People today are so on the go between the house, job, and kids that I do not think there would spend time judging or laughing at you since they do not even know you.

Answer 9

Let me tell you something. No one is looking at you or even CARES about you. People are all so absorbed with their OWN selves and lives that they don't even notice you in public. So your worries are for nothing. If you stopped someone on the street and asked them "are you judging me?" they would look at you like you were nuts and walk away. Do you honestly think you are so important that everyone has nothing better to do than to think about you all the time? THAT is the truth.

Answer 10

first you need to ask yourself how do i feel about my self? do you feel pretty? do you have some things about your self that makes you self conscious? people look and stare at people everyday. poeple just check people out to see what stlye their are. hold you head up high and smile and go on about your business. you will not always be around people you know. you social interaction skills. go out to a resturant and eat by yourself and find one person that you dont know and ask them how are they doing and start a conversation. it can be the person sittin beside you, a good friendship may come out of it.