What is it that you are feeling? Do you feel threatened by their relationship, feel that your daughter loves you less, or will forget about you?
Do you continue to give unsolicited advice, even if you have been told it's not welcome.
Are you judgmental?
Is there anything your daughter can say to make you believe that she still loves you, and that she needs you to be loving and supportive more than ever?
2007-03-21 05:48:16 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I've always been close to my daughter, and still am now that she is married. But I recognize that she is an adult and that her closest relationship is RIGHTLY with her husband.
I also find myself frequently praying the "mother-in-law's prayer":
Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand across my mouth."
The last sentence of your question can be easily turned into a statement...and that's the answer. Just say it to the person who needs to hear it.
2007-03-21 06:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm I am guessing you are the daughter in this scenario :)
My daughter is not married (in fact, she is quite young) but I can say from my personal experience in my relationship with MY mother that my marriage didn't change anything.
I still call my mom a few times a week to tell her a funny story or see what her plans are for the weekend. We attend the same church so I see her at least once a week, if not more. We still have a fantastic friendship and I never felt like she was threatened by my relationship with my husband. She loves my husband!
As far as unsolicited advice goes...of course she still gives it! She probably always will! That's just part of being a mom! (and just wait until you have kids...the advice will only grow!)
Take your mom to lunch and tell her how much she means to you. Tell her you love her and appreciate her as a mother and now that you are starting a family of your own, you hope your relationship with your mom will continue to grow into a strong friendship. Tell her how much it means to you that she has been there for you throughout your childhood and how much you appreciate being able to turn to her for support.
It's probably just hard on her, and she probably is a little scared that you might not call as much. Things will work out. It just takes some adjustment time.
2007-03-21 05:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i am answering this from a daughter's perspective.
i have been with my husband overall for about 7 years. I was very distant from my parents because i feel that they did not treat me as an adult when i was younger, therefore i did distance myself from both of my parents negativity.
Now that I am married they realize that I am responsible and I am very self sufficient living on my own. That is all the acknowledgment i ever wanted.
I know they are proud of me.
and i am much more closer now, I call about recipes and to chit-chat, i go visit as often as my schedule allows.
each year we become closer.
I assume once there are grandchildren in the picture that will also play a very big factor in our mother-daughter relationship.
Just be supportive and non-judgmental. Tell your daughter you love her no matter what and that you will always be there for her.
Hope this is helpful.
2007-03-21 06:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by love for art 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a mother, but I am a daughter! And I can tell you that my mom and I actually got closer after I got married and moved away! I call her almost every day and she does the same thing! It didn't make our relationship awkward or anything like that! And instead of her seeing it as "losing a daughter" she "gained a son"! So it all worked out for us! I hope that answers your question a little bit!!
2007-03-21 05:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by krazy_gal04 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was happy for my daughter that she found a good man to be the father of her children and her best friend. I give advice when asked and keep my trap shut when not asked. I know my daughter loves me because she tells me she does and my grand kids do too.
I treat my grown daughters just as I do all my other friends and it works out well.
2007-03-21 05:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am a married daughter and my mom and i have been closer than sense i got married but we where close anyway and if i was not we would still be getting closer as i grew. any advice she knows i don't want to hear she says in a away that i am not going to be mad about like she says" i want to tell you but you wont like it" and i always bite and i say come on i wont get mad- she has me begging to get what ever she's trying to say. plus i act like a kid sometimes with her because i know i can and she wont get mad at me. she is going threw the change right now and it's hard on me because i thought she didn't like me very much but i wrote a letter and now 8 months latter we are still close . she has never been a friend to me she has always been my mom and i like it that way much better
2007-03-21 06:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married and my mom never wants nothing to do with me. She never e-mails me unless I e-mail her first. Even when I e-mail her she takes a week to respond to my e-mail. She hates me for running away and not telling her where I was or what I was doing. Plus I lied to her and freaked her out when I left without a note. My mom doesn't give me advice. She never has and never will.
2007-03-21 06:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have 2 married daughters both with children and they are my best mates i dont feel threatened at all
2007-03-21 05:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by dumplingmuffin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋