Sorry about posting this question again, but there are a lot of things to clarify.
My girlfriend and I are sixteen, and I was fine when she was smoking pot now and then but not as much as this. I think she's to young to be smoking so much right now. I really like her but I want her to change, I smoke pot now and then and that's good enough for me, why does she think she needs more? When I tell her that once a week should be good enough, her excuse is that she wants it more than that.
I'm fine with her smoking it, but for two weeks she did it everyday straight, then I told her to cut down to three times a week which I still didn't like, now she's doing it every other day literaly, I told her I wanted her to do it only once a week and she refuses, what do I do?
2007-03-21 05:29:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
speak to her parents.
2007-03-21 05:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
True change can only happen from within, she'll only slow down on the pot is if she truly wants to. It doesn't sound like she does. It also doesn't help that you smoke it too. I don't care if its now and then once a month or once a year, the fact is you still do it.
Believe me this is how we females or I guess people who need excuses to rationalize things we do, that we know we shouldn't. It'd send her a clearer message if you were to stop all together at least for a while.
Besides you not agreeing with it, you should try to show her that doing it that much is jepoardizing something she cares about --whatever that is-- im sure she's endangering something.
If your thinking [your relationship with her] , please don't give her an ultimatum between you and pot because I don't agree with manipulation or have a problem believeing she would choose some choice pot over you --you really make her sound that way.
All I can say is keep trying and she's gonna have to want that change...you just might have to create the want for her.
2007-03-21 05:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could try taking her out and doing things with her n public so that she doesn't have as many opportunities to do it.
Why exactly don't you want her to smoke so much? You can't really force someone to change, but you could help her when she is ready to change.
If you want to be more effective, you mimght want to explain to her specifically what it is about her smoking that bothers you. Is it her lack of energy or memory loss? Or is it the smell that bothers you?
Again, it's tough to make someone change something just because you want them to...more often than not it has to come to a point where they want to change for themselves. My boyfriend smoked cigaretted for 10 years before he would quit. I would nag him all the time about it, but it did not do any good. It wasn't until he resolved that he wanted to quit, that it was possible for him to do so.
Good luck, and try to put some things in perspective... are you willing to lose this person over something like this? Or are you willing to work with them to find a solution that will work for both of you, on a timeline that you can compromise on?
Hopefully it will work out, but if it doesn't - you are only 16, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea for the both of you, so be glad of that!
2007-03-21 05:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just from reading your question, it appears that you and your girlfriend are having 'control issues'. You did not address the rationale behind the pot smoking for either of you. Do you do it just for fun, or is she doing it for stress relief?
Short of "JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL", I recommend that you engage more often together in activities that leaves you or her no time for drug use. For instance, go to the musuem, or to school functions, or invite her on a church trip. It is crucial in your relationship that you bear in mind that you cannot dictate her usage. You can alleviate it, you can help her manage it, and you can show her that life can be good without it, but you simply cannot give her orders and realistically expect them to be honored.
Her excessive use is not a good sign. She is at a crossroad of her future. She will either back off of the partying and take a long hard look at the woman she wishes to be, or she will be seeking more and more reefer and becoming less and less satisfied with it's results.
Regardless of the path she choses to walk down, you must remember your own future. Don't neglect yourself or compromise your values at her expense.
2007-03-21 05:47:38 · answer #4 · answered by strongriverrat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you kids didn't look what you were getting into, now look what happens to you. Pot, or any illicit drugs, can be addicting, so why on earth did you ever try it??? What you can do now? She needs to be rehabilitated, or her life will GO DOWN THE DRAIN, ether that or she'll be 6 feet under. The first answerer is correct, speak to her parents so that corresponding actions be taken.
2007-03-21 05:37:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
dude seriously you cant mess around with people and their pot. i smoke pot every day and its so relaxing; coming home from my full-time job, just kickin it and getting high. its no different than drinking like a fish, its actually better. you cant tell a stoner to change their smoking habits. you just cant, and you guys are 16. keep it up and shell break up with you. and you do it too, you hypocrite! i saw a foolish man up top saying talk to her parents, dont do that, she'll prob kick your **** and that shite is shady and not cool.
2007-03-21 05:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
my friend is going thru the same thing and i'm on the girls side. If you really like her you should like her for her. You shouldn't tell her not to do it cause she's not going to stop and that doesnt' mean she doesn't love you but you should love her no matter what. don't tell her to cut down. tell her you love her and you just want to look out for her and you would feel better if she didn't do it as much.
2007-03-21 05:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by chedderapples 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hide her phillies, or papers or whatever she uses to smoke from, but at 16 that is alot but I can't throw stones because I have smoked every day since I was 19 and I'm 35
2007-03-21 05:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by Weapon X 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you wont win this one....i was that girl two years ago...just stop saying stuff to her about it and if she truly respects your oppinion and wants to be with you then she will change because she will be able to see your trying to bring out the good in her not change her as a person...right now she just thinks your trying to change her as a person and to her thats not fair....I would approach her and tell her if you respect me and want to be with me you will hear me out. and if you need help or time slowing down then i'll help and i will give you time but if she makes no effort leave her...she's not worth it
2007-03-21 05:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by mare022 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you should do a little research and really get the point across that it is really bad for you to smoke pot that frequently....you should try to cut back too in order to set a good example and lead by example....best of luck
2007-03-21 05:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by ahen411 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
speaking for moms..lol.. you shouldnt smoke pot at all.... its illegal first of all... and second its not good for you.. she must have some major issues for her to want to forget whats going on in her life... I think you should ask her whats going on... and if she NEEDS It she has a problem with it and should seek help.... just because im a mother figure here dont dismiss me.... take care
2007-03-21 05:58:41 · answer #11 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋