Mr. Smith asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company.
"Honey, if I lie, I'll win the case. But then I would have broken an oath sworn on the Holy Bible."
His wife says, "I don't want to advise you to do the wrong thing, but . ."
"But, what?"
"Let me put it this way," his wife explained. "Treat the prosecuting attorney like I treat you in bed."
Puzzled, Mr. Smith asks, "How so?"
Mrs. Smith replies, "Just lie there 'til he goes away."
2007-03-21 05:01:20 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL. That's bad........ the relationship, I mean! LOL.
2007-03-21 11:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a One Week To Save Your Marriage kind of thing.
2007-03-21 05:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by qųěęŋ ŏf ħęãŗţş 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about this one? its not dirty but its funny!
A 4th grade biology teacher is teaching her students. "Humans are the only creatures that studder" she said
"No! My kitten studdered!" a little girl replied
The teacher, knowing kids can have some crazy stories, said,"Why don't you tell us about it?"
"Okay one day, I was playing in the back yard with my kitty and a big scary rottweiler jumped over the fence and barked at my kitty. Then my kitty went "FFFFFFFFF,FFFFFFFFF,FFFFFF." and before he could say "****!!!" the rottweiler ate him!"
2007-03-21 05:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
lmao...humorous Teased old woman protection attorney: what's your age? Little old woman: i'm 86 years old. protection attorney: Will you let us know, on your person words, what befell to you? Little old woman: There i became, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a heat spring night, while a youthful guy comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. protection attorney: did you comprehend him? Little old woman: No, yet he beneficial became friendly. protection attorney: What befell after he sat down beside you? Little old woman: He began to rub my thigh. protection attorney: Did you end him? Little old woman: No, i did no longer end him. protection attorney: Why no longer? Little old woman: It felt good. no one had carried out that on account that my Abner surpassed directly to the full beyond some 30 years in the past. protection attorney: What befell next? Little old woman: He began to rub my breasts. protection attorney: Did you end him then? Little old woman: Hell No, i did no longer end him. protection attorney: Why no longer? Little old woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me experience all alive and excited. i haven't felt that good in years! protection attorney: What befell next? Little old woman: nicely, i became feeling so tremendously spiced that I only unfold my old legs and pronounced to him, only unfold my old legs "Take me, youthful guy, take me!" protection attorney: Did he take you? Little old woman: Hell, no. it incredibly is while he yelled, "April fool!" and that's as quickly as I shot the son of a b***h! seventy 8-year-old guy is going for a actual. All of his checks come again with favourite effects. The physician says, 'invoice, each little thing looks super. How are you doing mentally and emotionally. Are you at peace with God?' invoice replies, 'God and that i are tight. He is familiar with I certainly have undesirable eyesight, so he's fastened it so as quickly as I upward thrust up interior the midst of the night to pass to the bathing room, *poof *!, the sunshine is going on. while i'm carried out, *poof *!, the sunshine is going off.' 'Wow, it incredibly is spectacular,' the physician says. a sprint later interior the day, the physician calls expenses spouse , 'Joan , he says, 'invoice is wonderful yet I had to call you because of the fact i'm in awe of his courting with God. Is it genuine that he gets up in the process the night and *poof *!, the sunshine is going on interior the bathing room, and while he's done, *poof *! the sunshine is going off?' 'OH MY GOD!' Joan exclaims. 'he's pi**ing interior the refrigerator returned!!!!
2016-10-01 06:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
<3 that sucked
2007-03-21 05:25:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell if your girlfriend is too fat?
Pull her panties down to her knees. If her p***y is still in the panties, she's too fat...
2007-03-21 05:18:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet that wifes name was Maw Maw........Good Joke, I will share.......
2007-03-21 05:17:24 · answer #7 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband would be mad to know I laughed at that!!! LOL
2007-03-21 05:05:11 · answer #8 · answered by THE mommy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
cute
2007-03-21 05:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not funny
2007-03-21 05:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by Cleopatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋