jealousy problem?

Question

i figured i'd come here for advice, since i don't think my friends will be good help because they aren't jealous like i am, and maybe someone on here can relate to me. so my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years, and i flip out whenever i think he's checking someone out. even though he doesn't because he knows it hurts my feelings, and i know that, but i still get jealous like "oh you probably think she's hot." i even get mad when he goes to his friends house, which are all GUY friends, just because he'll be with them and not me. i've gotten better with the whole hanging out with friends, i hold my bad feelings in, but we almost broke up the other day because of my jealousy. i'm trying really hard to work on it, but i'm still having the feelings, just holding them in. and i don't want to explode with them all at once to him. does anyone know how to stop feeling jealous, especially when i know i shouldn't be!! thanks, and sorry this is so long haha

Answer 1

Your Jealousy is probably a result of your own low self esteem. Seriously, if its causing problems in your relationship, talk to a councilor.

Answer 2

you can't just make the jealousy go away. What you need to do is realize that you don't own him. You are being possessive to an extreme level. You need to recognize that he is going to do what he wants and there is nothing that you can do to stop him. All that you can do is have a good time with him. If you two are enjoying each other then he won't want to do anything that will jeopardize that. Jealousy only exists as long as you think that it is your job to make sure that he doesn't do anything that you don't like. I'm sure that he does think that some of the girls that he sees are good looking but that doesn't mean that he is going to leave you for them. I'm sure that you have seen guys that you though were good looking, right? You need to check your insecurities and realize that you don't need to gaurd you guy from the world in order to keep him because the right guy for you will want to be with you and only you regardless of what is around him. Everytime that he goes out he always comes back to you, so don't stress yourself. You have no control over his actions. If you keep acting like this he won't need another woman to lure him away because you will push him away. Sorry this is so long, LOL.

Answer 3

You first need to realize that your jealousy does not mean that your boyfriend is doing something wrong. Something has happened in your life that is making you this way. Maybe one of your parents cheated so you don't trust a partner, maybe you were cheated on in the past, maybe a past boyfriend made you feel like you weren't good enough. This is a problem that you need to deal with and seek help for. Go to a therapist. You don't have to tell anyone you are going. A therapist can help you get to the core of why you have jealousy issues.

Answer 4

I feel you girl! My boyfriend and I both flirt with the opposite sex, and it is hard not showing my jealous side, but I don't, because I remember who he loves and spends all of his time with. He wouldn't choose any of those other skanks over me, I have proof of it too!! So my advice to you is, grin and bare it!! Men are men, and we have to let them be that sometimes. If you want any future advice just e-mail me at [e-mail]. I don't mind getting e-mails from you!! I will be glad to help someone else out in the same situation that I am in. We can get better together!! LOL!

Answer 5

alright girl.. i use to be like you... extremely jealous, even for him checking out girls... this was with my first fiance. my second fiance however was the jealous one and i understood how it can tear a relationship apart.

my current bf and i aren't jealous over anything. think of it like this: when he checks out another girl, he's not with her and he's with you... he's with you for a reason... don't let something little like him looking at someone break you up. i'm sure you think other guys are hot.

ease your way into antijealousy by joking with it... if there's a really hot girl he checks out be like "haha, no way in hell would you stand a chance" and if she's notsohot be like "uh i thought you had taste" just joke around with it. and occassionally be like "oh look at him, you would look hot dressed that way" he gets the hint you're checking a guy out but still thinking of him.

email me anytime if you have any questions or need advice: [e-mail]

Answer 6

u are smart to realize u have the problem with ur jealousy so what are u going to do to change it because all u are doing is making everybody else miserable and uncomfortable have u noticed how many times u used I in this question ur thinkin only of ur self not others feelings this could b a second step for u and i will not apologize for being brutally honest here

Answer 7

Jelousy is a product of insecurity. You need to work on your own insecurity in order to stop sabatoging your relationship. Jealousy is an instinctive emotion that arises most commonly in women who do not feel sufficiently worthy to retain affection and respect purely on their own merits. It is often a lack of self-esteem that causes women to attempt to constrain the behaviour of their friends and lovers, when in fact those constraints and the emotions that they represent are far more likely to damage the relationships they are intended to protect. Try saying these affirmations daily. Post them in places where you are reminded of these affirmations. Say them even if you don't feel it.release all fear to God.

*I am strong, and I am confident.

*I have what it takes to make my way in the world.

*I respect and care for myself.

*Judgments from others say more about them than me. I release all critical judgments placed upon me.

*I am able to make decisions, and choose with awareness. I can always choose again.

*I trust the Divine in me.

*I release intimidation.

*Courage flows through me.

*I can stand on my own two feet.

Answer 8

Insecure... I think you are really insecure... WHen we have insecurities about ourselves we worry when we think someone is prettier than us or if our man finds another woman more attractive than us... YOu have to have trust.. I was a little jealous at first but i had to ask myself if i trust him or not.. Either you do or you dont and i do... So with that being said i really dont pay attention to those things b/c iknow he human and i trust him... To help you you should ask yourself if you trust him and if you do try to do and find things that occupy your time that way you are not focusing on him not being there also it keeps your mind from thinking... idle mind is the devil's workshop

Answer 9

Chick, you've got some serious security issues. Before you continue this relationship, you need to really evaluate yourself and find out why you need a man for such a strong security blanket. God forbid if you get married. You're husband won't even be able to work.

Answer 10

you should accept the fact that guys look at other girls many times without even realizing that they do. i'm a victim of that. it's just how we are.
what you need to do is take a day off or something. you know, get your mind off of jealousy and realize that you have a great boyfriend. so he has other chick-friends. what's wrong with that? all guys do.