through a roundabout method, i discovered internet conversations from my partner and someone else of a very sexual nature which in the end basically ended in an affirmative intent to set up a future time to "hook up". this supposed date is still in the future though. my question is... is what i discovered just questionable "flirting" or is it a clear sign that i'm dealing with a cheater, will be cheater???
2007-03-21 04:34:34 · 29 answers · asked by Harvard W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know the answer to this question. A fling within a relationship is cheating. Cyber sex is cheating. He is a cheater or was planning to become a cheater. Is there another way to say he was cheating, I don't think so. Wake up. Now, you have to deal with this betrayal of trust.
2007-03-21 04:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your partner has made a definate move to meet up with this person, they're technically not a "cheater," but they quite obviously will be soon. Overtly sexual conversations, even if over the internet, should not be considered simple flirtation-- they should be considered an incredibly serious attack to your relationship.
I know this will be incredibly difficult, but you need to confront your partner about what you've discovered before he or she further damages your relationship by "hooking up" with this other person. Keep your cool, choose your words wisely, and know that your significant other will likely be angry and in denial. But if you can work through this, you will know that your relationship is worthwhile.
2007-03-21 11:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by janeowyn180 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends. Is your partner actually going to meet that person or is he/she just saying that to keep the person on the other end interested? It all really depends on what you consider to be "cheating." Do you want you partner to flirt on the internet? If not then it could be considered cheating and you should talk to them about it and let them know how you feel. If you don't have a problem with it then it's not cheating. Some people don't even have a problem with their partner going out with other people. It all really depends on what your idea of a relationship is. It's not something that me or anyone else on this sight can tell you.
Obviously you have some problem with the actions because you are questioning them. I would suggest that you bring it to your partner and tell them how you feel. It is clear that they aren't getting something from the relationship because they are trying to get it somewhere else. Whether it is emotional support or just a thrill you should talk and try to figure out if it is something that you can provide or if they are just not the type of person who can be satisfied by one person for long.
2007-03-21 11:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're dealing with a cheater. it's nothing to have that intent, and then for it to fall apart once it should go down, but nonetheless, if the opportunity had went through without a hitch, if someone was a minute earlier or later or some variable been shifted by 3 degrees the deed would have been done. you have your gut feeling; whether or not they actually took it there, sexually, they still have that chemistry between each other and that's still cheating.
2007-03-21 11:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by collard greens with hash browns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question. Would your partner be OK with it if you "intended" to hook up with someone in the future?
Innocent flirting is only innocent if your partner does not get hurt. If your partner construes your act as flirtatious or of an improper sexual nature then to my mind it is unacceptable. Don't forget cheating begins with intent. It does not just happen accidentally.
2007-03-21 11:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by Taharqa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, i think that the intent of someone to have a ongoing friendship/relationship behind your back is the same as them cheating. if you hadn't broken up the hook up that was intended to happen then that the process of them continuing to get together would of happened and you wouldn't of known about it. although its really hard to face it the best thing to do is let your partner go or else they better have a really good reason for you not to move on. its really hard because we denie the facts to try to continue our healthy relationship but how healthy or happy can the other person be if there looking for another partner.
2007-03-21 11:45:23 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your partner has set a time to actually "hook up" with this other person then I'd say it is just as bad as cheating. They may not have done the deed yet, but in their minds they have and obviously want to. I'd question them about it. If they get annoyed about you spying on them or something then just tell them that it's a good job you did and tell them not to change the subject. They're in the wrong, not you.
2007-03-21 11:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...the internet thing is a precarious one...i am a guy, and actually was on internet dating sites, even though engaged to my fiance whom i will say, i love very much....bt in difficult times, i somehow felt that when i wasnt getting much attention at home, that i could get flirty with a girl on the internet. i never hooked up with any of them though i talked to them like some day in the future we might meet...and sooner or later things got better at home, and i just stopped doin it...i was caught a time or two doin it as well...and it was very embarassing and enlightening...
but if your guy axctuallt set a date and time, that cetainly points to a more severe case...i would say he might have been trying to do a lil more than some simple flirting...
2007-03-21 11:48:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are a cheater or if you think they are it doesn't matter. Both circumstances acheive the same doubt in you. Look at what else they do in the relationship that supports that doubt. Life is too short to stay with a cheater.
2007-03-21 11:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hunny you have busted the slimy basterd..... Just cuz it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that he hasn't betrayed you and oviously he is planning on it or leading someone else to believe that he will.
If you want to play dirty I suggest getting back into that and e-mailing that woman back and letting her know that he has (or had whatever the case may be now) a girlfriend and apparently he is a cheating bastard..... Just so she knows and that will most likely ruin it for him to.
Bottom line I would leave him in a second!
2007-03-21 11:45:34 · answer #10 · answered by Ali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋