The ex wife tells my stepson i can't watch him, and talks about my husband and i in a negative way. i make a point NOT to talk bad about her infront of my stepson so i won't be "talking bad about mommy" but it is causing tension with my husband and i. i feel he should say something to her, but he doesnt want to cause conflict or risk not seeing his son. anything i can do?
2007-03-21 04:22:26 · 13 answers · asked by knnygrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i am not the reason they broke up. she left him. she cheated on him. ive known him since 1st grade, but we reconnected about 2 years ago. AFTER he divorced his ex.
2007-03-21 06:23:51 · update #1
As hard as it is, don't focus on your hurt feelings and focus on what is best for the child. For you to try to step in to talk to the ex-wife is only going to fuel her fire and she may even feel like you are trying to take her son away from her (if he dumped her, she may already feel like you took her man away...to tell her to "move on" and "he chose me over you" is only going to create/intensify competitive feelings and is asking for trouble, and may even turn your husband against you for shoving it in her face). Only your current hubby should deal with problems with his ex directly.
Continue to take the high road and don't talk about her at all in front of your stepson. Continue to encourage your husband to have a talk with his ex-wife as her talking bad about the two of you could damage the child's self-esteem; a child is part of both parents and to be told or convinced that either one of them is "bad" is to essentially be telling the child himself is "bad" because he is part of both of them and could cause a lot of problems in his teen years.
2007-03-21 04:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u are the reason they broke up this is the price u pay if not u can only tell the truth when faced with a negative kids aren't stupid dont allow her to control the situation the tension is there because of all the negative forces and this is NOT good or the child hes in the middle and hes feeling like its all his fault maybe u 3 adults need to sit down together and work this out like adults and let him know hes the most important thing
2007-03-21 04:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by mmbmw2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your husband won't step up and be a man, you need to tell her that if she has a problem with you then she should be a woman and tell you and not everyone else. Let her know that her ex has moved on and she do the same. Tell her if she was all that the your husband would have stayed with her. Jealousy makes exes do crazy things but it terrible when kids are involved. If you stepson doesn't have a problem with you then it's all good. Good luck.
2007-03-21 04:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by Italionaire 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Stop praying on the bad, the negative. Enjoy the time you and your husband have with his son when he is there and stop listening/concentrating on what ex-wife is saying and doing. You will eventually not care what she says as in the long run, the son will make up his own mind and he will be better off knowing that you and your husband never said anything bad.
2007-03-21 04:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to sit your husband down and explain how hard this is on you.
He needs to try and talk to her. In a mature calm manor. If she doesn't have it or continue to do it seek a lawyer and see if there is anything that can be done.
If she gets nasty and tries to keep her son from you both then you need a lawyer anyways to get custody part/full legally.
She most likely won't grow up. Good Luck
2007-03-21 04:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by colie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a sensitive subject cuz it is regarding his kids and I don't know him but he might take offense to anything you say.
Try talking to him nicely and tell him that it bothers you. Depending on how nasty there mom is maybe you could call and talk to her. Or if the kids complain about it they should tell there mom that they don't like it. Once she relizes she is upsetting her kids she is most likely to stop.
If none of these are an option for you try not to let it bother you. If she doesn't like you that is her problem..... be nice it will drive her NUTS Good Luck hope it works out
2007-03-21 04:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by Ali 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound very mature-I think he needs to make apoint to approach her in the same mature manner.She sounds like one of those that like to have control. She doesn't respect your not talking behind her back to the child. She just plain and simply likes the control- I'm sorry kiddo- I wish I could tell you some wonderful words of wisdom, but these kinds of women are hard to deal with. God Bless and I hope she sees the light.
2007-03-21 04:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't he have a court order that entitles him to see his boy?
Talk to your husband once or twice, and make sure you do this nicely. And then shut up about it. He has to handle things. It could be that he really does feel powerless.
2007-03-21 04:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't let this woman come between you and your husband its simply her way of staying in the mix your right to not talk about her in front of your step-son and as for having hubby talk to her what good would it do?if they had a chance of seeing eye to eye they would still be married right? she wants a reaction don't give it to he and she will get the picture
2007-03-21 04:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by patbgone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to the woman. Put forth the effort to make peace with her. Invite her over or ask her to lunch.
2007-03-21 04:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋