My fiance and I have been together for 2 years now. Recently I have begun to get quite annoyed with a few things. We both have full time jobs and split the costs of everything right down the middle. Somehow it has come to be that I take care of almost everything in our 'household'; paying all of our bills(he pays me back for 1/2 at the end of the month) on time, cleaning the house, cooking, grocery shopping, doing our taxes, cleaning our cars, etc. My guy is a fabulous man and always thanks me for what I do, but sometimes I feel like that is not enough. I feel stupid saying this, but I wish he would be more thoughtful and surprise me with little things. I am always buying him little surprise gifts and cards to show him that I love him. He has never given me flowers or cards or anything. I am a little emotional right now and I know that I am just being a girly girl here, but what do you think?
2007-03-21 04:06:16 · 14 answers · asked by h_nanny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He obviously trusts you, and that's why bill, taxes, etc are somehow your responsibility, but....you should expect thoughtful little things from him, because that's his part of the relationship. If he doesn't think to do these things for you, then tell him cause' if you learn anything before marriage it should be that men by no means can read our minds, and they'll use that excuse....so don't give him the chance. Let him know that you do these things for him because you love him, but where's his love?!? We all are girly girls sometimes....don't feel bad. Just let your man know how you feel....underappreciated, taken for granted and that your not getting enough personal attention. Get these things squared away now, before the wedding so there's no confusion later on what's expected on his part. Men don't mean to but sometimes they just don't get it, and it HAS to be explained! Good Luck, and happy marriage to you!
2007-03-21 04:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by Green eyed girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop buying him little thing to show him you love him!
I have seen this over and over again. People do little things to show they love their significant other and then expect their SO to do the same in return.
It doesn't work that way. Also stop cleaning his car and ask him to do a run at the groceries from time to time... you are not a freaking maid are you? If you act like a 100% maid then you will be treated as such.
I mean it ok to do most of the work but all of the work plus kissing *** buying him gifts and doing other little things and not getting what you want in return.
Bottom line it is your fault for not suggesting those things you want and for Rewarding him via gifts when he was doing what you don't want him to do which is "doing nothing".
2007-03-21 04:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by Willie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being a "girly, girl" in this situation.
But go ahead and tell him what you want now, before you go any further. It's certainly not going to get better on it's own, especially when you're married.
Not to knock your fiance, but he sounds like he's not that generous.
In my opinion, guys should really be thinking and doing little nice things without being told to do so. But I guess all guys are different.
2007-03-21 04:15:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man is who he is, if he's not buying you cards, flowers, etc now it's not going to change with marriage. Best thing you can do as it doesn't sound like you want to leave him or need to leave him, is to talk to him. Guys are not mind readers and he probably just isn't realizing how much you do. Ask him to help you out and what you need him to do. This doesn't mean that after you are done talking to him that he will remember and just go ahead and do these things. You may and probably will need to ask him day to day to do what needs to be done, but its ok as long as he does it and helps you. Be happy with that, don't get upset that he doesn't just do it on his own.
2007-03-21 04:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it wouldn't kill him to do something sweet, and spontaneous. One of my man's best friends gave him a book about doing little things for women-I tried tofind it-but can't, ever since he started reading it -he has been a changed man.He's been a different man. He has always been sweet and wonderful but never has the knack of doing this kind of stuff, but he's got it down good now! He surprises me all the time and it's spiced up everything!
2007-03-21 04:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I make a big deal about small things, its not to say it's right. But it means something to me, and I definitely appreciate it so I see where u r coming from and I think u do deserve 2 b treated for what ur worth if not more!!! I had this with my ex, and well I told her, she was good for two days lol It stopped and that was the end of that lol Good luck!
2007-03-21 04:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by Deanos G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 10:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by borja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the two year engagement? You need to address this now before rather then after marriage. Just let him know that things dont appear even to you. It would be nice to get thoughtful things every now and again. I think it just hasnt occured to him.
2007-03-21 04:14:52 · answer #8 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to a long-term relationship. What's happening with you is, unfortunately, common in every relationship. I have been with my husband for 4 years (married 1 year) and it is this same way with us. It's "married life". I suggest you talk to your fiance about how you feel. Keeping it all bottled up inside certainly isn't going to help your relationship.
2007-03-21 04:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by Hey you! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you act like a doormat,you will get stepped on,he needs sorting out,if you dont do it now,this is the rest of your life...believe me,been there,done that.
2007-03-21 04:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋