I've been with my boyfriend Matt for about four years [since my sophmore year in HS]. I thought we were truly meant to be. He was sweet, kind, caring...and my mom loved him! We had so much in common, too. We liked Al Pacino movies, spicey mexican food, greasy pizza, and Dane Cook. However, Matt was a heavy partier and I wasn't. Maybe three fridays out of the month, he and his friends would throw a crazy House party with lots of beer, girls, and insanity. Matt was one to get totally drunk, but he always kept it together and never even so much as looked at another girl. But, two weeks ago at this one particular party, Matt certainly noticed another girl while completely intoxicated. Matt ended up hooking up with this girl and spent the night at his friend's house. The next day, he came home and told me what happened. He swore up and down that he had no control over his actions and that it was a mistake.
My pride tells me to get rid of him. But, I've been with him for years! Keep him?
2007-03-21 04:03:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He had a choice and he chose to cheat. He cant get out of being a cheater because he was drinking. If that were the case then you should tell him he is not allowed to drink anymore to avoid this from happening again. If you think you can get over this with or without therapy then stay and work it out. Cheating is a bad thing.
2007-03-21 04:09:45 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to see what was the reason that made him come home and tell you about his cheating with another girl. Was it because he did not come home all night and he needed to explain or was it because he was sorry and felt obligated to tell you? If it was because he was sorry, then I would say he did not intend for it to happen and felt bad when it did. Although, I do feel in this situation the problem is more of his desire to always party and drink in excess amounts, enough to get intoxicated. Because of this, I feel if you stay with him, you do run the risk of it happening again. Being intoxicated is not an excuse for cheating, but it can lead a person to do things he normally would not have done. Drinking and partying is the problem here. You need to really look at what your life with him will be like if you do decide to stay with him. His heart might have been in the right place when he told you, but his partying and drinking override a promise of trust and commitment. Alcohol, other girls, set up a stage for temptation to cheat.
2007-03-21 05:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the party life style is who he is then I'd say dump him because this is sure to happen again maybe not anytime soon but eventually after things settle down with you two he'll most likely do it again, the only way I would say to stay with him is to tell him to cut the partying down to a minimum or if not cut the partying at least cut off the drinking, which is the reason why He cheated on you in the first place, Give him some credit though at least he did tell you which means he does care about you and probably felt bad. but give him the ultimatum either cut off the drinking or your gone, If he truly loves you he'll do whatever it takes to keep you in his life.
2007-03-21 04:14:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
typical men
consider:
1. he gave u his word, can u usually trust it
2. do u no the girl? get her story...even if u no it will be ugly
3. ask matt to give up partying for a cuple of weeks
4. just talk 2 him, get the whole story
5. the way to tell if you love some one as much as u think u do ask urself this question: do u luv him enof to let him go?
6. if u do then tell him so. say if after all this time he really wants to leave you then he can start walking (dont wait for a reply to walk away)
7. if he still swears that ur the only one he loves then believe it for heaven's sake!!!!
NONE OF THIS SHOULD BE OVER THE PHONE AND OR ANY OTHER ELECTRONICLE DIVICE IT SHOULD ALL BE IN PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-21 04:13:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has betrayed your trust, but he had so much respect for you that he came and owned up immediately, that should tell you alot. I know drink is no excuse for what he id but he does sound truly sorry if he could come and tell you to your face that he is an *** for doing that. Don't throw 4 years away on a mistake if he is truly sorry try and work it out, this could be somthing that will make ye stronger than you ever imagined. Right now he needs to prove to you that you can trust him, compromsie and work hard at it and i hope it pays off ...good luck..x
2007-03-21 04:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him and do you think you will be able to trust him again?
Every relationship needs trust or you will drive yourself crazy worrying all the time!
Oh and another thing he had control and don't believe other wise he went to the party and he choose to have sex with that girl personally the fact that he is not owning up to it would bother me.
In the end its up to you figure out how you feel and if you can forgive him and trust him again.
2007-03-21 04:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by Ali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay. i such as you to stay, CareBears have an exceedingly superb azzes. don't comprehend if i'm a perv or no longer. yet i like CareBear butts. yet you're additionally a marvelous questioner and answerer, humorous and have lovable avatar. besides the actuality which you're able to become a guy interior the basement. or a woman in an place of work cubicle. Edit: "The an" is a appropriate grammar, yet I wronged it.
2016-10-01 06:42:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go with what you heart is telling you . Yeah maybe he didn't have control over it but his friends could had stopped him so just go with what you heart tells you . I had to do the same thing i'am telling you i had been with my boyfriend since freshman year till about junior year when i found out he had cheated on me so i went with my heart and dumped him.
2007-03-21 04:10:22 · answer #8 · answered by somebodyssexygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats tough... maybe he should cut down on partying and stuff.. personally, i think you should give him a chance.. he told you about it and probably feels really awful about it. only you can really answer that tho. its all up to how YOU feel. have a long talk with him and let him know how you feel about it
2007-03-21 04:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and find out if he is truley sorry.
2007-03-21 04:18:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋