Last year, I got online and emailed a whole bunch of old classmates. One of them, emails me back and says I was the love of his life, he thought of me often, and how we would have gotten married if we had gotten together. He was never my boyfriend. He kissed me a few times. But mainly back then, we were friends. But I was in love with him. I told him in the end, before he left to join the military. But it was too late. He pushed me away. He said he remembers that night and how terrible he felt that he did that to me but he was hurt. When i told him how much I cared for him as well, he changed his story and said all we can be is friends. okay, then why when I tell him i will be in his area and we can meet for drinks as friends, he says he is too busy? He reads my emails sometimes 6-10 times over and over before replying. Is he in love with me but afraid of his feelings? He is currently living with someone who he says is not the love of her life. But now he denies that too.
2007-03-21 03:47:26 · 24 answers · asked by monalisa79 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His feelings are in a mess all together. You both need to decide, without "playing volleyball," what, if anything, you need and / or want from each other. Until you both get "off the hamster wheel," this won't stop.
2007-03-21 03:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remember the first "love of my life". Not that I've had more than the one, but I don't want to count out that I will find someone better.
The way I felt when she first rejected me, was crushed. It was terrible and I never wanted to feel that way again. Heartbreak can be like that, I'm sure you know.
We were in college together, and while we did not talk for a while, we still saw each other often enough. The way I felt when I saw her was a mixture of fondness and resentfulness. I found that I cared more for her memory than for her. It was difficult for me to interact with her, but I did when necessary.
I'm not saying this is the same as your situation, but it is never good to dwell on the past. Forget about what was and what might have been because I'm sure neither of you is as you were back then. better to more forward, and I think that's what he's doing, in spite of what he might be feeling.
2007-03-21 03:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by stn1225 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may just be confused, and unable to get into a serious relationship. to many people, fooling around is fun, but they become scared when it comes to be serious. i say let him know that your affections remain his and tell him that you are going to lean back and give him some space to think about you both, and what he wants in a relationship. but slip him a hint that you will only wait so long before your heart breaks and you are driven from him to someone else. that puts a certain urgency on him to make up his mind, but not pressure. or you can simply ask him what is wrong, ask him if he believes you to be ugly, or undesirable. you ask him the right questions and he will let slip bits of the truth. remember love is not easy, it is trial after trial,yet still being willing not to give up or let it tear you both apart.
2007-03-21 04:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by jonathen g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds a little confused, why dont you give him some time to sort stuff out, remeber you and he arent the only ones that would be effected by this. DOnt nag him about it, just tell him you really care about him and give him time, not soo much time that you cant live your life, but enough time so that you can be sure he is either interested or not interested
2007-03-21 03:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by briacass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him alone to sort out his feelings, obviously if he is living with someone he should move out or her and then and only then should you consider having a relationship...he probably doesn't want to meet for drinks scared of what it may lead too or what the other girl would think..but you can't blame him for that. just give him time to figure out what is he going to do about his living arrangements now and since he is denying what he has told you then tell him you are not going to play mind games.
good luck
2007-03-21 03:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by Island Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friendship because of the fact that's the main puzzling to start, domesticate and take care of. Then love, if it occurs to be real and not created from words from a glib moth that under no circumstances applies movements to the words which come out of it!
2016-10-19 06:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the SAME THING.
It could be he is afraid of getting hurt or the possibility of your relationship is too much for him to handle.
I say tell eachother everything because life is too short to be spent "wondering."
Maybe it isn't meant to be. But maybe it is.
He seems confused. Also he is with someone so that has to make it ridiculously hard.
2007-03-21 03:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would agree you are just friends.
If someone is really into you and sure of themselves and their lives, it would be very clear. But relationships aren't always black and white unfortunately.
But if he is constantly pushing you away and knows your feelings, I think you should move on to someone who cares about you as you do for them. (I have seen a friend in your situation and she has moved on to be with a man who loves her and treat her like a queen).
2007-03-21 03:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by Smithie95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm....i would say that it was childhood love and thats all...when people grow up there likes and dislikes change...he may want something different in his life now that he didnt then and you may not be that...but at the same time he may not want to see you because it will bring back all those old feelings...he may just want a simple life with the woman he is with now and leave it at that...he may feel secure and comfortable and that all he wants in life...you did what you could you offered to meet him and now its up to him...see what happens...but im leaning towards more of friends
2007-03-21 03:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants to rekindle what he could of had years ago,and regrets that he didn't.But now he is living with someone and wants to be with you,sounds like he's looking to get laid(no offense).You don't want someone who is already involved with someone else,tell him"when you figure out what you want and when you are single then we can talk!!"
If you don't put you're foot down before you start getting involved, you'll be the one to get hurt!!
2007-03-21 03:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋