i'm so not over my ex, what should i do?

Question

ok so heres the deal. my ex when off to university making our relationship impossible so we split up, this was months ago and i'm still not over him. I left my boyfriend before him to go out with my ex, so obviously after he left for uni i felt like i had been left with nothing and everything i had done had been pointless.
now i fancy this new guy, hes hot and he likes me also, but i worry that if i go out with him i'll cheat because everytime my ex comes back from uni one thing leads to another...
i really dont know what to do, its all very well people just saying "get over it"but i'm finding it really really difficult because obviously i still have feelings for him.

Answer 1

If one thing keeps leading to another, he is either using you or still loves you. Next time he comes home ask him what's going on. If he still cares go back with him. get a job in his area or enroll in the university if that's possible. Talk to him about being together permanently. If he says no, then you need to completely break it off. Don't see him again. Obviously you are attracted to other guys, so you can go out, but if you're not into being serious with someone else just date casually until you are ready. You have to resolve it one way or another. You'll just be miserable until he tells you it's on or it's over.

Answer 2

Tell this new guy that you're not over your ex and when he comes to town you usually hook up. If you're up front with guys they're very likely to do things your way. If you sleep with this new guy and date him while he knows what may happen 1 of 2 things will happen. 1 you may find that he's the man of your dreams and when your ex comes back you can just say, 'did you expect me to wait forever? hope you're having fun in college.' or, he comes back and you guys hook up again and drag things on longer, the 'new hot guy' is not likely to stick around after that however. Guys are extremely territorial. Expect if you tell this new hot guy that your ex comes back and you fool around when he does not to take the relationship too seriously however, don't be mad at him because in fact neither are you. Expect it. Whenever i started to date women i would always be up front. There was a period in my life where i wasn't over an ex girlfriend, it was hard to tell her that i couldnt be serious about our relationship because i really liked her a lot. But someone you've been with for a long time has some kind of mysterious power over you that you can't control sometimes and it's familiar to you. Which is fine, as long as no one gets hurt along the way. The result of my situation was that i told her i'm single and want to have fun, i also told her that i'm seeing my ex in a few days and she was a bit shocked but also understanding. She told me 'oh great, now i'm even more attracted to you because i know that you're honest, and even faithful to a woman you're not with!' I laughed and we had sex. LOL! never said i was faithful, i knew i'd never get back with my ex so it really didn't matter. Like i said i just wanted to have fun, in my past relationship i wasn't allowed to really go out or do anything. Was terrible, but a completely different story and i'm derailing right now so yeah... i'll sum it up.

? - Not over ex, what should i do?
A - Be honest with not only the new guy, but your ex. Tell them both what you're doing. I'm sure your ex doesn't want to hear details, and i'm sure he's doing the same thing in college. Just let him know that he's losing you, but you're not lost. Maybe he'll do something about it, maybe not.

Answer 3

You have to break off contact completely with your ex. Don't take calls, don't see him when he is home, simply cut him out of your life and you will have the space you need to get over him. You can bet he is having a great time at uni and won't be giving you a second thought so do the same.

Answer 4

You just have to keep your distance and time will get you over him. It's happened to be lots of times and only TIME will do it. Date other people, leave your ex alone when he comes home to visit and you will meet someone even better. And if you don't and 5 years down the line, you still love him, then it was meant to be and go for it. But like I said, you need to give it TIME!

Answer 5

Well he's your ex right? I mean you're not officially together, and who knows he could be hooking up with girls at his university too. So go out with this guy you like, it doesn't mean you have to do anything but go out and have fun. If you still want to hook up with your ex when he comes home, don't get too serious with this new guy you fancy. But try (as hard as it may be) to let go of your feeling for your ex, its for the best.

Answer 6

if u think u will cheat then dont date. u need to develop some hobbies, hang out iwth friends, etc until u are over the guy. dating another guy might break the thoughts about the ex. but u dont need to cheat on him and cause him hurt too

Answer 7

your feelings will always be with you no matter how many days months or Even years have passed what you have to do is get over it girl,go have lots of sex fun with this new guy,remember the first months of a new relationship well this is waiting for you ,go get it , your ex does not love you to him your a quick shag when hes in town you deserve better then this girl go get it and have fun getting,.:-))

Answer 8

Then dont cheat! Make it clear you like to date but your not going to commit. You can see the new guy. When your ex is around your just dating him too. What happened to the good days when we all just dated around and enjoyed life? You dont have to commit to enjoy dating. Just make it dating!!!!

Answer 9

You need time to heal the hurt from your previous relationship, looks to me that you are not ready for another relationship. If you believe that you will cheat, then dont get involved with another person.

Answer 10

In the old days if we were "going steady", we didn't date anyone else. So are you looking for a life long marriage partner? If so only "go with" one guy at a time!