I was around some of my guys friends and he said somethin really stupid. And when he says somethin stupid or he starts to whine alot i tell him stop bein so gay. And my gay friend was around and he got offended and stormed out the room. Should i appolgize? I didnt mean anything towards him, ive just been sayin it for so long and other people know what i mean when i say it. I dont feel like i should. Do any of u know what i mean when i or others say the word gay in a sentence not refering to gay people?
2007-03-21 03:22:52 · 18 answers · asked by gurllucky7 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
People get their feelings hurt too easy, if we said everything politically correct we wouldn't be able to talk at all everything offends someone. So if you picked on your straight friend and and called him gay for whining and your gay friend stormed off and started to whine wouldn't that just prove your point that your straight friend was acting gay? I think so. My black friends call me cracker because I'm white you don't see me getting offended or crying in the corner or bringing on lawsuits, it's all in how someone means something, I don't think your comment was loaded with any bad intentions. I think the whole situation is gay if you ask me.
2007-03-21 03:47:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I know the word can be used in the way you used it. But you can't simply use the defense that you didn't mean it in a bad way. To some people, the fact that you are using "gay" to mean that something is stupid is hurtful because it is a word they use to identify themselves. Imagine, for example, if someone decided that your name was going to mean stupid. And everytime something was stupid they said "Stop being (your name)" It might get on your nerves after awhile.
Using the word "gay" the way you used it can be very hurtful to people. I have gay friends who don't care that I use it that way but I know that not everyone feels that way so I'm careful to only use it when I'm around people who won't care. If you're in public you should be careful saying things like that or you will find yourself in this situation often. You owe your friend an apology.
2007-03-21 03:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by Vivita 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Personally I think you should apologize. I think the reason that your gay friend was offended was because you were equating stupid and whiny behaviour as being gay so basically you were saying that all gays are stupid and whiny. Some insensitive people will agree with that. I don't. If you want to keep this person as a friend then you may want to rethink the way you use certain words.
2007-03-21 03:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally a society or social group will absorb terms that had at one point an entirely different meaning. A good example is the term gay. It had meant that a man was into men; now however it can also mean that a person is lame.
I recommend that you apologize to your gay friend and explain that the term had become ingrained upon you without even knowing it. That you never meant disrespect and will attempt to alter this habit.
Later days!
2007-03-21 03:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by You Ask & I Answer!!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should apologize for using such a word in a negative way, which is what you obviously intended.
"Gay" refers to gay people in this day and age - just check the dictionary. You really didn't mean "joyous and carefree," now, did you? I didn't think so.
It doesn't matter that "other people" have said such things. You did, and you were rude.
I would hope that your apology:
1) is sincere, and
2) would include the statement that you have removed "gay" as a pejorative adjective from your limited vocabulary.
2007-03-21 05:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should apologize and tell him you didn't mean to hurt his feelings. We have developed the word gay into a different slang meaning, dumb, or stupid, and you were not using it in the proper meaning, such as happy or liking the same sex. Still using it in anyway but happy could have been very hurtful to someone sensitive in that area. Just explain and be more careful around him.
2007-03-21 04:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by Firefly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand the context in which you are using the word, however you should consider the feelings of your gay friend. An apology to your gay friend would not be out of line...
"I'm sorry if I offended you by saying 'gay'. It was not meant to be inappropriate towards you, and I will try to restrain myself from using it in the future." or something similar might work.
Good Luck
2007-03-21 05:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by xooxcable 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well now. You sort of answered the question in your statement. He was whining and complaining and you referred to that type of behavior as "gay". Well that kind of slags your gay friend, doesn't it? Is he whiny and complaining?
You probably need to apologize. You didn't do it maliciously but their feelings were hurt. Make up. Friends are worth it.
2007-03-21 03:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff F 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that u are using that word to mean ether stupid or lame but still I think u should apologize to this gay friend of yours and explain to him u were using this is slang.
2007-03-21 05:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the word gay has, in some circles, is being used as a derrogatory word such as the N word, or any other slur.
To me it boils down to referring to someone's sexuality (nobody's business), or perceived mannerisms, We would not say "Oh, he is so hetero".
I suggest you talk with your friend as this is a very sensitive issue to him. Think about not using this word as a demeaning slur in the future.
Being gay is not demeaning or negative, it is being a human.
Try being more creative, there are thousands of words in our language.
2007-03-21 06:02:58 · answer #10 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋