my daughter has been married to an italian boy for four years now. she had two children and he has one [who he has custodity of] . his family only sends presents to his daughter and ignores my daughters children.yesterday she got another package for the step daughter. we have always treated all the children like our own. infact grandpa spends more time with destiny [step child] than her father does. they grandpa[snow] and destiny have a garden together, they go fishing he reads her books to her she reads to him. needless to say we are fair . but yesterday i called his parents and told them this is unfair and family does not do this. he went through the roof.and said it wasn't my place. after 4 yrs. and not getting involved in herpersonal life except to listen . i have had it . does a grandma have this right ? do i owe my son in law an apology?
2007-03-21 03:21:54 · 14 answers · asked by Dori S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes you do. its not his fault. and if they are sending gifts, then they apparently are not close enough to come visit. and they may have financial issues and can not afford to do. you choose to do for the step child on your own free will. i see where you are coming from tho, but there is nothing you can do. im sure they are not trying to be unfair, but if they are oh well. just know in your heart that you are a good person and you treat all of them fairly.
2007-03-21 03:28:05 · answer #1 · answered by B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not have called his parents. If anything is said to the paternal grandparents it should be said by your son-in-law and your daughter. You do owe your s-i-l an apology.
Your relationships with all the grandchildren sounds excellent and I congratulate you and your husband for treating them all equally. Don't feel the need to compensate for the lack of presents to your daughters children - this could cause bad feelings between the grandchildren.
2007-03-21 10:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Alex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son in law is right it is not your place not your children i understand that it is unfair and i agree with you,you sound like a very caring person and i know your heart was in the right place, but you know you shouldnt have made that call. Apologize to him
2007-03-21 10:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by marc l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that is a tough one. I believe that all children should be treated equally, however, you can't make or not make them do something. Probably the best thing to do is to make the child not feel any less important and secure. Explain even if you have to.
Apology? Yes. You should have spoken to him and try let him handle it (first).
Good Luck.
2007-03-21 10:28:58 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh grandama. u have NO right to get into their own bsns.
YES u def. own him an apology hun. u shouldnt have called his parents to say anything, and if ur daughter b talkin 2u about how his parents treats his daughter better than her kids..have u tho that maybe she is a lil jealous? but anywy. that is not ur pro. its theirs. go and give ur son in law a good apology and DO not intrude in their life anymore.
2007-03-21 10:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by Just_Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a painful situation. As a grandma, I have had to learn to keep my nose out of my children's family affairs. What you could do is when the other grandma sends the one gift, you could get gifts for the other two.
2007-03-21 10:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by kathy s 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
apology?...very grey area...I am thinking more like, you went through the wrong channels to convey a moral issue you all should be dealing with.......You should have talked to your son-in-law and daughter about this issue first, then ask him to convey your opinion to his parents...(Just say, I still stand by what I said as I have all the childrens welfare at heart, I think tho, I could have conveyed my thoughts in a better manner by going through you...will you please raise the issue with your parents as I do not want to cause any rift in the family, rather, I would like to see the family become as they deserve, all equal)......a mouthful I know, but maybe it will just prick your son-in-laws parents conscience or his)!!.........best of luck to you all..........
2007-03-21 10:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by ozzy chik... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think as hard as it is to do a apology is needed.i understand how you feel as a grandmother of 2 one is my biological grandchild and one is not but both are mine in my heart thinking someone is showing a difference in the kids can break your heart and make you mad and 4 years is a long time to hold your tongue but calling his parents might have been the wrong move.i think you might want to try to talk to the son-in-law and tell him from your heart how you feel not another fight just a talk and it might help.
2007-03-21 10:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by patbgone 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you have the right and no, you don't owe him an apology. That's the way I look at it.
You're trying to stand up for all your grandchildren and I think you have every right to do just that.
2007-03-21 10:35:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you don't! You are concerned for the children. There is nothing wrong with that. Grandma has a right to voice concern for her grandchildren even if that means some smashed toes.
2007-03-21 10:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋