FUn THOUGHTs...??

Question

FUN THOUGHTS
1. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. I doubt, therefore I might be.
4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
6. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
7. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
8. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
11. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
12. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
13. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

WHAT SOMEONE WANTS IN A MAN

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover

WHAT SOMEONE WANTS IN A MAN REVISED

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Works steady
4. Doesn't nod off while I'm emoting
5. Usually remembers the punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on weekends

A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
1. Never squat with yer spurs on.
2. There's 2 theories to arguin with a woman - neither one works.
3. Don't worry about biting off more than you can chew. your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger 'n you think.
4. If you get to thinkin you're a person of some influence, try orderin somebody elses dog around.
5. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin.
7. Never smack a man who's chewn tabacco.
8. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
9. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
10. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
11. Always drink upstream from the herd.
12. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
13. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look bac

back now and then to make sure it's still there.
14. When you're throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it in your pocket.
16. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
17. Finally, NEVER kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day.

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports and either takes music or dance classes.
There is no access to fast food.
Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.
The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done: There is only one TV between them and there is no remote.
The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making four lunches.
They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
The kids vote them off based on performance.
The winner gets to go back to his job.

Answer 1

r u GOD lol u no everythin!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

How do you draw a sparkling??? ---basically stare on the paper and picture u are drawing Can fat peolpe go skinny dipping??? ----definite yet its frightening Why do your ft scent yet your nostril runs??? ---they have diverse personalities Is a slumbering bull a bulldozer??? ---no its a slumbering bull in case you choke a smurf what shade does it turn??? ---darkish blue then pink How do you realize once you have run out of invisible ink??? ---nicely u can experience it right? so stick ur finger in the tube its in and notice if u experience it would a fly wothout wings be referred to as a stroll??? ---a wingless fly Do veggitarians eat animal crakers??? ---definite...theres no meat in it, right? what's the cost of darkish??? ---it comes slightly slower than mild Do hearses get to apply carpool lanes??? ---it relies upon...

Answer 3

Cool! Im reading these on a school laptop

Answer 4

LOL. This is a great post! LOL.

Thanks for all the laughs!

Answer 5

LMAO. long but totally worth it.

Answer 6

awesome

Answer 7

I love this.

Answer 8

Funny ones lol :)!!

Answer 9

too long...ill read it again if im bored

Answer 10

very good! VERY VERY GOOD!