what is my 6 year olds shcool teaching him?

Question

yesterday I got a call from my son's school informing me that he and one of his friends had plugged a toilet so bad with papper towl that they had to call in a plumber. I talked to him on the phone about it and then he went back to class. When I went to pick him Up I asked his teacher what his Punishment would be.She said that the fact that he had to call me and write a letter to the janitor to say sorry was good enough.I'm sorry What? So I went to talk to the principle and suggest that he do some stuff around the school to make up for it.She told me that that was to harsh and he had already been punished. And that I should not be so anry with him. So when is it not to harsh ? when he and his little buddies break a window because they think it's funny to throw rocks at them? I think his school is sending him the wrong message about this kind of behaviour. What do you as a parent think of this attitude from the school?

I should add that we have punished him at home. It was MY idea that he should do the work at the school.After all it was them that suggested that I was being to harsh to say that he need to do something other than just a note.We feel that this is giving him the wrong idea. As when I as him about it he said that ALL he had to do was say sorry. That in my mind just is not enough.there will come a time {and this is what I want him to learn now} that if he continues with this behaviuor that say sorry will just not cut it.

Answer 1

The school should have been thrilled at the offer of your son doing extra work around the school - but of course then they would have to worry about the "liability" of having "child labor" done and probably have to make him sign a W-2 and pay him. Although I agree the natural consequence of causing extra work for someone else, would be to do some extra work for them... they are definitely sending the wrong message to your son, but yet their hands are tied by policies and labor rules. Good job for parenting him at home - if only all parents would do that, because the school's hands are completely tied when it comes to discipline.

Answer 2

Each school has their own way of punishment. My girls school where I also work they do not deal with misbehavior. I know for a fact that one of our 4th grade boys plugged up the toilet and made it over flow all over the bathroom and out into the hallway. The child was then taken to the office where the parent was called and the Principle had the child do bathroom duty everyday. He had to go in and clean up the bathroom as his punishment. The Parents agreed to it and that is what he got. Also because of his actions the whole 4th grade now has to sign in and out of class to use the bathroom. Time, Date and Name so they know who was in the there if something should happen again.
It sounds as if your sons school is not taking this as a serious issue. The punish you stated is not a punishment to me. It just sends your son and the other child a message saying Hey you just got out of it easy. As a mom of 2 girls I would want them to know what they did wrong and take full responsibility for what they did. I think the school is wrong for their idea of Punishment. They need to take on a better attitude on how what is serious and what is not. Flooding a toilet is a serious matter because someone could have gotten hurt from that! I would talk with your schools PTO and get other parents advice as well!! Good Luck!

Answer 3

I'm on your side! I totally agree that the principal should require more of him. No offence to your son! I bet most of the time he's really well behaved, just got in with the wrong kid. But there aren't enough parents that think like you do. If another child had done that, and the principal had made them do janitorial work, the parents would have been up in arms and all over the news about how horribly the school had treated their little "angel" child. And you know that siad "angel" child is really a demon when he's away from his parents.

The best you can do it make the punishment fit the crime at home. Make him clean the toilets, mop a floor, simple janitorial stuff.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

Hmm, that's interesting. I remember when I was in school, and that wasn't that long ago, the kids who threw snowballs or caused damage had to shovel snow, mop, clean, pick up trash, etc. It was an excellent deterrent!

The thing that bothers me the most about this kind of thing is schools and teachers who are paranoid about damaging "self-esteem" or making the child feel in any wasy embarrassed or put on the spot. It's teaching children that the ramifications for their actions are really no big deal. A sorry letter, big deal. At least you have the sense to instill a little discipline at home as well, since the school system can't be counted on it.

Answer 5

The school imposed a punishment. You punished him at home. He has experienced that actions have consequences.

That being said, I think you had a good suggestion and
I think the principal should have been more willing to work with you. Perhaps she did not want to set a precedent for future disciplinary actions. After all, children should be taught proper behavior at home, and discipline is primarily a parental responsibility.
And don't discount the humilation he probably felt having to write that letter and make a verbal apology. All his peers were witnesses. That is some pretty powerful discipline.

Answer 6

Well, you are the parent. Why should the punishment stop at the school- the responsibility lies with YOU to teach him right from wrong. The school is passing the buck, which is sad, but in the end it is your job to make sure he learns his lesson. There's no rule that says punishment can't continue from school into the home, and he's your child, so punish him in a way you feel is appropriate.

Perhaps what is wrong is not the school's lack of discipline, but the parents trying to place whatis ultimately their own responsibility off on another party.

Answer 7

Though Im not a parent, I do pay taxes so I feel as if I should give my 2 cents worth. Yes, schools should be allowed to punish. APPROPIATLY !!! BUT its the responsibility of the parent(s) to teach their children whats right and whats wrong. So, in your case, I would accept that because of legal fears, this school as with most, if not all other schools will avoid any application of discipline whenever possible therefor its up to you to correct your son.

Answer 8

I would have asked if they could make him clean the bathroom toilets at the school for a week! Seriously! Letting him off easy teaches him that a simple "I'm sorry" is plenty enough to make up for something that expensive! I would have added him cleaning the toilet at home for a week too! He needs to REMEMBER what he did and the punishment for it so that he knows to never do it again!

Answer 9

I think the schools punishment is just fine. He is only 6 years old and I am sure him having to tell you what he did made him worried and now having to address the janitor as well. If he is a good kid otherwise at home and at school don't worry about it so much. Maybe take something away at home for a week or so but don't overdue it. Being caught probably put the fear of God in him already.

Answer 10

I agree with you. The school has to keep standard rules for all kids. If this is your son's first offense, that might be why he's getting off easy.

I don't think it's wrong to punish him at home for something he did at school. Maybe he should help out around the house instead of at school. It's not harsh. Too many parents are getting too soft!