Is it wrong that this is all I want from life?

Question

I'm a 22 year old with a 2:1 degree, I have well paid job with prospects, my own place etc......

But all I'd like to do is settle down, give up work, raise a family and look after my boyfriend! I enjoy the whole domestic thing!

I'm not particularly ambitious and feel that there are more important things in life than a career. Yet, I'm told by my friends who are very ambitious and live for work that I'm wasting myself and that I shouldn't even consider that sort of life until I'm at least 30 - career first etc....

Answer 1

Pfft

Answer 2

Everyone is different. At least you have done the hard part now, and earned yourself a degree. It will have no expiry date, and while some people will strive to develop and further their career, others may be happy to settle down and start a family.

Your degree will always be there, but you have to consider that many people will not go back to work after they have had a family, and others may only go back part-time. I think you should ask yourself whether you will go on in later life, and do something with your degree. I know this may not be what you want now, but wouldn't that mean you have just wasted the last several years at uni trying to achieve it? and what for, if all you want in the first place is to settle down and have a family?

Answer 3

Some people are built to climb the corporate ladder while others are built to stay at home and do housework. Don't worry. It's not wrong. Even if the trend today is to "work-work-work", you don't have to follow it. It isn't mandatory that you have a career. Besides, if you aren't really happy with the whole "career-first" thing, you might get stuck in the rat-race and become incredibly miserable. If you're happy being a housewife, then you should certainly be one. You can focus on the family you're going to have. Just make sure that you're sure about your decision so that you won't regret it afterwards.

You don't have to be a strong and independent career woman to be a good person. What matters is that you do your very best in whatever choice you make. So, if you choose to be a simple housewife, you have to be the best housewife that you can be. You wouldn't be wasting yourself if you put your whole heart into what you're going to do. Good luck.

Answer 4

I agree with you!!!
Ambition is a man made trait which people believe is the right way to go. If you really dont care about money, having the best of the best etc then give up work for something less stressful.
I have enough money to make ends meet, I live in a comfortable home with a small mortgage and have an okay car. I only work 2 days per week and am very happy being a housewife bringing up my 2 kids.
I have been doing this since I was 25! - too late in my book, wished Id done it earlier!

Answer 5

Hey well done for getting a high degree in the first place! I'm at uni right now and am doubting that I'd make it to the end though I'd really love to.

Your friends are probably just worried that you might regret things you cant really do when you've got kids but I completly understand where your coming from cos I too have a boyfriend that I cant wait to settle down with but right now I have to finish uni first before getting to your stage! If thats what you want to do then dont let your friends stop you, in the end if they're really good mates then they should support you and if your boyfriends ready to start a family then I say go for it and good luck!

Answer 6

I would say each to their own, whatever makes you happy, but I would agree with your friends on one point, wait until your a little bit older (not necessarily 30).

Does your boyfriend have a decent paid job and are you in a stable relationship where you both agree that marriage and children are the next step?

Start planning now financially for the time when you are going to give up work, put some away, give yourself another 3-5 years.

Theres nothing wrong in what you want at all, I wish that I could of stayed at home when my children were younger, but sometimes I wish that I was a little older before I had them so that our finances were more stable.

Now my children are 10 & 12 and I find myself a single parent with no financial support from ex whatsoever and I work full-time to provide for the three of us.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with that. Society is brainwashed to believe a good career and/or lots of money means success. But success is all relative to the person. If you would prefer to be a full time mother and give all your attention to your children and husband/boyfriend, instead of dropping your kids off at daycare and fighting for quality time between your job and your other's job, then you would be a success at raising a family. And if that is what you want to do, then you would be able to consider yourself a success.

Other people may want to dedicate their lives to saving an animal, helping those in need or preaching their faith. These are not particularly high paying/high status jobs, but if they are happy pursuing these dreams, then they too are successful.

Follow your heart. It's is more important (and successful) in life to be happy. A high paying/high status job does not equate to happiness in everyone.

Good luck with all of your endeavors.

Answer 8

Surely, this is one of the most common and simplest desires in life to make you happy. Unfortunately, life isn't easy.

Mankind depend on each other. When a service or an item was given by someone, they expect something else in return, like a trade. For example, You make clothes for others, and you want money (or something to a similar value) in return; you need food to survive, so you give some of your earnings to trade in for food.

Thinking about that, it just makes you live by yourself without any community, doesn't it? (Suppose you do, even if it's not true). But, then when you're in danger or in need of other help, who will be there to aide you? The government protects the people, and the people pay taxes in return. This is how civilizations function.

Life is hard--harder for some, and less hard for others. Life is neither all about work or all about fun. There should be a balance between the two in order for one to be satisfied in this life.

Answer 9

It is you life and you have already good qualifications so if you want to settle down early and be a happy housewife then its your life to do what you choose to do.

You have a house degree which is good back up if you do become a desperate housewive and do want to get back into work it sould not be too hard.

If you are going to take the plunge and do it maybe go part time first and see how you like it.

Don't let others judge you it's your life so do what makes you happy but do be prepared for people to think you are been ungreatful and selfish cos they will.

I wish I was so lucky to have such choices

Follow your heart live the dream for as long as it lasts.#

Just make sure that you have a man who will not take you for granted and all should be rosey

Answer 10

People are always imposing their own value judgements on others, its part of what make us human unfortunately.

I would say go for what you want, you may change your mind at some point and have every right to do so.

Dont feel pressured to change what you want because others dont see the sense in it - as long as you see the sense in it and are at peace with your choice (and make sure it is yours and noone elses) .

I beleive that if women have the right to go out to work that they also have the right to be at home with their kids (or men if thats what works for them- tho I beleive that this is more often a female issue)

Being mother can be so underated. I do a part time job where I can pick my kids up from school and am grateful for that opportunity to be there for them - when they were smaller I didnot feel left out or lessof a person becuse I chose to be full time mum. What I did regret is that so many people looked down on my life as if i was ONLY a stay at home mum...I dont know whats more worthy than bring up the next generation!!!!1

You go for what you want - keep checking with yourself and keeping your finger on the pulse and be prepared that you will/may/have the right to change your mind at any time.

Dont be pigeonholed - Its your life

Best of luckx

Answer 11

i dont think your crazy. its not a common thing to think that way these days. its an old thought that is just starting to make a come back. but before you start a family there is nothing wrong with working a few more years and putting some money away. starting a family when u are finacially stable then it will be easier. plus working a part time job on the side wouldnt hurt. this way you will have a little extra money for things as well as keep you in the work field in case u decided when the kids are older to go back to work.