Why is my boyfriend acting so strangely?

Question

I have a beautiful, wonderful boyfriend.....I told him that I had been with women in my past, and now he doesn't seem as serious about me. We purchased an engagement ring 3 months ago, and now he tells me that he doesn't know if he wants to get married. If his change doesn't have to do with my past, I don't know what it could be. He says that I ask for sex too often. He also says that I don't clean the house enough.
HELP! ONLY HEARTFELT, HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE!

Answer 1

I was in that same boat. It just seems like he is a little insecure about himself and the decisions made to be in a marrage. Im sure he loves you dearly, give it a lil time and see where it goes.

Answer 2

You've got yourself a pickle, in Mr Wonderful. He's just out of the house , got away from Mama, just recently? Did you scare the boy? Perhaps too much sex, is any sex? If he wants the house clean, as Mama does it, maybe he should do it. Maybe you should look at him a second time, and a third. Maybe you should hand him the ring, tell him it's too important to trust to insecurity. Let face it, either he'll walk thru fire to marry you, or it won't be enough. It's always nice to have a fiance who's got cold feet. It won't hurt so bad when you are forced to say ADIOS MF.

Answer 3

Oh dear....he is probably worried that you may at any point turn around and have a relationship with a woman again. Remember as a man, he can't compete if you are interested in women, he can only compete against other men. I think you need to sit down with him and have a proper honest discussion. The things he says may not be nice, but you need to hear them now and move on from them, otherwise they will fester and ultimately poison your relationship. Make him his favourite dinner, light some candles, and once he is relaxed ask him what you have done to upset him .. this generally provokes an honest answer eventually even if he skirts around issues to begin with. Be gentle - he's probably quite shocked by your revelation in any event.

Answer 4

We have to forgive people's past. How would feel if he said he had been with other guys in the past ? You would wonder if he would be bi-sexual later on. "You ask for sex too often" that is a guy's dream. "Do not clean" do you live together ? No, that's good, but clean your house, Yes, not so good, you are making it too easy for him, like given a paid for car & free gas, drive the $^%^$# out of it and complain about the color. Look at it like this, you could have been a hooker and been with 100's of guys. Stay straight, ask him to help clean.

Answer 5

It's difficult to know where this is going. I think doubting/questioning whether or not your doing the right thing by getting married is a stage couples go through. I think you should be happy that he's taking the marriage seriously enough that he's thinking about whether or not it is what he really wants.

If he loves you, He loves you and who you are now, not who you were in the past. So, I wouldn't hang on to specific things you've done or said that is causing him to feel this way. I would recommend allowing him to go through whatever he has to go through in order to be sure of what he wants. He needs to come to the point on his own of accepting that, "yes, this girl isn't perfect, but I still love her and still want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I don't care if its right or wrong." (People get hung up on the right or wrong question. You can't ever know if its right or wrong to get married, you can only know if its what you want, or not what you want.)

If you can tough out what he's going through, you'll be happy you did. When he's gotten through it, he'll be at peace with the whole thing, and you'll know he's there because he's committed, and its what he really wants.

Answer 6

Only guessing here but perhaps the commitment he is about to make has just hit home and he has realised that it isn't a game.He may have started complaining as an indirect way to try to get out of the engagment? If he whinges then maybe you will breakup with him thereby sparing him the guilt of responsibility.It probably makes sense in his head. Talk to him, reassure him, he may just be nervous and very bad at dealing with it

Answer 7

i know how he feels, my ex had well...lets say an extensive sexual past (im not saying u do), and it does tend to bother guys, we dont want to know about anyone else you have been with, but by the same token, we are always curious, and we desire to know, but when we find out and its not what we want to hear, you have doubts, wondering if you will ever be enough for her, your best bet is to explain that what ever happened was in your past, and that its the present that matters, your relationship in the here and now, the past cant be changed, all you can do is make sure your future is as good as possible.....goodluck=)

Answer 8

reassure him the past is in the past and that you love him, and ask him where he sees you two going in the future. if he wont put your past behind him then your best to walk away. be honest does he have a point about the house cleaning or is he just using that as an excuse. good luck !

Answer 9

I have also been with women in my past and let my now-husband know this. From the beginning, when we started dating. So it was always out there in the open. The past is the past, it cannot be changed. Just be honest.
If he's holding this against you, then let him go.
Seriously if he is saying he doesn't want to marry you or doesn't know anymore, then cut him loose.
He's not worth it, dear.

Answer 10

It's too late now but a little advice: NEVER discuss past sexual experiences. It only leads to feelings of jealousy and insecurities.

Have you explained to him that you no longer have feelings for anyone (man or woman) but him. Personally, I won't want to be with a girl who's been with other girls but that's just me. Tell him that you really love him and hopefully you guys can move on.

Good luck.