Or is that just being civil? I mean... if you see them up town you stop and talk to them and ask them how they're doing... and if they don't get the hint that you avoid hanging out with them you're nice when they call you at home just to chat...
2007-03-21 02:22:05 · 34 answers · asked by THATgirl 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's a fine line between being civil and being fake. Being civil is running into someone you don't care for out and about and THEY stop YOU and you smile politely, make about a minute's worth of small talk and then excuse yourself. Being civil is being polite but distant on the phone and again excusing yourslef from the conversation in a minute.
Being fake is spotting the person out in public, and YOU approach THEM to say hi, greet them with a big hug and kiss and spend 25 minutes catching up. Being fake is always taking their calls and spending hours on the phone with them chatting about whatever.
There's a line. Being civil is one thing. Being fake is quite another. You just need to find that balance.
2007-03-21 02:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by sylvia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's being civil, then there's being fake. You are carrying it out too far if they think they can call you at home. You should be standoffish enough that they get the message that you would not be one to call at home. I think you've been more fake than civil. Being civil means you aren't openly rude to them, but you don't necessarily go out of your way for them either. Sometimes though, you have to be rude in order to send the message that you're just not interested. If they call you at home, get off the phone as soon as possible. Like, "Sorry, but I'm busy I have to go. Bye". Without letting them get a word in. If they see you in public, avoid making eye contact unless it's impossible. Avoidance is a great tool when you are not crazy about a person. I needed a break from a friend of mine, she drove me crazy always talking poorly of her husband and mother in-law. Both I adored. She has a bit of esteem problem and she wore me down. So I avoided even picking up her calls for awhile. When I saw her public I was "too busy" to talk to her. After a few months, she got the message and left me alone. Since then we have slowly rebuilt the friendship, she is more carefull now not to slam her husband and mother in-law and she finally took some of my advice from long ago. I think not being fake paid off...I was civil - but unapproachable. Hope that helps.
2007-03-21 03:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by daff73 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what? It is being a good person. Is it really necessary to dredge up everything each time you see someone? No. Put on your big-girl panties and move on! A person who did you wrong at some point may have been having a bad day or some other issue. What if you looked past that and spoke to them openly and you find that you have something in common? By harboring feelings, it really does close you off from a potentially rewarding relationship. It takes SOOO much energy to be nasty or work at avoiding someone. Why bother? You feel better about yourself when you are pleasant to others. It really does a great deal towards energizing you for the rest of the day.
2007-03-21 03:02:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff F 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being civil is a lot easier and less time consuming that being hostile or rude. No it is not fake.
If you were bluntly honest and said "hey, I don't like you so don't talk to me". would be v.v. hurtful not to mention the snowball effect (gossip).
If you don't like the person, there is no need to stop and chat, just say hello, wave or whatever and move on.
The chatting indicates an interest in the other person. Since you don't like them, don't encourage more contact.
2007-03-21 06:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends how "nice" you're being. If you're being over-the-top and going out of your way to fake how much you like them, well, then that's being fake. However, if you're just being civil and keeping the conversations short...I don't see a problem. However, if I really didn't like someone I probably would only wave if I saw them around town and pretend to be too busy to stop and talk. If they called, I wouldn't answer the phone.
2007-03-21 03:20:52 · answer #5 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whats wrong with being civil? You may be one of those "I say what I mean, and speak whats on my mind", but personally I think those people have no class. It doesn't take but two minutes to speak to someone even if you don't like them.
You said you see them and stop to talk, don't initiate convo unless they do. It doesn't hurt you to be a nice person, but it hurts other people when you're not.
2007-03-21 02:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by TrixyLoo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. You are being civil. It would be fake if you went behind their backs and laughed or rolled your eyes at them or even told all your other friends, how this loser won't leave you alone. Be nice. It's just the right thing to do.
2007-03-21 02:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by treasureyourself 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just being polite.
Do not initiate the meetings or calls, I mean do not try to show them that you like them if you do not. This is being fake.
If you do not hate them and they didn't really hurt you or your family, then yes, it is being civil and mature to say "hi" to "hi." Handle a short conversation and control your likes and dislikes.
Even a bad peace is better than a good war.
2007-03-21 02:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its only fake if you then turn around and talk badly about that person to other people. There is nothing wrong with a little civility - the world would be a better place if more people would practice it....
2007-03-21 02:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by head_kase13 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not fake, but polite, as long as you aren't seeking them out, and just deal with them nicely when you bump into them in public. No one can be expected to like everyone, but it's nice if we can all act civilized for the most part.
2007-03-21 02:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋