Son--->Father confrontation vs diplomacy?

Question

My dad who's not divorced nor separated from my mother works abroad.And he visits once a year where he would stay for a month.We used to travel and see him on vacations for 6 years (2-3 times a year) but that faded down to none because he said he can't afford it anymore(97 was our last trip).After resigning from his old company and started with a new one(2000) my dad claims that the new company is broke and can't afford paying salaries every months(sometimes he would go for 4 months without sending any income to my mom),and if he sends any,it is barely enough to pay for pile of debt of the past few months.He claims he switched 4 companies since.Yet same old story,no paychecks yet.I did some fact-check and found out he is still working with the same company for 6 years,and that his last claim last month that he had a hugh car accident that cost him money and prevented him from sending my mom any was all a lie, and much more lies.Confront him,or show mercy on a 60 old man living way.

I am 27,I was studying abroad for a while,most of these issues were hidden from me.But I came back 3 months ago for a visit,and seeing the situation my mother is in prevents me from leaving her like that,I can't help financially yet to support her,But I always realized he was doing his job.I have two young brothers who basically are of no help here,but the issue is my mom owns money(food.medicine .etc)my dad is fully away of that and keep promising to send in few weeks,and never does.My mom feels ashamed for letting people lend her money so she can eat and feed my two brother. yet doesn't want to ***** out my dad or anything for their marriage's sake.I know it will be hard to carry on without his support once in a while,but I can't stand still and watch him do nothing.He is not remarried, i checked.But most of the excuses he gave were all false.I am not a brat to talk crap to my dad,but it's a matter of logic and sense here,his family is in need and he does nothing and lie about it.

I know of his wrong doing,although I have enough facts to build my stand when I confront him.I am just scared it will hurt him to realized that I don't have that respect to him anymore.And thats what keeps me from spelling the beans everytime he calls with more promises and excuses. It hurts me to know that he would make up stories and accidents to gain our sympathy, and tell us he is out of money or didn't get pain for months yet.His last episode 2 weeks ago,he claimed he got paid enough to send money for my mom to pay off all the debt,and keep some more for later.He then went on for days that the bank computer was shutdown for days,then that an emergency broke down at work,then just before 1 days where he said he is going staight out in the morning to the bank to wire the ammount he called up and said he got into a huge car accident where he owe money now.The whole situation with the accident's details later on that story didn't add up.And the lie that his phone smashed during that 2

Answer 1

He's no doubt been lying to you for years; how do you know he doesn't have another family where he is? Sounds like it to me. I'd do a little research, find out some facts, then confront him with the truth.

Answer 2

hmmmmmmmmmm

Your real biological Dad or an adopted one?

If he is your Biological Dad, make sure he sends money or have him tacked down for that purpose. They would force him to pay or would put him in jail I think. They (police)would make him pay some portion of what he earns.

He visits only once a year? Your Mom and you must be lonely? Anyone cheating yet? Maybe then it won't last.

If people can't afford something they can't afford it. A sad truth of life. SOmetimes people can borrow money for things are very important though. Food, medical, pain relief, transport, etc. Sometimes its even worth doing that.

That car accident sounds bad , maybe a good reason, if he is telling you lies get rid of him. You don't deserve that with everything else happening.

hmmmmmmm, 6 years at the same company, he must have gotten some nice raises and promotions by now, does he have a fancy title?

Maybe if he loves your Mom he would try to help somehow if he can.

I always approach financial anything with extreme caution. Get details first I figure. If they ask for help, go there and cook a nice a nice meal. See if folks are gambling away all the money, on crack, whatever...........its stupid to throw money into an empty hole. People who have money or even some credit are usually careful. Thats why they still have some.

Anyway if you are starving or something, ask him for some help I think.

Answer 3

a 60 year old man should be old enough to know right from wrong. leaving your mother and younger brothers in this kind of condition is wrong her needs to be held to task for it i would call him or write a letter and send it registered to make sure he gets it stating just what you said here and remind him he is a father and his kids need to know they can count on him.your mom sounds like a very good woman she didn't let you know of her struggles so you could study and do well in school she deserves better from your father and you are lucky to have her.

Answer 4

u dont state youe age or if u are a minor but in order to move beyond the anger and sense of betrayal u feel confront both get everything off your chest dont do it in anger this is the life your parents have chosen for themselves they are your parents once u remove these negative feelings let them out clear the air then u can begin to heal and grow beyond this Good luck and God bless

Answer 5

a million-David. Ric might desire his child to get the insanely large push. two-Stu might more often than not wipe the hoop with Bret. He'd wipe the hoop with anybody. three-Dusty might flip that boy over his knee and whip his ***. four-Ooo... can I have this in a tag staff? Rhodes and Orton vs Rhodes and Orton? Regardless. Randy might more often than not win, as soon as once more, only for the frenzy.