My daughter receives bare bones care from her mother, despite high child support payment, what can I do?

Question

I live in Texas and am a very involved father. I have never had a late child support payment (am overpaid actually), but very concerned about the quality of care my daughter is receiving from her mother. She did not receive her 3 or 4 yr old shots on time (I did not find out til school was starting for Kindergarten), she shows up on Saturday morning with same underwear I sent her to school with on Thursday morning, she seems mal-nourished and does not gain any weight. (Turning 6 in a week and weights 37 lbs - about the same weight for the last year). I know her diet consists of mostly chicken nuggest and french fries from McDonalds while with her mom. On top of all this, she does not enforce a bedtime, has multiple men in the house staying the night, demonstrates poor moral examples. The one thing she does well is shows her a lot of attention. My daughter sees this as love. I've thought about an attorney, child protective services, etc. What do you recommend for my situation?

Answer 1

to everyone, all child support payments are high. todays child support is based upon BOTH parents incomes, thus both parents contribute to the childs support. if one parent isnt working, then the court calculates an income for them (skilled, what they are capable of earning--unskilled, min wage).

if you feel your support is high, use the cs calculator below; just click on your state and fill it in. if it is indeed high, you have the right to request a hearing for review.

about your concerns:
--shots- most childrens shots are late, call any clinic and ask. it doesnt not effect the effectiveness of it, so its no big deal.
--same underwear-maybe the child only has one packs worth (5-7 pair) and she washes all of them all the time. laundry is constant, and no one pays attention to what pair your grab out of the drawer or basket.
--her weight--you have just cause with this concern. i would schedule an appointment with her doctor and take her. you have that right. there may be medical concerns, for she DOES eat.
--schedule--many parents dont have a bedtime schedule for their children, so its no big deal.
--moral values-- her personal life (love life) is none of anyones business. my children walked in on my ex banging his gf (several times) and the court didnt see anything harmful about it... "so what" "it happens" is was what i was told.
--attention for your child--attention for the child IS love. and if your child views it (and feels it) thats all that matters. many parents today work and just shoo them away.

take your child to her doctors. tell them about your concerns for her weight despite the fact she is being fed. ask if there could be kidney problems, thyroid problem, etc. maybe there is already a problem you are not aware of, or maybe they just dont know about it yet. the doctor will let you know if she's healthy or not... sometimes, you cant tell by looking... so a doctor would be able to.

buy her clothing to keep at your house, this will end a lot of arguements about such a petty subject.

your doing a great job by being an involved father, and i honestly wish there were more fathers out there like you. you take the time to be in her life, love her, play with her and make her feel good about herself.

on behalf of single mothers, thank you.

CS CALC; just click on your state and fill it in.
CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/


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Answer 2

WOW, first of all congratulations on being so observant. You may need to contact a lawyer, I would even contact your local child protection agency with your concerns. 37lbs is very petite for her age. I would also take her to an emergency clinic, ( doctors office), and find out if she is, indeed underweight. My goodness, maybe she is vitamin deficient. Poor little thing.My son who is five years old, weighs 47lbs, and he`s tiny. I would get things checked.

Answer 3

Part of me REALLY hopes this is a joke.

37lbs???? She is SEVERELY under weight.
It is very difficult to put weight on my daughter...and even she weighed 45lbs at 6yrs.
She is in danger...contact an attorney immediately.


BTW...to find out the normal weight for a child from 1-6yrs.
multiply age x5 then add+ 17=
age 5= 42lbs
age 6= 47lbs

Answer 4

Call one of them shows in which they help fix family situations maybe.

One of has a Rabbi come, he parks his mobile home in the street and montors the family and makes suggestions till the family dynamic is fixed.

Another one sends a super nanny to make the family function.

Another has trading Moms. If my current wife landed in a situation like that she would straighten it out in like 30 minutes.

She grew up in a situation sort of like that I think.

The poor moral example is the worst part of it in my opinion.

When she grows up and does similar things, and tries desparately to NOT do that, but can't stop anyway. Thats a reason to fix it, even if there isn't any other.

Answer 5

The best thing too do is contact your attorney let him/her know what is going on so that the attorney can get things revised, not only that u can get the mom to pay part of her medical bills. See if your attorney can get u to cover med.,modify your child support & have x cover other bills. Good luck too u .

Answer 6

well that's normally how they do it you can either keep paying, quit paying and go to jail or leave the country! and mail back what you think she should get we all have these choices