push back the wedding date. When I tried to move out yesterday he bargained and pleaded saying I will marry you and I love you etc. I really love him. He is one of the most handsome and fun men I have ever met. But how should I act around his best friend now and how do I get my fiance to marry me sooner ? And why is my fiance acting this way ?
2007-03-21 01:53:56 · 14 answers · asked by Kendra H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're throwing out a lot of different factors there. One part I'd like to focus on, though, is that you say he keeps "lying" about the reasons to push back the wedding date. People usually lie out of a fear of rejection, so I suspect that he may be afraid of how you would react if he said why he really wants to push back the date. That's where you need to get to: an understanding of how he feels, inside, about getting married. Along with "fun" often comes a certain immaturity, and marriage is the antithesis of immaturity. It seems highly likely that he very much fears getting married. You must address this with him in a very serious, sit-down conversation.
I suspect that your fiance bragging about sex is just another symptom of immaturity. Simply act normal around his friend, as though it's no big deal (which, really, it's not). Bargaining and pleading, by the way, is another sign of immaturity: "Mommy, please, buy me that sucker -- if you do, I'll be good the whole ride home!" Like a kid.
I don't think it's wise to marry someone who is so emotionally young. This guy needs to do some growing up in the worst way.
2007-03-21 02:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really have a talk with your fiance. I think that it is rude, disrespectful and degrading for a man talk about his sexual exploits with his friends. That should be private and between the two of you. You should act normal in front of his best friend, he knows, and it's really nothing you can do to erase that from his memory. Act the way you have always acted. It seems that he will marry you, when he feels the time is right. I don't think you should try and rush it. It also seems that your fiance is being childish in his behavior. Before you get married, I think that the both of you should definitely straighten out the situation, because you don't want to bring that problem into your marriage.
2007-03-21 09:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by kiesha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just needs to grow up a little. I would move out, like originally planned. Tell him you love him, you aren't ready to date others but right now you aren't sure if he's the right person for you. You need someone who will keep private things private and someone who will follow through with the wedding.
If he's the right guy for you, he'll come around real quick. But be sweet and nice in the interim, however, getting on with your own life in case he doesn't.
2007-03-21 09:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by Marina D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, I don't like the way this situation sounds at all. You need to be very firm with him and tell him what your expectations are. If he does not respect you enough to keep your bedroom stories between just the two of you, then you have a serious problem. Be careful with this one. Furthermore, I don't know if marriage should be a priority right now. Consider getting your relationship under control first.
2007-03-21 09:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by nikirio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks - sounds like he is using you. Real men don't brag about their personal things with their woman. Find a guy that appreciates you and adores you enough to keep your exploits private.
2007-03-21 09:48:03 · answer #5 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance is a jerk. That is not fair to you. You need to start thinking about yourself. Why would you want to marry someone who keeps disrespecting you? Check yourself and really ask yourself why you want this man so bad. You are a person with feelings. Recognize that!
2007-03-21 08:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Michael b 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to keep his mouth shut about your sex life. Pretend the best friend doesn't know. And set a date for the wedding. If he violates any of these, move on.
2007-03-21 08:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The guy is a a**.
To get him to stop, tell the best friend about him not being able to hold his own, anything embarrassing.
2007-03-21 09:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by rwhz199 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you leave he'll do it. Tell him you can't continue to live off of promises....If you keep going back just because he says "i'll marry you" then he'll keep putting it off. Actions speak much louder than words.
2007-03-21 08:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
what happens in bedroom stays in bedroom... if he brags then he is a childish man and is one of the worst thinsg to do in relationship... tell him that...
2007-03-21 08:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋