Boyfriend hurting feelings-please help!?

Question

My boyfriend and I live together and have a child together and he talks about getting married. Although we got into it about a text message that I accidently sent to the wrong address (needed to talk to somebody) and it went to his box.-Yeah my fault. But im glad that it was addressed. It p***ed him off and we spoke about it but "NOW" he choses NOT to volunteer information not even about his day. Examp: How his day was how "normal" people conversate. I brought up to him how this is no relashionship because he does not conversate. I understand he is p*** about what happened but he always tries to flip things onto it being my fault. He also mentioned that he "NEVER" says that he is sorry and how unless he truly did something that he feels was wrong. I told him how inconsdierate that was of him. He said that he thinks that I think that he is some kind of looser. Well he only works when he feels like it. Im the one pulling the weight. WHAT SHOULD I DO?BTW-My name is on the lea

Answer 1

First of all, whether he is a good apologizer or not, you need to sincerely apologize for going behind his back. I understand the need to talk to someone when you are having relatioship troubles but to him, it was a betrayal. Start with an apology then tell him you would like to be more open with each other. Then, drop it for a bit. Let it sink in for him and for a little while, leave your relationship problems at home.

You said he always tries to flip things onto being our fault. Well, this one is. In the future when something is not your fault just say, we are talking about you not me. But you do need to take responsibilty for your role in things.

he will apologize if he feels he will be forgiven. It's a trial and error thing. Once he says he's sorry, you forgive and drop it. I know it's hard but if you want to hear sorry out of him again, that's what you have to do.

You are both on defense right now. Turn to each other not away. You are not the enemy and neither is he.

Answer 2

Wow Lea...why are you putting up with this controlling behavior? He is just using the text message scenario to justify his bad behavior more. In other words if he can make you feel bad or guilty he can continue to float the way he is. Can't admit he is wrong in an argument? Won't work unless he feels like it..and you have a child together? Where is the commitment? And what is worst is he has shut down the communication venue, which translated means: I am not letting you in, so don't try. He has put up a wide, large, brick wall between you and him. The only thing you can do is decide when enough is enough, but you must consider your child. This atmosphere in your home is certainly not healthy for the child or you. It takes GREAT courage to leave a situation like this. I hope you have a friend or friends you can perhaps turn to. Even if you left, and he promised to change...could it happen if there was no professional help??? Do something drastic my friend and shake this man up.

Answer 3

Well first you two are living together, with a child. Though that probably wasnt the right way to start your life, Im glad you are working at it.
It seems like you are putting all the effort into this relationship, and I would not consider marriage until you two can truely get along and work things out. Yes Love keeps two people together, but so does communication and being faithful.
If you are trying to tell him how you feel, and He doesnt listen or just doesnt care, then maybe you need to reconsider being with him.
Good luck!

Answer 4

it depends on what you text messaged to the other person. If it was something that you shouldn't have sent to another guy then it is obviously your fault and he feels as though the trust between the two of you has been strained. BUT.....if it is nothing of any importance the he is making a bigger thing out of nothing. Tell him to get over it and while you are at it tell him to get his butt up and go to work.

Answer 5

I wonder what the text msg was about....however, it does seem that your boyfriend is acting a lil immature. If you werein the wrong with the text message thing apologize and explain to him the circumstaces surrounding it. Apparerntly, you needed to talk to someone maybe he is mad that you didnt talk to him...ya know. If he still doesnt want to open up like normal people. Dont let the door hit em where the good lord split em.

Answer 6

You don't want to marry a guy like him. You share a child that is OK, but if you become stuck with him it will lead to MORE problems, especially after the marriage. He doesn't seem to care much so why should you. I suggest you move on its best for you in the long run. He will continue to hurt your feelings its so hard to change someone.

Answer 7

Well sending the text message WAS your fault and if you sent it to a guy he has the right to be upset. Tell him he needs to get his act together. You have a kid...can't be playing around

Answer 8

Well to tell you the truth it will be hard for you to earn his trust again. I mean my boyfriend did something to me like that and I was just really mad at him I didn't want to talk to him I just basically thought he was walking everyday to another girls house. It just mad me feel bad. But the best thing you could do is just pull him to the side and talk. Tell him how you feel and talk to him. Don't just sit back trying to figure out what to do. Just make sure you talk to him.

Answer 9

Don't put up with his attitude much longer. These things only will get worse over time.

It's past time for him to grow up and take responsibility for his child.

Answer 10

this question is a rambling mess, what did the text say and was it to another guy? if so he shouldn't be talking to you, he should probably go find a faithful woment that ain't tryin to run around on him, holla