children!!?

Question

my partners brother is 13 and very unhappy at home he wants to come and live with us in Scotland(he lives in England). He was here on holiday last fortnight and didn't want to go home. He is living with his mum just now in very crampped conditions there are 7 people in a 3 bedroom house. He shares a room with his MUM and his 10yr old brother both boys sleep on the floor with no matress. He is fed up with the way he is treated by his mother, 28yr old sister and the lodger. His mum hits him and shouts at him. He told us the other day that he asked if he could live with his dad and was told no coz I will lose all the money I get. His mum got child tax credits through the other day of £250(which she gets weekly) she bought no shopping and said that the money was for the bills. SHE GETS HER RENT AND COUNCIL TAX PAID. the last time the kids got new clothes was lastyear the clothes they do wear have holes in.
What can be done if anything spoke to social services they are not interested help!

We don't care about the financial side we just want him to be happy we have spoken to his mother but she says we are interfiering and it is nothing to do with us then she started on my partners brother saying to the kid that he isn't coming back to see us and that he has no right to say what he wants and can't move out till he is 16 poor kid is terrified and so confused

people keep saying why don't you just take him but we live over the border in a different country and this would be classed as kidnap my partner(who is a man) does have other commitments he has a 3yr old so we also pay for her. She doesn't live in poverty she has a gambling problem plays bandits spending £30 a day and smokes and has a great social life

Answer 1

Get a lawyer or contact child protective services with a concrete complaint, like no food in the fridge, since you speak of pounds I assume you are British and I don't know what you call them there, but I know they exist.
Be careful what you wish for, if he comes to live with you you might find him saying the same things about you, teens have been know to exaggerate and feel put upon at the slightest thing.

Answer 2

Who's your partner - your husband? This woman doesn't sound like a winning mother but she does sound like a poor one. Poverty is something the social services are very familiar with - and they don't make judgements that every poor person can control their level of poverty.
I'm assuming a couple of things: that your partner is not married to you (does he have any plans to marry you?), has a job, and a fairly easy life compared to this woman, his mother, living in cramped conditions. I'm guessing that, not married to you, he has freedom because of his age and lack of legal obligations to you or anyone.
Why wouldn't you rescue the 10 year old from such a situation also? Or give your hard-earned money to some sort of clothes budget to pay to clothe these kids who don't have decent clothing?
You can go to social services as you did and find out that yes, mothers do shout at and hit their children - and some of the time it is abuse but some of the time it is not.
You can keep going to social services. Maybe you will convince them or, more importantly, they will convince you that the reality of being poor is just like this!
Being poor is no crime.
I'm surprised that social services doesn't require at least a mattress on the floor for the boys, though.
You have a partner - that is kind of like a roommate, isn't it? Especially if you are gay (can't tell for your question) and you are offering that situation, because there is more money there, in place of a home with mother and siblinigs. I say, help the woman with her money, find out where it goes, give her money and give the kids clothes, if you care that much. I'm really appalled that you seem so appalled but you would leave the 10 year old behind.

Answer 3

See this angers me, how can social services not be interested???!!!!!!

This poor child is being neglected and something needs to be done, his mother obvioulsy only wants him there so that she can keep claiming money for him, stuff her I say. Make and appointment to go and visit a social worker with your partner and tell them face to face what has been happening and what you want done, if no action is taken then why don't you and your partner take steps to foster this boy and his brother legally that way you both get the money for them and you know that it will be spent on the kids not on other things.

Do the council know that she has a lodger? I think you will find that they don't and if that is the case then tell them also after all this lodger is sleeping in a room that those 2 kids should have.

Did your partner have to put with this treatment also, can the boys father not step in and ask for custody, if he takes it too court and cannot afford to pay he can get help to do this.

Don't just let this go keep trying to help these boys.

Good Luck they are lucky to have someone like you who cares for them

Answer 4

Reading your question is very sad I am 15 years old and i think that your parters brother is very brave i do not think that i would be able to cope in them conditions what you are saying comes under child abuse as im sure you know that would be why you made contact with the local authority i think that it would be a very good thing for your partners brouther to come and stay with you. However i do not think that the mum will let him go due to the money that she is getting i think that it would be a good thing to get back in contact with social servises! Just have another go. It is no wonder why he did not want to go back home i do not blame him. I wish you and your family the best of luck. And i hope that my advise has helped in some way.

Tom

Answer 5

get the childs father involved as he is the only one able to take the child and fight later,. The child is obviously old enough to decided and he does have the right to choose between his mother and father. You need to talk to the dad, if the dad doesnt want him then atleast get him to take the child and go for custody then have him move in after the father has rights to the child...... some people dont deserve to have kids buts also beware that you are not being played!!! being in a relationship with a partner with older kids ive had alsorts made up by the kids about me but instead of kickin off i made an extra effort and hopefully things have settled,,,,, im not sayin he is lying, just that you should be sure before you act upon anything, the mom should be reported for not providing for her kids, if social services wont act shame her!!!! somethings are worth falling out for if it is to save the sanity of kids!!! JUST MAKE SURE YOUR RIGHT FIRST!!!!

Answer 6

Now is a good time to begin suggesting to the lad he can
find stronger family in the Royal Marines, where he can get
better treatment, and learn how to cope with the problems
life brings. He'll soon fill out that uniform doing you and UK
proud. Its a happier ending in growing up than he presently
has but hope of better things can warm a lad's heart. It is a
good escape for now and later. Until then his hardships can
be called soldiering for his Queen and England.

Answer 7

Brother should escape away from his mother and should go to his father without informing mother, as she is not going to give her permission anyway.
As you already said that social service people are not interested, hence above is the only way left.

Answer 8

this is a sad story....the best thing you can do is go to social services and have him watched, he is not getting the attention he needs so this will affect him in years to come....all his mother is bothered about is her money....she's not even thinking about how he feels...go see social services and tell them what he told you...this is not fair on the kid at all...he wants a stable home to live in and all his so called mother is interested in is her benefits....she should get off her **** and get a job...you say social services are not interested...KEEP TRYING....MAKE THEM HEAR YOU....don't give in...keep trying

Answer 9

social services are never any good unless its too late. contact your CAB and keep on at the social services. there is no need for anyone to live like that. tell the lad to talk to someone at his school. they have more influence with the social services. voice your concerns to the school. in the meantime keep inviting the lad up to stay with you during school holidays and let him know you love him. good luck

Answer 10

I don't know what the laws are in Britain, but in the US you get a lawyer and sue for custody citing the deplorable conditions your children are living in. You will probably have to sue for both minor sons. Good Luck.