hi i luv a guy who is 29.i am 21.very recently my mom comitted suicid 4 no reasons. i am d the only daughter.dad is living ONLY 4 me.moms family is helping us. i am in luv wit a guy he is also sincerely in luv wit me.he is doin business he earns little and wit tat he has 2 tak care of his family.he has got many family problems.so i helped him by givin him money and jewels altho he didnt return it.he has mortgaged it and askin 4 money 2 tak back.v ve had sex.even in public he usd 2 giv me sexual pressures(i allowed it too) ours is a family who considers luv marriag as somethin very bad.he threatens me and asks me to tell my dad abt our affair.if i say no 2 him he ll scold me very badly.wen i told him someday i ll go away 4m him he ll star crying and even drinks at times.i kno he luvs me sincerely and me 2. but he always wants me 2 obey him.he is very possesive and he doesn lik guys talkin with me and me chattin.v r somewat financially strong.i think i am cheatin every1 around me help me
2007-03-21 01:17:36 · 15 answers · asked by anjana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
anjana, My heart goes out to you. You MUST take care of yourself first. You are understandably so overwhelmed right now. You need to take one problem at a time. You said your dad lives for you, so go to him, you need each other right now. The loss of your mother is tragic, be with your family, they will love and support you emotionally. This man who you say loves you, I am sorry, he is using you for his own selfish needs, and taking advantage of you when you are so vulnerable. You do not need an uncaring, controlling, abusive man in your life. He is an abuser, you are too confused to see this, but you must stay away from him, and avoid him no matter what he does or says.He is a bully, a real man would never prey on a young woman, like this. You need to get some help, if you could talk to a therapist, you could get yourself together,and realize that this man is harming you, and that love is not what he is showing you at all. God Bless
2007-03-21 01:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is not a solution. I'm sure there was a reason why your mom decided to do so, I bet she regretted it the second she tried it out; i am sure she does not want you to follow her footsteps. Just because your life is currently pretty terrible, doesn't mean that you can let go of it so easily. Things that you want aren't so easy to get hold of.
The guy you love does not seem to be the ideal guy...he is far too pushy and if he loves you, he would want you to be happy and would listen to your orders instead of the opposite. I think that you should get over him and find a new guy instead.
If you're having more problems, maybe you should contact a counsellor or a therapist or sth, or tell your dad or someone else you can trust about your emotions.
Good luck! x
2007-03-21 08:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by hello 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, sounds like u have a lot on your plate! I guess because for your Mom you know what suicide would do your friends and loved ones so that's definitely not a good plan. I think if this guy that u r with really did love you then he wouldn't pressure you into anything that you're not comfortable with - it sounds like he's using a bit of emotional blackmail and that's not cool EVER. At the end of the day if this guy cared about you and loved you the way you think he does then he wouldn't be asking you to do those things and he wouldn't be threatening you and trying to make you "obey" him. to be honest it really doesn't sound like a healthy relationship - I know it's easier said than done but it sounds like you might be better off without this guy - you deserve better :o)
2007-03-21 08:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by ~jinxy~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, u have a future, u should know that. ur live is not something u should wasted like that. u're still young and still have to walk ur future in ahead. dont let ur self damaged by ur family's problem. u are precious! and u deserve the best in ur life. stop doing mistakes and move on! that guy didn't love u at all!! u should realized it. dont give up! make good changes in ur life. decided that u wanna be a great person with a great life, and u can achive it! u didn't need that guy to help u! stop wasted ur life! there are many out there who much much better for u. who wont treat u like an animal. dont think about the problem. think about how u can achive a better life. i really hope u understand that u're in a wrong path. i wish u the best girl. move on! God Bless U.
2007-03-21 08:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by EJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No do not do it suicide is not the answer and your current bf is not ht answer either. If your given your all to him and he's treating you like your noting then you should move on to someone that can treat you right and that can be there for you. Don't let him control you and take every thing from that you have. You been giving him money and this and that and that is how he thanks you. Your better off leaving him
2007-03-21 08:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by T-Money 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is blind, and you need glasses he is using you. He only wants you for sex and money that's why he cries when you say your leaving, and doesn't want other guys looking at you Cut the money off, say there isn't any more and he will be gone before you can turn around. Find you a real man they don't live off of their girlfriend, they get a real job.
2007-03-21 08:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by James B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like Abuse not the Physical kind but the worst sort Mental.
Get rid of the Sponger because it seems like he is using you.
Your only a Kid so you have plenty of time to find somebody who will Love you for yourself and not for what he can Get.
Keep your Head Up and Talk to Dad thats what we are there for
2007-03-21 08:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by ashymojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love you too,
Hey think like this...
I AM ONLY 21!!!!!! HURRAAAAAYY!
I've got alot to live 4 and my dad needs me more
than I need myself. The guy that says he loves me
is very possessive and thats not what I want in LOVE.
Nobody treats people they love like a piece of machinery
and no one that says they love me would threaten to TELL our most deepest affairs and sensuous moments to keep me
YEAH, I AM ONLY 21 and that gives ME time to travel see and visit as much love as I'll ever need until I find that REAL LOVE from the man that treats me like I want him to.
2007-03-21 09:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by manoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously, SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!
seriously, this is just a bad phase in your life, & i PROMISE that everything will get better eventually, just dont commit suicide.
.......the guy you love sounds too posessive & you may want to rethink having a relationship though. the longer you stay in a relationship with him, the worse his bad qualities will get; however, maybe you do really truly love him & are willing to live with the bad things
good luck =] & i am sure things will get better soon
2007-03-21 08:26:21 · answer #9 · answered by maya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move away from this mess for a time so you can think clearly....take a fresh start...I am sponsoring a child and it feels great that I am helping someone else, encourage your father to do charty work.....it makes us stronger and wiser.....you need time off seriously to rethink a better solution....
2007-03-21 08:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by chaminda l 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋