should you smack a child when does it become abuse?

Question

I don't agree with physical punishment in the slightest I think it is just another form of abuse on vulnerable people who are to young to understand and defend themselves

Answer 1

I would generally agree with your statement. However, some parents believe it is the only solution in some rare and severe cases of abhorrent behaviour in adolescents. I can't say for sure, due to inexperience.

Answer 2

Generally, I don't believe in spanking a child for most misbehaviour, but I do think it could have merit in some instances. For example, in some instances a good shock is needed without delay to keep the child from being injured or injuring another, like if the child runs into the street after being told to stay away from it or if the child tries to climb on to the stove. The pain the child would experience if allowed to hurt themselves in this way would be far greater than a spanking. That said, spanking should never be done in anger or as a form of revenge against a misbehaving child, and should not be done with excessive force. One or two open handed smacks to the buttocks is sufficient. Most punishments should involve explaining that the child did wrong followed by time-outs for younger children and removal of priviledges for older children. Children who are spanked excessively tend to become agressive.

Answer 3

I agree. There are other ways to discipline a child. I hate to see someone smack a child in the face or on the head....that is so degrading to a person. A spank should be on the bottom or on the back of the hand but not the face. I always remember being a lot more upset when I got the talking to rather than the spanking. Getting hit only made me angrier. Being talked to made me feel guilty and I learned something from the talks. Hitting children is just not right. Discipline can come in many other forms and be even more effective.

Answer 4

Most parents who smack kids from time to time are not 'horrible' parents. Most love their kids and want the best for them, the intention is not hateful. Some do it because they believe in it as a form of punishment, others do it out of sheer frustration of a situation and others don't know any other way. I think it becomes abusive and concerning when it's done often and/or is severe. I personally don't believe in it as there are other effective ways to deal with negative behaviour. The problem today is that many parents don't know another way or they hear it but are not willing to be the parent and be consistent. It takes a lot of work and patience but I think the result is worthwhile.

Answer 5

I have to say i have a three year old and as standard she is not smacked she is referred to the naughty step and it is always enough to do the trick,,, however i have in the past smacked her, iv'e smacked her out of fear when she has been caught doing something dangerous like playing with the oven or running out the garden without holding myhand (busy road) but ive never smacked her hard enough to even mark her and i wouldnt as i think it is wrong and it is not effective. I have also smacked her if she has hit out at another child...... but can also say it hasnt been affective!!! i really think hitting isnt the right way but sometimes needs must and a smack will do no harm as long as it doesnt mark the child! I think with older kids, being put over my dad's knee with a smacked backside never did me any harm and.... i think its a personal choice within reason.

Answer 6

My friend and I were talking about this the other day with another friend of hers. My friend and I came to the conclusion that smacking is fine when done in moderation ie when a child has done something really badly wrong and needs a bit of discipline. We both smacked our kids when they were growing up and this seems to have instilled good sense of right and wrong into our kids but the other girl does not believe in it and her child is a holy terror who beats and terrorises other kids around him.

I was smacked as a child as were my siblings and we all turned out ok and I would in no way say that we were abused.

A smack on the legs, bottom or the back of the hand should be ok as this is sufficient to let a child know that what it has done is wrong but hitting or slapping with excessive force for no reason on any other part of the body is definitely wrong

Answer 7

I don't think anyone should smack a child, after all what do parents do when a smack stops working??? It leads to beatings and mental scaring on that child, which they will carry around with them for most of their adult lives. 9 out of 10 children go on to live in violent relationships because it is all they know, and the cycle continues. So no!!! you should not smack your child... good old fashioned communication works much better.

Answer 8

I don't think smacking children is a good idea but very ocassionally it may be the only effective way of keeping your child safe from harm....

When I was 8 years old I watched my 2 year old brother run into the road and almost get killed by a truck, luckily my mother grabbed him back in time to stop him from getting hurt. She smacked him because she was frightened he would do it again.

I think sometimes you need to realise that when a child is in danger to the extent that the consequences could be fatal then would you stand there shaking your head saying "ooh...naughty boy, don't do it again...." or back at home sit down and tell them how dangerous the road is? Maybe for some children that would work but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Answer 9

You should never smack a child, and it's always abuse if you do. Adults should remember that they are just that, adults, and children are just that, children. It's up to us to show them the correct way to behave and smacking just shows them that it's ok to hit another person.

I've never had to smack my two children (2 and nearly 4) - they know how much bad behaviour I will tolerate and if they overstep this mark, they go on the naughty step till they agree to behave. They are delightful children and I hope I've taught them to respect other people and this doesn't include hitting anyone else.

Answer 10

Sometimes a tap on the hand with one finger can be helpful but they only have little hands so there is no need to enforce any kind of pressure, just the action of doing that whilst saying "naughty" is enough to chastise a child. Usually the tone of the voice is enough to make the child cry and feel like they have been told off. They think about the naughtiness then.

If you hit a child they do not learn because they think about the pain then and how much they dont like you for doing that.

It doesn't teach them how to deal with people who are bad, it just teaches them to whack people who do things they dont like, which wont work when they grow up.

Answer 11

If a child is deliberately, or persistently doing something that could be hazardous, either to it or someone else, a smack is sometimes the quickest way to stop it.
The problems come when you start to do it out of frustration at not knowing what else to do, or if you do it out of anger & are therefore not in control.
Similarly, it should never be ritualised.
It takes a disciplined person, to be able to instill discipline, & by & large, there are better, & more effective ways of doing it.