Paternity test....and court?

Question

Today I have an appointment with the prosecuting attorneys office--it's an interview... I'm quite nervous about it, even though I really have no reason to be. I know that he is the father of my daughter, I did not have any intercourse with anyone for more than 6 months before I concieved, and have not had any since. It's just that we were broken up about 5 months in to it and he's now demanding a paternity test, even though he's the cheater. He's not asked/wanted to see her. I know this is probably primarily due to the fact that he met someone in August, got married in January. My daughter was born in November. I'm, recently, very saddened that she has no father in her life. And I have decided that if he wants to take part... or see her, I will allow it. I just want to know what has come out of situations like this for other people. Have you had this 'problem' and how did you cope? I'm so scared and my heart is breaking for my daughter.

How could anyone derive from this that I am a 'whore'.


"Some peoples children."

Thanks for the support everyone. *sigh* today's going to be tough.

I would never force him to see her.

Answer 1

My situation is very similar to yours. My daughter's father and I had broken up months prior to my finding out I was pregnant. I was also five months pregnant when I found out and had to let him know. Unfortunately, his first response was for me to have an abortion, which I do not believe in. I, too, had no doubts that he was the father but his request for a paternity test were understandable.

The paternity test came out just as I expected it would but he still has not seen his daughter. She is now 6-1/2 and he pays child support on a regular basis but does not see her at all. The only time he's ever laid eyes on her was they day of the test.

I was fortunate, however, I met and married a wonderful man who treats her as if she were his own, so she's not missing out on having a "daddy" in her life. I keep my options open though in case her biological father wants to contact her and I know that some day he might. But, if not, she's well taken care of and loved as much as humanly possible.

About the whole court issue...don't worry too much about that. Just remember that you're doing the best thing for the child and the attorneys are just trying to get the facts. Your daughter will live through this and so will you.

Answer 2

It is a sad situation and I feel for you, but you know how the test will come out, so the result will be that he can no longer say things like that about you. Isn't it ironic how guys who cheat so often throw that at women who don't?

Anyway, this will end up being a good thing for you, so work on getting through it and deal with what happens the best you can.

Good luck.

~Please ignore the cruelty of the first poster. That person obviously has issues that have nothing to do with you.

Answer 3

I was in the same boat you are.My ex got me pregnant after we broke up and while he was with another girl.I also had a 1 and half year old to him already.He also thought i was a slut and didn't think the baby was his ,so he left town moved to another state with his girlfriend and I didn't hear from him in for 2 years.He came back.I got a test and now he knows she's his he thinks he's father of the year.My advise for you is do what you think is right for your child to protect them.There's going to be alot of nights crying but hang in there it will all work out in the end.I have a great guy who got with me when I was 5 months along ,and he's my kids dad now.

Answer 4

ANY man can be a sperm donor. it takes a special person to be a DADDY.
if he wants nothing to do with her don't make him. it will only cause problems in the long run. take his money for getting you pregnant and make him take responsibility for his own sperm.

i went thru it in a different way. i was with a man who had 3 daughters and an ex wife who didn't want anything to do with them. as a matter of fact she told the oldest and middle child " i should have had an abortion while i could have ". not every woman should be a mother just like not every man should be a daddy.
when they went to court she told the judge "let him keep the little fackers. i don't want 'em." the judge let her HAVE IT. she was ordered to pay child support and their divorce agreement said NO CHILD SUPPORT, specifically. she didn't have a job and was ordered to pay $300/mo. per child.
she spent the last 4 years in jail.

Answer 5

Do not worry about your daughter. If he has nothing to do with her better it be now because she does not know him-too young. He wants a paternity test and that is fine. If you know it will be him. He is possibly just trying to get out of child support because he is required to pay that till the child is 18.

Answer 6

I wish I could give you the answer or even something that could comfort you. However I believe that even when it's proven that your ex is the father, he still wouldn't want anything to do with your daughter. I hope I'm wrong about this.

Answer 7

Good luck with the lawyer. Some states demand DNA testing after babies are born. But by doing this he will know he is the father. But automatically this will set up child support. And don't expect he to want to see her if he has to pay child support. It could break up his new happy family.It cause's a lot of stress on new wives. It was hard for me, epically because we had a new baby. But you are doing the right thing for your child.

Answer 8

What an *** hoLe!!!I hate men!!Sorry this has happen to you.There are a lot of them ***** floating around out there.