this guy approached me i was 16 now i am 21 and he is 29.we love each other sincerely..wen i was in city i used to be with him and wil cal him atleast 20 times a day but now sinc i am wit my dad am not abl 2 cal him but ll cal him 2 times.so he got a kinda insecured feeling.so he used to scold me 4 not calling him frequently.wen noone was tere at home he used to cal me 2 his place and wil ve sex with me.wen riding he used to giv sexual pleasures in the public wen noone was seein i 2 liked it.but now guilty 4 itsince he is financially weak i helped him by giving my stud and ring although he had not returned it.he also loves me a lot and he has even cried for me wen i tel him tat i ll go away from him. i used to argue with him if he shouts at me.but if i argue with him he wil start talking me with bad words and also my parents.i believe him since he has been with me for 6 yrs.ours is an orthodox family.tey ll not acept our luv.he is tellin me if i don marry him he ll not mary anyone els
2007-03-20 23:48:06 · 10 answers · asked by anjana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This guys is dragging you down. You need to get away from him. WHen a guy is that much older than a 6 year old he is considered a child molester. He sounds manipulative, (crying and threatening suicide), and cruel. He won't kill himself, if he will then he is really not right for you. YOu don't need heartache. ALl he does is cause problems for you.
2007-03-20 23:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are from an orthidox family, you know right from wrong. As a stranger looking in from a different point of view I will give you some hard facts to look at. #1 and most important your Father loves you, it sounds like he is trying to protect you. A fathers love cannot be explained until you have children of your own. A relationship cannot be formed with sex and threats. The TIME you have invested in this relationship seems immense considering the fact that he apparently calls you names and doesn't seem to respect you. You have alot to offer a man that truly loves you and knows the meaning of love. you are only 21 with time to find that special person. Be strong and take control of your life. I have been married for 31 years , started dating my husband when I was 14. I know it seems like the OLD DAYS to you but nothing is any different now than it was then. The point I am trying to make is that in all those years my husband has never cursed at me or I to him. we respect eachother and would never hurt each other like that. Sex can be an addiction that holds you because you are comfortable and secure that he likes sex with you. It is not what holds a relationship together. Make a list of what is positive in your relationship and and a list of what is distructive. see what you can work on and what is a part of your lives that you feel will never change. Then make your decision from that. Look at your extended family also, not just your boyfriend. I also doubt that he really would not marry anyone else, That is another threat to keep you feeling guilty and holding you in the relationship. Put simply , tears = threat ( holding you by guilt) cursing= abuse , taking your jewelry= no respect, sex in public=no respect, shouting = no respect, not working to make a living= no respect for himself, expecting you to call 20 times a day= control. be strong and tell your dad that you love him, that is a bond you have had and will have for life.
2007-03-21 00:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by ridder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is not for you. Can you not hear what you are saying? He argues with you and yells at you using bad words. He's accepted your ring and stud which means he either isn't working or is spending his money on the wrong things.
He also took a chance on damaging your reputation by doing sexual things in public.
Your parents are correct. Forget him and find someone who is also orthodox.
This man is not someone you want to marry.
2007-03-20 23:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Nothing is worth loosing you life over.It is a rough situation that you are in, but you knew a long time ago that it was not going to work out for the two of you. You have let this go on way to long. If you feel that you can not go against your family's wishes, then it is best for you to let him go find happiness else where. He will be hurt, but eventually he will find someone that can commit to him. You need to make that choice now. You have let it go on for way too long. It will be painful, but if you truly love him, you will let him go . Unfortunately, love is not always enough.
2007-03-21 00:07:16 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt sound like a good match for you. He will not be the only guy out there WILLING to marry you! You deserve to be treated with respect and not "settle" for someone less. Listen to your family on this one. You can do much better than him im sure. Maybe as an added bonus, your family may like the next one!
2007-03-20 23:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by kelstar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you're making it an the two/or, you're screwed. you're able to desire to %. 2 factors to contemplate from in the previous solutions. a million) How does HER family participants experience approximately YOU? 2) in case you do marry her, issues will probable substitute as quickly as the grandkids arrive (if that occurs). or perchance faster. as quickly as your mum and dad get it that they'd rant and rave all they like and it won't substitute something, fantastically as they get to certainly comprehend your g/f, they'd mellow. i'm area Irish, we are realists and we do no longer likely stay mad too long, in maximum situations. yet another determination. Get a job in yet another city, if your g/f will save on with you, get married there and communicate by ability of mail/digital mail for a on a similar time as. although, chilly-blooded actuality. Your g/f will probable outlive your mum and dad. might extremely stay your existence with the female you like or finally end up a lonely and regretful person on your later years? study "scotgirl" and "anthony h", too. staggering solutions! advantages on your journey!"
2016-10-01 06:34:05 · answer #6 · answered by barile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do it get married you have to live with him not ur parents go for it gal and dnt let anyfin stop you if your parents care about you they will accept him after a while once they no he is important to you and you are important to him
good luck
p.s never let go of love couse you willl regret it
2007-03-20 23:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by persian gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am very sorry to hear about your family not accepting the guy. however, i have one question for you: how much do you love the guy? you see, just reading your testimonial, if i may call it that, i am actually wondering if you are happy with him.
2007-03-20 23:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by Bernadeth B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family members a usually right.
And if you know they arn't, then do what you feel is right.
2007-03-20 23:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by lol200hp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better watch it--this guy sounds NEEDY---better back off and see what happens then
2007-03-20 23:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by Billie R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋