My fiancee and I are forced to live with his mom because they own the house together and so no chance of us ever living apart from her. She has always been annoyingly controlling of me and ever since we had a baby last year it has gotten worse. I finally did have a talk with her that she needed to give me space to raise my son the way I wanted to, and she tried to back off but then she will just relapse back into her old ways. It is not just with my son but with my personal belongings and where I can keep them in the house all the way down to other things in my life. She has serious control issues and it's driving me nuts! I haven't talked to my fiancee about any of this and I know maybe I should because I think he feels similar that she tries to control him. Basically I need to hear from other moms who had to be forced to live with their M-i-L and how you may have handled it, even after you may have already talked to them about it. Thanks!
2007-03-20 22:46:56 · 9 answers · asked by abbeystar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know you requested answers from other who have been in this situation, i have not. I have, however, had friends who have done this and wished they had not. The pressure that builds up becomes so unhealthy and everyone seems to smoulder under the surface. You should talk with hubby first, and see where his view point is........ no one is ever really stuck and although the situation with finances around the house means you are living together - it doesn't have to be this way at all! P.S my friends that did this only JUST lived to tell the tale and one of them got divorced..........make the two of you a cuppa and have a serious chat. Good luck.
2007-03-20 23:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by kelstar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say RUN, DON'T WALK. Your relationship is doomed, if you don't take matters into your own hands. You fiancee is not stupid, he sees his mother just like you do. You must talk to him.
Rent a small apartment, tell your in-laws that they should buy your share of the house, and purchase a small house with that money. If your fiancee does not go along with it. Then he is just a moma's boy. Eventually, the two of you will break up because of your Mother in law.
Run, don't stop or you will never get the 'GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" card. (monopoly)
2007-03-20 22:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very hard to make your space in a group home, with mothering etc. but some times you need to look at it as helping family, chores, cooking, cleaning the whole 9 yards. Or move out. I was the same, it was work, work, work. I stayed on till my children grew up. Then I got my job. I was either at work or in my room. Till one day I saved up enough to be on my own. Once that happened and going out the door, I told the in law and her son, she could have him back and finish raising him. As of today they are stile together, hes in his 50s and her in the 80s. Now is when she needed her son. Hope its a little help for you. But yet just thank, we have children in hopes they will be their for us when we grow old.
2007-03-20 23:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question number 1. how old is she ... the mother in law ?? 2.. Any chance of her kicking the bucket soon...lol joking... like everyone else tends to lean too .. chances are things will not change and so if i were i would start now and look for that small apartment... good luck
2007-03-20 23:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by freckles84403 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
if he wants to be a man he will be the man and stand on his own. the mom wants to keep her own baby forever, she knows it's wrong, but doesn't want to be alone.
but you and your husband can't let her, she can still visit. if you have to stay in the same house, 4 a while, but he still has to set boundries
2007-03-20 22:56:21 · answer #5 · answered by stephen b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk with your husband and your mother in law. you need to let her know how u feel about this situation. let her know your wish of resolving this issue with a peaceful solution. if all else fails, u'll need to get outta there because that's not ur home.
2007-03-20 23:00:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been through that luckily though my husband saw how things were and decided it's not going to work so he moved us really far away ......... our relationship ( me and his mom ) is better with us away from each other . sadly the only way you can deal with this is if you move but i guess it's out of the question . so goodluck !
2007-03-20 22:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by asphyxia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would talk to my man.Maybe it's time to sell the house.Are you suppose to live with his mother forever?I don't know how you do it.I couldn't.I would demand something be done about this.I feel for you.Sorrry!
2007-03-20 23:17:52 · answer #8 · answered by lady2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you spread your legs for a guy who isn't your husband and had a bastard kid, now live with it, in a house where you do not belong.
2007-03-20 23:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋